September 30, 1975
Wow I want to write my feelings as I left the wohnung this morning. I was up at 4:30, exercised and shaved and dressed by 5:00. At 5:00 I had a great little English Scripture reading period and thinking and pondering about it. Then at 5:20 I prayed and I was ready to study. I studied my discussions for 1.25 hours and was ready for companion study at 6:45. Then at 7:45 we ate and I was studying again at 8:30. We went to work at 9:30. That’s about 2-1/2 hour’s personal and 1 hour companion study plus I got about another ½ at least on the bus for a total of at least 4 hours study. I felt so good, tired only at first and it really was great. I am going to keep this schedule for a few months and never later than 5:00 for a getting up time. I can feel the strength coming into me. Since this last Zone Conference I have really got myself straight and I am going to keep going strong now. It feels so good.
Today wasn’t a very good day really for the work. We worked around here this morning and went into the Stad to get some stuff for our flip books; Family Abend books, and etc., etc. We have a hard time with mornings because our Gegend is too far away to come back for lunch like we had with Schwester Borner today. After we ate bei her we were late getting to our first appointment. It fell out also. Then we tracted for a while and went to Kladow. There Schwester Schade told us to leave her alone. So went visited Schwester Todtman. I helped her sow for a few minutes but she didn’t have much time. Then we ate at this American raised German lady named Bortlett. We had pizza and it took a long time. We were there over 2 hours, way too long. Anyway it was not a very good day. It doesn’t bother my attitude at all though; I am ready to go get them. I feel strong.
October 1, 1975
Today we were out all day but it didn’t seem like we got a whole lot done. Sometimes I feel that we are not quite doing it right. Tomorrow, I am on and I am going to try and do a little better job. I can really see the adversaries influence in trying to stop us. I cannot really believe how things go sometimes, but I know the Lord will bless us if we have Faith.
I got up early again this morning. It feels good and I got a lot of good studying in before we left. I wish sometimes I could get more in but I know how hard it is. I feel good with my progress – now keep it going.
Today we ate bei Tchirpig’s and after lunch Brother Tchirpig’s gave Elder Reichman two old Bibles. One was 1853 and the other 1904. Wow, I would have loved to have one but he gave them to Elder Reichman. What can you do? I am not jealous or envious really but it was a funny situation. Na, ja, I’ll find one like I really want, one day.
My companion and I had a bission straf today. Several times during the day feelings were raw and then it blew a little at a particular door. We worked it okay, I guess but I still need to work on humility and stuff. There are a lot of things I need to work on. I really have trouble with Pride sometimes but I am working on it. One thing that is in my eyes not so good, and that is the unorganization of my companion sometimes. He is a great Elder and he works hard – real hard – but he doesn’t have it all together sometimes. Na, ja, I’m not the judge and I can’t have negative feelings. I don’t I just am taking notes for when I turn Senior. There are a lot of things I have got to learn. Now more than ever am I dependent upon the Lord. I really love my Mission, amidst slamming doors and all.
October 2, 1975
Today was a pretty good day. I was on and I thought I lead us into a pretty good job. We taught a couple of good discussions.
October 3, 1975
I never have enough time on Fridays. We had to shop for the other brethren. I made Mitzie a tape early this morning and wrote Mom a letter and Marcia a good letter. But that’s all we did. I just don’t get over the work. Today I had a good discussion with Bentil. D-2 with the Spirit. Our bus driver friend helped us out tonight, a cool guy and a neat story for another time. We also had Pizza bei Rosi’s.
October 4, 1975
Well I was on today. We really didn’t know what to do with ourselves this morning. We took my umfrage and went around doing GQ’s this morning. It worked okay but we have got to think of some better things. We had a great talk with Frank Simon. He was baptized in March but has since fallen away. He is a great guy though. I really think a lot of him. He is not an unteraucher but I think he is the most important guy we are teaching right now. I would sure like to help him get a testimony.
We had a long day and all and we were home tonight and had to go to Schwester Borners. She wanted us to pick up some food and we forgot so we had to go back and get it. Made us late, the whole bit. I was pretty mad about my own stupidity. Na, ja, I got a whole lot to write about, maybe tomorrow I will have time.
October 5, 1975
We had a very good day. We had two investigators to church this morning. Seref and Thomas Megrich. I was with Thomas the whole time. I don’t know why but I felt negative waves most of the time. It was really funny, or bad I should say. Seref is real good though. I wonder about a lot of things, but no one has ever told me i.e. what to do with investigators in church. How do we explain all the things? So for I have just done what I felt was best.
