Sunday August 15, 1976
My life sure has changed as I now find myself reliving the experience I had as a Golden through my companion’s eyes. My Golden. His name is Gary Lee ROGERS. What a crack-up. The Rogers brothers they call me. It’s so neat having a Golden. All the things that really impress him are so ordinary to me. I live each experience again through his eyes. I really love and appreciate Elder Rogers. He is a fine Missionary and has a great attitude towards the work and the life in general. He played football for Scottsdale, Coronado High School, so we have a lot in common. He is a water-skiing and knows the fun of all the sun sports. His father was in the air-force and was a real great guy. He was one of 6 pilots chosen for the Air-forces “Dinosaur Program as an astronaut. This program was finally cut off by the Government but he would have been there. He was killed about ten years ago in Viet Nam so Elder Rogers has been without a father for the last 10 years or so. He is a great Elder and I am really thankful for the opportunity I have to work with him at this time.
August 19, 1976
Wow time flies. I’ve been with Elder Rogers for a week tomorrow. His first week in Germany. We sure have had a good week. We have put in some good work and seen some good success. Tuesday I think it was I had a good talk with Fran Rumph. We talked about several things and she opened up a little. I’d like to talk to her more and help her if I could. – Tonight we had a special experience with the Palm Family. We gave them a D discussion and really taught them a lot. They are so unbelieving. It was really tough and they didn’t want us back, but before we left we asked them if we could leave a prayer in their home. We asked them to kneel with us but they wouldn’t so we kneeled at their feet and prayed. The spirit was really there. It was really special. They couldn’t say much when we got off our knees. We almost half-expected them to call me but they didn’t the next day. It was a neat experience.
August 21, 1976
Today is Mitzies 20th birthday. I really can’t believe that. I remember her when she turned 16 and even earlier at 14 as an eighth grader. But today she’s 20. She is in Israel today; in fact I think she is visiting the Garden Tomb. What an experience for her. I am really tickled that she can have this opportunity at this time.
Lately in our letters we haven’t really been communicating too well. I wrote her a letter yesterday talking about that and I really think it will change things for us a little. She is so neat. I really want to keep the lines of communication open between us, and I think we will. Mitzie is a very special girl. Who knows where we will both be next year at this time.
August 22, 1976
Today we had our special Missionary program at the geminde. We gave 4 talks and Sister Young sang a song. It was really good. Afterwards, although I felt real good about my talk, I realize that the German was again lousy in places. I’m trying but it’s still tough. I talked faster than I ever have before but the talk could have been better. I felt the Spirit though, and that was neat.
Tonight I had a special experience with Elder Pillmann. We talked about his situation and then he committed to do some things better. The President told me to get him to commit to me so that what we did. He gave me several commitments and for the first time in my life I felt like a Leader should feel as he correctly handles problems. It was a special experience for me. The learning was done by me, then and there. D&C 121.
August 23, 1976
Tomorrow we are having a Mission Conference. The only one we have ever had since I’ve been in Germany. We received a letter today telling us how it would change our lives. I’m very excited for tomorrow. It should be great!
August 24, 1976
-MISSION CONFERENCE-
It’s with gratitude that fills my heart that I want to write a few things about this special day that I have had in my life. Today we attended the first Mission Conference we have ever had in Wartenau, Hamburg. The President called us all together to explain to us how we were going to change and have a rebirth here in this Mission. He talked about all the things that he learned and practiced as a Missionary. He showed us a plan and explained how it would work for us also. It was so neat. And then he passed out a special Personal Commitment sheet and we committed ourselves to follow this plan and Baptize people. It was a very important and special commitment.
Today was really special because all the things that we learned I have felt before. My commitment that I wrote down was nothing more than the renewing of my goals of January. In January of this year I set a goal to baptize 7 people. Now with four months left I am committing to reach this goal. Today will be a special day in my life. I am repenting of all my past failures of all the time I haven’t given to the Lord, of all the things I haven’t done and with this rebirth I commit myself totally to the Lord. I have 1/3 of my Mission left but in these 8 months I am going to accomplish what I set out to do. To Baptize. I know it can be done and I know through the feelings in my heart who’s going to do it.