After eating at Rosie’s we went to Teirgarten for the General Conference. They had the first one in German and I understood most of it, but then we stayed for the Sunday Morning live – it was at 5:00 for us. It was fantastic. There is just something about the mother language and hearing their voices, the voices of the prophet and the apostles, that just warms my soul. I never realized a lot of these things before but it is so important in my life. I wrote a little bit of my feelings while I was sitting there. I was really touched, as I felt their Spirit coming over the wire. It was special.
Elder Haight gave a talk on being true to yourself, understanding ourselves and realizing that we can’t make it alone in the this world. It was one of the best talks I have ever heard, and it had a special meaning for me in thinking back on my experiences of the last few weeks. I really just sat there in amazement and knew that that talk was special for me in a lot of ways. My feelings lately have been turning towards the tender moments I have felt in my life through my association with Mitzie. They talk about eternal marriage and companionship of that sort and I know some of the feelings. I don’t know if it will be with Mitzie or not but my feelings for my wife are going to be the strongest with those for the church that I have. It’s clear to me that that is one of the biggest parts of God’s plan. The Conference was great.
October 6, 1975
We tausched out for a few houses this morning, Elder Reichman and I were in his gegend for a couple of hours. It was pretty cool. We have a lot of fun together and really do a pretty good job. Then we ate with Schwester Borner. She is such a nice lady. I really can’t believe how nice she is. All her kids have turned against her, most the people in the Geminde don’t like her, she has trouble with her feet, etc., etc., but she is so strong in the Gospel. We made a tape with her after lunch for someone’s birthday. I really don’t know who but I think it was her daughter in American. She then told us about her problems with her feet. She has really developed a lot of faith. She loves the Lord.
We worked in the new Gegend today. We went a little farther on the same area. We are using the Umfrage now. It works really good I think. We met a pastor tonight; we’ll go back Wednesday with a F.A. book and see if we can get him coming along.
I got 4 letters today. Mom, Mrs. T., Michelle, and Joey Judd. They were all good but Mom’s especially. I had sent them some slide and all so I am just getting the comments back. She was so impressed with all the things. I don’t think about it anymore but all the streets, the houses, everything is different here. I’ll have to notice things better and take some good pictures and share this with them better.
Mom also commented on Richard. She says he really has a hard time with Spiritual things. Sure would like to help him.
Mitzie was up there Sunday. She stayed right through the home teachers so that’s cool. She feels at home and that is good.
October 7, 1975
Today it was cold. I took my coat with me all day for the first time and wow did I ever need it. We got rained on and literally soaked. I was wet the whole afternoon and evening. We had a discussion bei a Frau Meckback, which went real good. We also gave one to Obst, our preacher. He and his wife are real negative, but the thing is they won’t read the Book of Mormon (she won’t anyway) because I think they will know that it’s true. We need to touch them with the Spirit a bit better.
I had some negative feelings against my companion today. I realize now that Satan was just prodding me along. I need to work in this area and realize the goal I set for myself.
Tonight when we came home we learned that Elder Manwaring is going to Bremen, Thursday, as the new Zone Leader. I guess I am pretty upset about it, not really but it’s going to be tough without him. (More later!)
October 8, 1975
My feelings are really mixed up today. Elder Manwaring is leaving tomorrow and all and I just feel a little lost. We went to the Choir practice this morning and I was uneasy the whole time. I am not really a bad singer but I need to develop some confidence in that area. That wasn’t why I was uneasy, though; it was because I saw all the other Elders and realized what kind of men they are. Some good, some not as good as they should. I have learned so much (from myself as I used to be) and the changes I’ve made. I can see progress and will strive for more. Elder Reichman and I were together on an Austausch today. Found a good family too!
October 9, 1975
Elder Manwaring
When I stepped off the plane in Berlin on June 26, 1975, there were three Elders there that I will always remember. One of them was Elder Hill, my first Zone Leader, another my first companion, who taught me so much and got me started on a wonderful Mission, Elder Blackham, and the third was Elder Paul A. Manwaring. I just can’t explain in words how my life has been touched by Elder Manwaring’s fine example and council. He taught me by example. He was always careful never to make any of us feel personally offended at what he said. I just knew when he spoke; he was representing the Lord as my District Leader. Elder Manwaring is/was an Elder that knew himself. He knew himself better than anyone I have ever known. He was true to himself, and there were times when he appeared power-hungry, or cocky, but in reality he knew what was best, and had the strength to stick by it. There was always a shining light there when he gave us council. He was humble, very humble when concerned with things of himself, and strong or forceful when concerned with things that were for the District through him. When I think of the way he seeked for and was guided by the Spirit, I realize so many things about myself and about Spiritual things generally. I studied him. I tried to understand him. And I learned more from him, mainly through observation of a fine example of an Elder, than he will ever know. Elder Paul A Manwaring opened my eyes to the possibilities I have before me as an Elder and Missionary in the Kingdom of God. I will be ever indebted to the Lord for sending me to Berlin here in Spandau to learn from this fine Elder.
Elder Manwaring was a friend to all. He had a light in his eyes and he listened to everything we had to say. He was a friend, and because of it he had many friends. I hope I can learn from his example. There are so many things. Last night after we were all to bed I got up and went in to see if I could help him pack or little more. We worked for awhile and then we had a good long talk. It was so special. He told me a lot of things. He told me a very special, personal, story of how he came to know he should go to Ricks. He has previously made up his mind to come to Dixie College because he loved the town and the temple and all. But after hearing a tape about decisions he earnestly sought the Lord’s help. After much fasting he was struggling with the Lord in sincere prayer when a vision opened up to him. It was of a vision of the valley of Rexburg, Idaho. He had never seen it but he knew what it was. He has his prayer answered and went to Ricks College. The experiences he had there were so beautiful and it was the right thing for him to do. As Elder Manwaring told me this very personal story in full detail and with the Spirit my heart was just overwhelmed. I realized what a very special, special Spirit he is. I also realized that whenever I have an important decision to make that I should do exactly what he did. I am making it my goal right now that even though I might pick her, I am going to have the Lord okay my choice of life mate, my wife, in such a vision.
Elder Manwaring and I had a special time. Afterwards we knelt down together and I gave a prayer in English. His last companion prayer in Spandau. He is truly one of the greatest men I have ever known and he will never know how he has touched my life. I know now what kind of Elder and man I want to be. I think I have always had these things I am feeling in one but it took a little mirror into my future so to say to get my wheels turning. I will be the man I want to be but Elder Manwaring gave me a little better idea of how to go about it.
There is one more thing that I want to get down. And that is this: Last night as we stood up from that prayer Elder Manwaring looked at me and said, “You know I feel impressed to tell you that there is going to come a time in your Mission when you’ll wonder why you’re not a Zone Leader, or Senior, or etc., etc. Well don’t worry about. Just put your trust in the Lord and things will go well for you.” Wow what a good piece of advice.
October 10, 1975
I guess I will be talking about Elder Manwaring for a long time. Whenever I do things sometimes I see him doing them also. He is a great Elder and a great friend.
My new district leader is a great Elder. He is not quite as serious as most Elders but when the time comes he knows how to I see all these Elders and I pick the good qualities out of them and try to incorporate them into my life. The bad if any I try to overlook and hope they will overlook my bad qualities in our relationships. I am really learning a lot and I am developing into the Elder I hopefully want to be.
It has been a big hassle with the money situation this month. Elder Manwaring left and he didn’t have things figured out too good. Now I am out 50 DM somewhere, I hope I get it back.
Today was preparation day. We did real good this morning but in the afternoon our time sort of went by. We had 4 appointments and all but one fell through. I know why though. Elder McCowin and I had a real fight right before the discussion. It turns out, I was in the wrong. I honestly believe that he did it all wrong. But I should have followed him. Anyway after prayer, and thinking and coming to myself I realize that even if my Senior does it wrong or I think it wrong; as long as it isn’t a discipline or rules problem I should follow him all the way. What an important lesson. We talked on the street there for over an hour but I finally realized the principle. I still don’t like the way it was done but I have a lot of Respect for Elder McCowin and I learned a very important principle. He has the responsibility for what we give; I have the responsibility to FOLLOW.
I really feel the responsibility of becoming a Senior. Elder Reichman and I talked about it the other day. Apparently the President told him last Zone Conference that he would be turning Senior soon. That really struck me funny. Wow, what a responsibility! I am starting right now to prepare myself to become a Senior. The example I will need to set. The responsibility I will have for my investigators and all the things I will be doing. I know I am not ready and I really hope it will be a while before I turn.