My heart is full but I want to record one more thing. Tonight my companion and I wrote personal commitment and made a covenant with the Lord. We made a commitment to do certain things and entered through a very special prayer into a covenant with him. We will baptize in September. That is our commitment. The President told us the will of the Lord and today we understood what he expects from us. We answered the call and made a covenant to Baptize in September. I know we entered the door. Now I need the courage to follow through. Today was the day.
August 25, 1976
It seems I always get behind. It is now the weekend already and I’m trying to catch up on days events and happenings from the past. We had a great day today. Coming off the great Conference as we did it is really neat even to be a Missionary. We worked hard today and saw a lot of success. We taught our young guy Wolfgang Schloh this afternoon. We gave him a D and “Suche”. It went real well. He’s a good guy. Our next baptism. I really felt good about today and the work we did.
August 27, 1976
What a special day. It started out so great with a phone call about 8:00 this morning from Mitzie. We had a good long talk! I was very touched by her strong feelings and Spirit. Lately I have felt that the communication has really been down. I got one letter and a note written on the back of the “Blab” in all of August so I was a little anxious for news myself. But the talk cleared up everything. It was so neat just to hear her voice. I don’t know. As the time gets closer and closer I get pretty scared but I will put my trust in the Lord. As for Mitzie, she sure is a beautiful girl in all aspects. She might be gone by the time I get this but I will just have to play it as it comes. Right now though she sure is a big support to me. I really love and appreciate her. I can see things working out so good for us…but who knows. The Lord will guide me.
We also had a very beautiful experience with a Fran Schultz on Eldechausser. She is one of these rich old ladies that travels all over the place. She has seen more of America than I have. We had a good talk with her that later turned into a discussion. It was a neat experience.
Today we also took an ausflug to Friedrichsdorf on the other side of the city. I was really impressed by all the stuff. I want to study up on all that stuff when I go home. Otto von Bismark and all the guys.
August 31, 1976
If possible I would like to express my feelings about a situation that has really been causing me problems. It concerns the Elders of my District, Elders Pillmann and Casey. More specifically it concerns Elder Pillmann. Elder Erich Pillmann comes from Vienna, Austria. He is a very special Elder and has his own very special problems. He was sent here from Berlin because of the situation and also so the President could keep a good close check on things.
We it’s been a battle and we’ve been working and working with him and things have been good one day and bad the next for quite some time. Well Sunday it really came to a head. The Sunday before this they missed Priesthood and Sunday School because they couldn’t get up or so he said. So last week after talking to President I had a long talk in which he made a few commitments to me and I felt some progress would be made. Things worked well for a while until Sunday when Elder Casey tried to get him out of bed for Priesthood. Well tempers flew and it was problems again.
The Elders stayed at the Church between Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting and it was quite a sad situation. So Sunday evening it was back to counseling.
First I talked with Elder Casey. For an hour he explained to me all the hard things that were going on. I sure do love him. When he says it’s hard then it really is because he has more patience than about anyone. I really couldn’t help him out except be a good listener. I did give him one little suggestion but he just needed to talk it over with someone. As the tears came I realized how very serious the whole situation was. We knelt and prayed together but that was about all I could do at the moment.
Then I found Elder Pillmann and started talking to him. First I explained to him how down and stepped on his companion felt. Well we talked for almost 1-1/2 hours. His feelings came out all the way. They both had their side of things and they both are very special – except that Elder Pillmann hasn’t learned how to give or except love yet. And this has been part of his problem.
During the entire time I was really praying to the Lord for help. With this whole situation I have been trying to apply D&C 121 on the use of the Priesthood. I have learned so much.
As I talked with Elder Pillmann I realized that the Priesthood needed to feel these feelings that he had although I knew that he knew anyway pretty well what was going on. Mission Presidents know those things. I really thought and felt that he had the authority and power to make some changes and get things in order a little so I told Elder Pillmann that and we went in today.
So today was the big day. We traveled out and we went to the office. First I talked with the President – for about ½ we talked over the things. Then Elder Pillmann went in. For 2 hours they talked things over. Then President Roylance called me in and Elder Pillmann told me 5 commitments that he had made and wanted me to help him. It was quite an experience for me to even be there. Afterwards we all 3 kneeled together and prayed. The President prayed and boy was I taking notes. It was neat.