Here is a thought that I want to eternalize: You know. I have really been thinking about positions, callings, titles and things in general. E.B. has told me how it is in the office. I have come to the conclusion that my Mission is going to be successful and a stepping stone for my whole life when I serve the Lord the best I can and grow and learn the best I can. I hope I never want a position for self glory. Righteous aspiration maybe. But as far as Positions go I hope I never go into the Office (if the Lord calls fine), but I want to teach the Gospel. I just hope I can serve the Lord the best I can wherever I am. A good Senior companion is my foremost goal. The rest will come.
October 11, 1975
Today was a pretty rotten day for they work. We had a couple of appointments fall out and then we spent the afternoon with Rosi’s crew for Brigitta’s birthday and then the evening with Tschirpigs for his. I guess we only got 4 hours yesterday proselyting, but I thought we did more than that.
We went by Sister Todtmans yesterday. All we did was an assortment of old jobs and work around the house. She is old and he is really over the hill so neither one of them can do that much. They just needed some help.
Wow their house was weird with all the attics and cellars and nooks and crannies. It’s just like our house. The other night I went down to get some coal and it’s just like a dungeon down there. All these doors and tunnels and stuff hanging around. These houses are years and years old lots of them. I really wonder what’s down in their kellers in a lot of them. I bet you’d find a lot of secrets in this old world. I couldn’t believe Todtmans roof either. All they do is make a cross frame and then lay the tiles on slates. The tiles have hooks that fit over the runners or slates and they just are laying there. And that’s all. It’s really weird the way the Germans do a lot of things.
We had a party at Rosi’s nachmitag. Its fun to go but I really don’t like to get into it. The games and all.
Tonight we were at Tschiepigs. He is a good old guy. His wife is weird but he’s okay. There were some other people there and they started to gossip about Sister Borner not wearing shoes. After hearing the whole story from Sister Borner and all the pain and misery she’s gone through it really bothered me to hear that crap. I tried a couple of times to say something and feel bad now that I didn’t. Gossip and that is one of the worst fall downs of humans. It hurts everybody.
Someday maybe I’ll get all these proselyting tips together but here is another list of things that I have been thinking about. Some more things to keep in mind.
Commitments – Make sure your investigators understand and are willing to make commitments. After they are made then be stern in helping them to keep them. They only grow when challenged and living up to commitments.
When a discussion falls out either on the door or telephone when you can talk to them. Be Stern! Let them know you are not happy about it. Be nice – but stern. That way it will be harder for them to break the next one also.
THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT. Make sure that the junior knows he is to be led by the senior. The senior is the one whose responsibility it is, to take care of the investigators!
When you are going to the Gegend for a discussion always be prepared to do something else in case it falls out.
Show interest and try and reaffirm your appointments with cards, notes, visits and/or telephone calls. Never a full week without some kind of contact.
October 12, 1975
Well we had a good Sunday but I didn’t really accomplish too much. It seems if you plan to make any progress in any given day you have to plan for it. I know the days I have a planned schedule of what I am going to do and what I want to accomplish then I can usually get it done. Otherwise I sometimes slide. I can’t believe how important this idea is and how little I follow it. Well I guess I will start again.
I did an awful lot of Scripture marking today. I have these neat yellow pens and I really marked up a storm in my triple today. All my favorites that I hadn’t had a chance or really taken time I guess to do. A good arbeit. We ate bei Tchirpigs again tonight. Wow I ate too much. I am going to have to cut down. I am getting fat.
October 13, 1975
Today we went into Tiergarten to sing with the Choir. I was really excited about my tenor part. Actually its alto but I really love it. I sat by Elder Brinton. He is a great Elder and such a good singer. I hope I can stay in Berlin for the choir. I think it would be great.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my situation here and all that I do and my feelings. There are a lot of negative feelings I have that I would really like to get rid of. I want to be so positive and happy, because I know that is the Lord’s way.
I have been thinking about baptisms and success as a Missionary and all. I want to develop more faith and be a better success. My desire will come first and then I will turn it into success through my faith the way the President says. Desire and Faith. I WILL BAPTIZE!
October 14, 1975 I have a little time tonight so I thought I would write down my feelings on a few things. Elder Reichman and I were austauched again today. We had a good long day but I wonder sometimes about the efficiency of the work we did today. We didn’t really meet that many people. Elder McCowin does this a lot. He wants to save time sometimes when we only have an hour say, but instead we go tramping off trying to find a Gold Card somewhere and waste the whole hour. When I turn Senior there are lots of things I am going to try and do but one of the main ones is use my time well.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about marriage and people and myself. Sometimes it is really distracting because I am attracted to some of these young ladies. Nothing physical or personal just the natural attraction that the President talks about I think about my experiences and good times with Mitzie. I really don’t know how it is going to work out between us but on the other hand I wonder what I’d do without her. With her or without her?! I guess I can only put my trust in the Lord and do the things I am supposed to for now. And that’s to try and be the best Missionary I can. I really need to strive to concentrate my mind on these things. I am just most the time to aware of what’s going on. I notice a lot of stuff about people, places, buildings, etc. It is all so new sometimes. I just enjoy thinking about these people and places.
I feel like we really need to do better in bringing our investigators along. It seems like we have lost so many lately that I don’t know what is going on. I guess we just need to develop a better attitude of success and faith. I really enjoy the work and hope that things will start coming along. Tomorrow we are giving a “J” discussion and probably bless Sister Borner. She is in the hospital with a stroke. We will see how things go but it should be a good day tomorrow.
October 15, 1975
Well another day of my life has slipped by. They seem long at times and short at times but today was a fast one. We had choir practice this morning. It was good but I don’t feel good about my singing a lot of times. After that we had a great essen bei Tchirpig’s. It was real good.
After lunch we went and gave Sister Borner a blessing. She went into the hospital Sunday night with a stroke. We went by yesterday and she asked for a blessing, as Elder McCowin and I gave her a blessing for the sick. I anointed her and Elder McCowin sealed the blessing. I was really impressed with the experience. I guess that is the first blessing I have ever given. I have participated but never done it before. I had to give it in German and I did okay but it was really hard for me and it could have been better. I could really feel the power there, German or no German. I know that the power of the Priesthood is really special. I can’t wait until I can bless my family with the Priesthood.
We had a special discussion tonight with the Sisters. They have been teaching a Frau Grundman for awhile and they wanted us to come and talk about the Priesthood. She is a good lady and we gave her a strong baptismal challenge. She was almost ready to accept it. I think next week we will be able to help her take the step. We are going back next Monday evening. I think it is great working with the Sisters. They have a special spirit about them.
Tonight Elder Reichman was talking about baptisms, he doing this and that and I wonder about his motives and my own self too. I think we have to always ask ourselves about who we are doing it for. Is it for our own glory, or for the Lord’s???
October 16, 1975
Today I was austausched with Elder Breitenbeker. We had a real good day together. We worked hard but we really didn’t get a whole lot done. We looked for an apartment this morning for the two Elders we are going to get next week. That is something else, looking for a room somewhere to rent. It’s going to take a lot of faith and prayers to find one.
We went bei a lot of people today. One family that we visited was really bad. They are named Kohler but are really crazy. The man was a little drunk and the Frau is behindert. I felt real bad for both of them.
Tonight we had a chance to visit Herr Obst again. We could only stay for a few minutes, but we gave him real strong testimony. Tuesday he said it didn’t go but after that little confirmation of the Spirit, I sure would like to get him into the church. He would make a good member.
We had a good day. I really have a lot of respect for Elder Breitenbeker. There are a lot of things I am going to do different but he is still a great Elder.
October 17, 1975
Wow, we really worked hard today. We left at 10:00, came back about 9:00 and only stopped for about 30 minutes for a wurst at lunch. We were making CB’s and also passing out invitations for our Ausstelling in Tiergarten. I could believe how good of an excuse that was. A lot of these people won’t go but I am sure they will think about it and there are a lot that will go. It was just a great excuse to talk to them once more. I was thinking about it and if we ever need an excuse or just want to get to all the investigators a film abend, or ausstelling, or anything special like that works great.
I was sitting there this morning in a discussion with Thomas Meyrich. He invited us to his Yogi presentation and all. Anyway I was sitting there talking to him and so many things just struck me clear. He was talking about everyone’s way gets back to God, that we all have to live through a lot of troubles and therefore should take the easy way out, that he will never marry because he doesn’t want any kids to come along in these troubled times, etc., etc. Wow, I couldn’t believe how true the Book of Mormon is. It talks about (1) how the abominable church has a wrong concept of God, (2) how the devil lets many ways appear as truth, (3) how he makes earthly pleasures appear as the only joy in life, (4) how he appeals to the natural man. When things get tough, the natural man looks for an escape. Thomas fits all of these, and Herr Obst fits the first. He doesn’t have a true concept of God and therefore no goal. (See Journal.)