This whole experience has been one of learning for me. In our little talk President Roylance told me how of all the problems of the Mission this particular one looked like a mountain on the horizon. With that I realize how much the Lord trusts me and how much he expects of me by putting me as the District Leader here. He really has given me a lot of responsibility. Just seeing how the President handled this situation has been a great teaching experience for me. To see the change that has been made is to me a testimony of the power of the priesthood.
I think of the day when maybe I will be called as a Mission President and I am very thankful for this learning experience that I have had. I thank the Lord to be a part of this work.
September 1, 1976
Today I would like to make a special entry that happened to us. We were waiting for a bus and a lady came up to us and just started staring at our tags. She was just really weird so the bus was there and I just said “gut nacht” and got in the bus. My companion didn’t know what to and as he was standing there the doors closed and left him. Boy there were some girls in the bus and I really didn’t think they noticed but when Elder Rogers got left they just started to laugh. They thought it was so funny that the old lady held him up. It was really weird but they knew immediately that something was wrong. Well anyway I got out at the next stop and started walking back when here came Elder Rogers and the lady in the next bus! It turns out that the lady felt so bad holding him up she offered to go with to help find him. Elder Rogers couldn’t speak enough or understand to communicate with her anyway so when they got out I had a good talk with her. She was really great. This was at 4:00. We made an appointment to come by later at 6:00 and she said fine. It was really great. We went by and taught her a C 1-3 and gave her a book of Mormon. She believes it all already. She’s Golden! I was really impressed. She can’t have us at her home again because her mother is sick but she will meet us Saturday at the Church. She is really neat. The first day of the month and the Lord sends me a Golden contact.
I was really touched by all that happened with Fran Schluess today but it also struck me real hard that I needed to really be humble. When she first saw us she came and stared at our tags and I just said “gut nacht.” What a terrible attitude. I should have stopped, even if it would have meant missing the bus, and talked to her. So many people do that and they yell and run off when they read Kirch but like Steven Covey says, “Don’t let the 95 teach you about the 5. There are those like Fran Schluess today who are of the 5%. It taught me a good lesson. I need to be a better Missionary with much humility.
September 3, 1976
Today was preparation day and also the Day of our personal interviews with President Roylance. It was a very special day. Elder Rogers and I talked about sports and ball all morning. I can’t wait to get back into the scene. I really love it.
Then this evening it was another talk with President Roylance. What a special experience that is. He is really a fine man. We talked a little about the District and things, The Situation with Elder Pillmann and all and then I talked to him about Richard.
I want to bad to help Richard into the Church. I really believe he knows it true deep down but it’s just really hard to get in and live up to it. We had a good talk about the whole situation and President Roylance gave me a few hints on what to do.
I really feel that it’s important that I do something now while I’m here on my Mission. When I get home I’ll be off to school or getting married and the chance will slip through my fingers. It’s really important.
I need to sit down and set some goals for myself for these last 8 months. It really will be too bad if I don’t get myself a plan. I need to do some thinking about it all.
Sunday September 5,
We had a discouraging or, disappointing I should say, day. First Frau Schluess didn’t make it to Church and then Wolfgang wasn’t home. It sure is a battle. A checker game as the president calls it. I sure do feel it. I am really being tempted. It’s been a tough day. My District was also down.
I feel empty inside.
September 6, 1976
I was up at 5:00. To have not gotten up would have been failure. I want to, if possible, express a few of my innermost feelings this morning and write down some goals and get the wheels in motion for a better me. A better man and most of all a better, more obedient, more faithful, Missionary.
The Lord has said, “Behold the field is white already to harvest.” I believe that and I believe right here in Othmarchen, my area, it also is true. The Lord has people right here that are waiting for the truth and he is waiting for the Missionary he can trust to come along so that he can send him by. People are known to the Lord. He knows who will join his church and who is of that Celestial class. Our calling is to seal up the testimony and find the elect of God! He has promised it to us. He says the blessings will come. His field is white. He will go before us. He doesn’t’ hold back. He wants to bless us. Then why doesn’t it happen?
The famous question – “What is wrong with me?” We compare ourselves all too often. “Why is he baptizing, and I’m not.”
“Am I not worthy?” “Is the Lord testing me?”
“What’s wrong?”
All these are feelings that I think we as Missionaries have at one time or another. I have never expressed these openly to anyone because I know pretty well the answer to each. But I would be untrue to myself if I didn’t write them down here and accept the fact that I am also often filled with these empty questions.
So after a realization of the problem or at least an acceptance of the feelings I can start building. First, I know the Lord loves all of his children equally. Second, I don’t believe he holds anything back as a testing. Because it’s hard now and we ain’t baptizing we are therefore being tested. I can’t accept that even in spite of or looking square in the face of the fact that other Missionaries who
don’t work as hard, who don’t know the discussions etc., etc. baptize. And you don’t. I still believe that he doesn’t hold anything back. I would accept the fact that he blesses and gives Elders success, or in other words uses Elders that may in our eyes seem not as diligent for his purposes, i.e. they baptize his choice children. This might be the test to see if we judge (which I am not doing as I write although it may seem so.) and therefore wonder about other achievements in comparison to this work. Although the Lord might bless some in spite of their efforts I don’t believe he holds back from any. I believe that as soon as any of us reach that place on the hill, pay that price, give that sacrifice, he will bless me and we will baptize. He will use as tools to bring children into his kingdom.
So – What is that Price?
What sacrifice, to have it happen?
This is a very good question, but I think a large share of the answer lies at the very bottom. As President Schwendiman used to put it. “What are the desires of my heart? What do I really want?” We have to go right to this bottom and ask ourselves – what do I really want? It’s really quite easy to define the “price we have to pay.” We can do that by looking at D&C 4. There it is, the things we have to do and the price we have to pay. I really feel that right down at the bottom of things next to that feeling “what is my true desire” there is another feeling that must be the answer to the question. “What is my true desire?”
This is also found in D&C 4 but it was also in a song that Elder Harrison and I wrote.
This song was written for our special Mission Conference that we had on the 24th of August. Let me write it here and come back to my point afterwards.
Behold the Field
Behold the field, Behold the field,
It stands in the hands of God. It stands in the hands of God.
The harvest yields, The harvest yields,
Joy to the sons of God. Joy to the sons of God.
Ye that embark Behold the field
In the service of God. …Behold the field
See that ye serve him, …Behold the field…
With your hand upon the iron rod!
Behold the field, Music by Elder Don Harris
It stands in the hands of God. Words by Elder Harrison & Rogers
The harvest yields,
Joy to the sons of God.
Thrust in your sickle,
Reap with your might.
Heart, mind, and wisdom,
For behold! His field is white.
…Faith, hope and charity,
Eyes on his glory…
His glory…
Behold the field,
It stands in the hands of God.
The harvest yields,
Joy to the sons of God.
This is my beautiful song and I really felt inspired when we were writing it. The second point I want to bring out is the part about, “Eyes on his glory.” As I was writing this song we were looking for a phrase to fit that little phrase and reading over D&C 4 again – where of course the entire song originates – I knew that that particular phrase had to be there.
It’s so important. Eyes single to the glory of God. We find this often in the scriptures. D&C 4 for one and another favorite of mine D&C 88:67, 68. This is so hard. Every time I pray as a companionship I say or ask that we can be tools in his hands for his glory. I am really conscience about “doing it for the Lord.” Maybe that’s part of my problem. I am very conscience because deep down I am still looking in some ways for J. Gunn’s glory? I hope not, I pray to God not. This is really very basic for all of us. What are the true desires of my heart? Do I really want to serve God? For whose glory? Am I looking for numbers to be great in the eyes of men?
I didn’t think so. It’s a struggle. A real battle with self, but I have committed myself to the Lord and I want my whole service to be for him. Eyes on his glory. For the right reasons. I am working, learning, growing.
Oh, so easily said or written down, eyes on his glory, but so hard to really do. Which brings us to the next and most important process.
I have first recognized the problem, defined it and then stated what it is we have to do and the reasons behind it. Now comes a big question. The most important thing. I think we all realize to a certain extent the things that I have talked about up until now. The question is now and this is my point. “Why –
Why don’t we reach these goals and do these things.”