Thomas told me that I didn’t live in this world. He said that I was always in a world of joy, faith, and peace but all the same a fake world. He says the world is real and cruel and therefore he finds escapes and other means to “enjoy life.” I can’t believe how clear that hit me. Truth is eternal. I unlike Thomas do know what is in my future. I do want to marry because I know what will happen to my kids. He was right I do live in another world. The world of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not escape this world; in fact I enjoy it more than Thomas ever will be able to. This is a lovely earth. I am thankful I am here. But I am so thankful for my membership in the kingdom of God. For the opportunities that I have, I was sitting there listening to Thomas and realizing what I had. That I did live in a totally different world, that I knew the truth, that I had the Gospel and my heart was overcome. My eyes started to water and my heart was just overwhelmed.
October 17, 1975
I just couldn’t believe how blessed I am. I wanted so bad to give this same knowledge to Thomas. He just couldn’t see it. My heart is heavy when I realize what he has to look forward to. My message is so true and could help him so much but he isn’t accepting it. I need to pray and have faith for him and my other investigators. The President says you can just about love someone into the church. I want more than anything else to bring someone into the church and share these blessings with them. And not only one but several.
My hopes could be right around the corner. We are teaching A Frau Meckbach. She is also searching. She is real great and is really working at the Gospel. She is Golden. I have such good hopes for her and such good feelings. We should turn her over to the sisters but I really don’t want to she’s so good. But I was thinking about it and decided to get my attitude right. I am looking at my own glory and selfishness when I want to keep teaching her. Because of the situation we should give her to the sisters and I know we will be blessed for it. I really do have great feelings for her. Time and the Lord’s Spirit should do it.
I made a few personal goals today.
To be done with F by November 1.
To love my companion more.
To seek the Lord’s Spirit in all my tasks.
I feel that I really have a lot of areas to work and these goals pick up three of the hardest areas for me.
October 18, 1975
Saturday
Well the biggest news! This morning I learned about my transfer. I’ll be going to Lankwitz here in Berlin. I was really shaken up I guess when I heard the news but I am really excited now. I have a lot of feelings but I’ll write them when I can sit down and straighten them all out. At least I am staying in Berlin and singing in the Choir. That’s good.
We took today as our preparation day. It went fast. We had to catch the a-bahn at 2:00 though for all the special meetings. We had a real special day. Frau Meckbach came to the dedication of the Stake house. It was a great meeting. We had a special leadership meeting at 3:30 and then the dedication at 5:00. The Phal House Berlin was dedicated by Elder Joseph Wirthland, assistant to the 12. Then afterward we had the Priesthood meeting for Conference. It was great. Enzio Busche gave a great talk. All in all it was a great day and I was really touched by the Spirit.
October 19, 1975
Sunday – Phal Berlin Conference
We had a great day today. It started early as we had to be in Tiergarten by about 9:30. Conference was real great, and the best thing about it was it was all in German and I understood all of it. When I really listen there is just about nothing that I miss. That’s a great feeling. The Stake President, President Schwendiman, Enzio Busche, and others talked it was real good. President Schwendiman said something that I thought was great. He talked about the Missionary work, but then he talked right to investigators that were there. He told them they were feeling the Spirit, right there. That’s a great idea for all my talks when there might be investigators there. It works. It was a good meeting. After we blew most of the afternoon doing nothing. Church was not that good either but it was a good day anyway. We had a good District meeting tonight.
I have a lot of feelings as I approach this transfer. My new companion is named Brad Jones, I think. He has a little longer hair than he should and dresses a little flashy but I think he’s a good Elder. As I approach this change, I realize a lot of things about myself. My preparation. My discussions are weak, but I know the Lord will bless me in that if I work hard. As I change locations and all I want more than anything to be the image of my dreams. My language, attitude, projection, ability, and confidence should all be of good caliber now. When they ask me how long out I’ve been I want to say – oh, under a year. I don’t want to be pegged as a Golden. It’s a lot of change but what I am saying is I don’t have any excuses now. I am a German speaking missionary and I should be able to do all that is required of me in the area. If my companion has trouble anywhere I want to take the attitude of being his helper. I want to really love him. I think last time I put myself above my companion too much. I want to humble myself and really follow him and learn from him. I feel a lot of responsibility as I make this change but I know how great an opportunity it is. I am excited and ready to go.