The answer I believe is called growth and or progression. It involves a
great deal the process of Repentance. I believe I have to repent of many things. Probably most important – laziness and procrastination. After we have realized the problem and defined the steps (our goals) to overcome the problem we start out doing it. We build, either on the sand or on solid ground – but we build. And sometimes, almost too often, we compromise with ourselves. We are lazy, things happen which discourage us, we procrastinate, and somehow we end up with the front part of the house on rock and the back part on sand.
Steven Covey calls it overcoming habits. Doing things right. He says many of us make commitments with ourselves and then break them. Pretty soon we have a habit of breaking commitments. Well this is the same with not living up. Letting laziness and procrastination set in.
It's just a struggle. A constant battle. So as to the question “Why don’t we reach the goals?” In my opinion it’s a matter of work, honesty with ourselves, and overcoming weakness.
We need to really work. Put in our whole heart, might and strength. We need to be honest to ask ourselves questions. For example: I am asking for baptism but have I really done all I can first – have learned perfectly the discussions, can I teach in German? Etc., etc. The last things of course overcome the weakness of laziness, of procrastination, or faithlessness.
In essence a bending of our will to that of our Father’s. I could go on for pages of the how and details but D&C 4 does just as good. It answers the question “Why we don’t baptize and reach goals” – simple by saying we don’t measure up. In all honesty we haven’t paid the Price.
So here I am. Where do I start?
Last night I really did some thinking just trying to figure out. Where am I? What do I need to do?
It’s a beautiful process, this process of self-evaluation. It involves a great deal of work, complete honesty with oneself, and the humility to throw off the bad, repent, and get back on the path he wants to be. After meditating a little last night I realized many areas where I need to work.
I am right at a very special point in my Mission. I am 2/3 of the way now, with only 8 short months left. After that special Mission Conference I committed to myself to reach the goals I set for myself this year. That includes 7 baptisms by January. The year is also 2/3 over so I am sitting at a very special time right now. My time is short, oh so short. As the President talks I know the feelings and I want to have the kind of experience he had when he was here. I have had most but this area of baptism is lacking for me. I know it will happen.
In view of these things I want to review and set some goals that will lead and guide me for the next eight months. I just quickly reviewed my goals which I set at January and to these goals I am adding or better defining a few more. Here’s what I want to do.
I want to keep all former goals.
Develop a study program for the scriptures.
Develop an exercise program.
Relearn where necessary and review the discussions.
Work on German grammar.
Devote myself more fully to the work.
Baptize the people who are waiting for me.
Here’s a list of targets for the next eight months.
Finish Jesus the Christ, read B of M 2 and other scriptures 1 more each before going home. ½ hour minimum daily scripture study.
Develop and follow daily exercise program including 3 sets of 20 each push-ups and 2 sets of 25 or more each sit-ups DAILY.
Relearn and review all discussions. ½ hour daily discussion study!
Go through Cochran’s once completely.
Let virtue garnish my thoughts unceasingly.
Strive to use every precious moment of time to its fullest. Through good planning, through hard work, and a keen sense of my calling.
Develop the Spirituality and Faith through hard work and prayer to be worthy and capable of all my goals. To Baptize!
In the Bible Christ asks through a parable how many of us are really willing to put forth the effort to accomplish what we set out to do. The parable of the man who builds a tower but doesn’t have enough money to finish. In setting these targets I am committing myself to building a tower and I better have planned it out well enough and have the desire bad enough to accomplish these things. I am setting these goals in faith and I know the Lord will bless me. I know I will reach them.
This has probably been the longest entry in my entire Diary but it is a good one and a well thought out set of feelings that I have. It has taken me a couple of days to get it all down but it is very good I feel.
I love this work, I love my Mission and I am so happy for the opportunity my Mission has given me. I pray for the Lords help to make this last 8 months what it should be!
September 7
We are really teaching a lot of people at this time. Yesterday we had a real discouragement and a real neat experience. I guess first the bad. I called up Fran Schluess on the telephone and she was just really negative. I couldn’t believe it. She left the church house so happy Saturday as we talked to her. She was supposed to come to Church Sunday but didn’t show so I called her up to see what the problem was. She said she had no time “fur so was!” She said she bring the book back. It was just really bad. I asked to see if I could see her again and she said no. I don’t know what happened but I sure felt bad.
Frau Temme sure was good yesterday when we talked to her. She is really believing and after we showed her a few scriptures from the Bible she was really impressed. I sure like her. We reassured her that we had what she was looking for. It was a neat discussion.
Tonight we visited Moellers. They are a really neat family. I really like them. We have an appointment with them next week for a C. They were first met and taught by Paul McMullin. He was a pretty good Elder they said. I have heard a lot about him. He’s a good man.
September 8, 1976
Today we had a long day. We taught 2 more discussions today. One to a Pastorin and her mom and one to Paplow. They were both good but hard discussions. I don’t know sometimes. Sometimes people are blind. They really are. I pray for the strength and Spirit to open their eyes!
Let me be a light. I want to be a light in thy hands!
September 10, 1976
My head hangs a little tonight. It hangs in sadness, disappointment, and grief for a beautiful family. Tonight we had an “abschiede” (this is German for a “break it off” meeting) discussion with Schmittger’s. They are so special it just breaks my heart. I love them so much. She is pregnant, will have it next week, and looks so beautiful I can’t describe it. She is very lovely pregnant. He is so neat also. It just breaks my heart. Tonight we taught them one last discussion before the baby comes. We reviewed all that we had taught them and then went on with D. We taught them D 1-4 ending with the fact that they should live together as a family. It was so good, but he said it wasn’t any different from his religion! We tried to talk about Authority, one Church, and the Lord’s complete blessings. He understood but couldn’t believe it. I poured my heart out to them. I really did. Silently I prayed, I bore testimony, and I gave them all I had. He was really appreciative but still could see any difference. I was then led by the Spirit to ask him some soul searching questions about prayer. He has never really committed in prayer yet. After talking and explaining a few things I think he realized it a little better. He bought a New Testament and will keep his B of M so I hope and pray he will come to the truth. As we left I left a prayer in this home. I poured my heart out to the Lord and told him how weak we were, that we couldn’t even explain his message good enough for Herr Schmittger to see the importance. Well I also left a blessing on them and their home. I poured my heart out to the Lord and sure gave it to this family tonight.
It’s hard, it’s so hard. As I walked out my eyes were moist because of my love for them and maybe because he wouldn’t humble himself just that little bit more to want threes blessings. But I will never give up. Even with my heart so low and my Spirit so drained I asked a G.Q. on the way to the Bahn. Some young guy that we’ll visit next week was the result! I’m working my heart out and I know the Lord will bless me. We will accomplish what we are here to do!
This week I finally got some mail from home. I got a letter and a tape from Mom and a good letter from Mitzie. It’s about time. It sure has been a dry spell for letters this month. The support I feel from home is really important. They sure do support me. Today Mitzie sent me a good letter. She really is an angel. I really miss her a lot and I have good, very good feelings for her – she and I in the future. I really love her. Well she sent me some notes from a fireside that she had just gone to where Jay Andrus spoke. I think the world of Jay. After working with him in the store, seeing him work at school, and playing ball with/for him, etc. I just really know him well. He is my ideal of a man. A hero for me.
Jay gave a good talk, and Mitzie sent some notes to me.
One part was on understanding yourself and changing yourself.
Here is a list of self questions.
What is my source of happiness?
Am I serving others?
Do I know Christ?
Do I have a genuine love of Christ?
Do I improve?
Is the Holy Ghost operative in my life?
Am I enthusiastic of hard work?
Do I wake up tickled to death?
Would I enjoy being around myself?
Would I give my life for Christ’s Church?
The #1 thing we must have is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and believe that we can be perfect. We must (1) improve (2) share and (3) be ourselves. It was a great talk and I thank Mitzie for sharing it with me.
September 11, 1976
This morning I had a wonderful experience. It was Grandpa Snow’s birthday yesterday and I wanted to give him something but I really didn’t know what. Well I debated and debated with myself but finally decided to call him. So early this morning which is still the night of September 10 back in America I called him. The first time they weren’t there so I called a half an hour later 6:30 or 11:30 their time and he and Grandma were just getting home from my house where they had been to a little party for him.