Goals:Work hard these next two months – especially Discussion. GET UP EARLY.
Keep all the goals you have now. Be true to yourself.
Help and love my new companion all I know how.
Dedicate myself to the Lord, seek his guidance always.
October 20, 1975
Well another day closer to Thursday. I am really looking forward to my first big transfer. Then at the same time I wonder about it. I talked to Elder Jones today at Choir practice. He didn’t seem to think too much of anything. Na, ya, he’s a good Elder but I sure don’t want to be like him. I am not going with a negative attitude or anything, just that I want to be the Missionary I should and will be. We are going to do great together. It will be my first 2-man apartment and we should really be able to work together good. I am going to go in there with a good positive attitude and remember my goal about finding fault in people. If I do those 2 things my attitude will be right and it will work.
I got a little upset at myself today. I hadn’t had any post from Mitzie for over a week now, and my mind was wondering and wondering about all sorts of possibilities. I guess you could say I was a little upset. Well I got a tape from her today and everything is fine. But that’s not the problem, of course. The problem is I don’t know what I’ll do if she is there waiting for me when I get home, and like today I don’t know what I’d do if she suddenly says Tschuss. It’s not a problem I just wonder sometimes is all. Today I think I solved it though. I was thinking about these things so I said a prayer coming home on the a-bahn. Two things hit me clear. (1) If she really loves me she will be there when I get home, and (2) I will put my trust in the Lord about my after Mission plans. I am going to put my Trust in the Lord from here on out. I don’t want to get distracted from the work or busy my mind with thoughts of here. She is a great person but I don’t have time – now is not the time to think about it. Be true to yourself.
We had an eating appointment with Brother Tchirpig today. Our last one with him. He gave Elder Reichman and I both pens. He’s a good old guy but he sure does get mad easy. We had a whole bit mix-up this weekend over his invitation and our fasting for a Sister and all. Everything worked out okay but it was still a big hassle.
We stopped by Frau Meckback tonight. She is really golden. She is talking about baptism and authority already. I just know she is going to be baptized sometime. I wish I could stay here for just a little while longer.
We also had a good discussion with the Sisters at a Frau Grundman. We challenged her to baptism but she needs a little more time although I think she will also be baptized. I can really see some good success coming to the Spandau area.
October 21, 1975
What a day. Elder McCowin was sick today and I didn’t get much done. Elder Reichman and I went to an appointment for them at 10:00 and then went and ate at Voghts. Afterward I stayed home with Elder McCowin till 6:00 when we had to go to Frau Meckbachs. So, all in all it wasn’t too good. We had a good discussion with Frau Meckbach, and she’s coming to the baptism Friday. She’s going to be baptized I just know it. We will be praying for her.
I did a lot of odds and ends tonight. Got packed a little, etc., etc. I am pretty well ready to go but it doesn’t seem real. I only have one more day here in Spandau. I guess it is just my time. It just doesn’t seem real is all.
October 22, 1975
Well as I close the Page on Spandau and open the chapter titled “Lankwitz” my heart is full. I have really come to love this place. I guess your first wohnung and everything is always a special one. The people I have come to know and the young people that I have had so much association with. This really is a great place. A great place to spend your first months. I have now been 4 months in Germany. It doesn’t seem like it but it is. My progress was rapid at first but now it seems as if I have almost stopped. I know I am learning more everyday but it just seems slow. This being my first Transfer and all I am not too organized and can see that I have way too much junk. Most of it is books. I am brining a lot of Family Home Evening books that I won’t take next time. It was pretty neat really getting all my stuff together. I got a lot really.
It is now early Thursday morning. I will be climbing on the bus to Zoo in about 2 hours. As I leave Spandau I think also of the great Elders I met here. I realize too how great of a start I got for my Mission. I feel strong in one area. And that is personal development in knowing myself. I really have learned a lot of things about myself and what I want to be, who I am etc., etc. Also I think of the chance I have how to meet some other people and to rededicate myself to the Lord. I will now try just a little harder, be a little more diligent, work harder and just be a little better than I was. I want to always improve. Yes it’s been great here in Spandau and I am thankful but I am now ready to embark on another chapter entitled “Lankwitz.”