It was so neat to talk to him. I really think the world of my Grandparents and love them like my own. My Grandfather has played a bit role in my life. Whenever I needed something, he was there. In those early years when I needed a father he was there and just the love and support they have given me through the years. I love them with all my heart.
Grandpa and Grandma Snow have really been examples to me of what life is all about. In the early days getting their store going and all I just know how hard it was. They tell me stories and I’m amazed. I spent a lot of time over there before my Mission because I know that a lot can happen in two years. I pray with all my heart to be able to see them again before they are called. I love them so much and I am so glad that I called them. Just to talk with them and be close with them for a few minutes is worth more to me and to them than anything earthly. I really enjoyed it.
As I talked this morning Grandpa called me “son” 2 or 3 times. That really impressed me. I was really touched me. It was Grandpa that ordained me to the Priesthood. First the offices of Aaronic and then almost 2 years ago now to the office of Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. That means so much to be called his son. That is the highest title I could ever ask for in life. I love him so much. I look forward to the eternities where I know that I will be truly his son forever. I feel somewhere that that has an important meaning for me and I can’t really express it. But I do know what I feel and I thank God for it and my Grandparents!
September 12, 1976
Yesterday was also our Tag der Offenen Tur (Open House) at the geminde. It went real well. We didn’t have as many people there as we should have but it went pretty well. The members wished that there would have been a couple of other untersuchers (investigators) but they themselves didn’t bring one. Elder Rogers and I had 5 investigators there and Elder Ruston from Hasburg had 3 and that was it. I really couldn’t believe it. Oh well, par for the course.
Today after eating at Frickes (which was and probably always be a circus) we went on the work. We visited Fran or Sister Temme. We started just to give her an E but ended giving F 1-3. She was really glad to see us. She is good. We made an appointment as we left to come back on Tuesday and go through D. Including a Evangalish Pamphlet she gave me to read. We’ll see what happens but I think she is good.
September 13, 1976
Today is Elder Roger’s first 1 month in Germany. I really can’t believe we’ve been together a month. We have done some great work this past month. He is a great companion. I really think the world of him. I hope to be a better companion to him and love him better.
Today we taught Hildego. He is from Ecuador. A great kid. Very smart. I think he is great. We are going back. Friday. It looks good.
September 14, 1976
My heart if really full today as I try to describe some of the feelings I have felt today. First I talk about the District. Elder Casey is getting transferred tomorrow so today we took a little time off and went up the Fernsehen Turm again for Kuchen Elder Rogers and Elder Pillman each had 13 stucke. I couldn’t believe it. We had a good little get-together. It was great. We have the neatest District. I am really pleased and tickled with the progress we have all made. Now for the good part.
September 14, 1976
The neatest thing that happened today was our discussion with Sister Temme. It was so special. I told Elder Rogers that today had to be good because it was the problem that was holding her back.
She had a pamphlet put out by someone I’m not sure who that came down hard on the immortality of the soul. By mixing up some Bible scriptures that were not very well in context it tried to show that this doctrine was not what the Bible said. Whoever wrote it was pretty smart but was truly an angel of the Devil. They didn’t use all the scriptures in the Bible and surely didn’t understand the plan of Salvation.
Well this teaching was really bothering Sister Temme. Her husband died 5 years ago and with this uncomforting doctrine she could find no peace and was really mad at the whole world. It was really in the middle of her religious worries. Well she told me to take the pamphlet and study it, which I did. And Tues. after preparing quite well for it we taught her a “D” discussion.
The Spirit was there. We had a little diagram of the Plan of Salvation. Something that she could visualize. We talked through all the steps. Read and reread key scriptures from the Bible and then at the very end showed her “Suche” (Man’s Search for Happiness). She was really touched. She looked at us and said, ‘I knew that all along. I never did really believe that pamphlet.’
I never have seen a person change so much in one discussion as she did. I have seen people like Schopp’s change from laughing at the word church when we first meet them to kneeling in prayer with us but that was over a long period of time. I was really impressed by the change
Schwester Temme made tonight. The Spirit of God, the power of the Holy Ghost really does change people. I am a witness to that.
She was able to recognize the truth tonight because she is a child of God from Ephraim. Able to recognize the truth. We have asked the Lord to bless us with a baptism and I feel that she is ready. My heart is full. It is such a beautiful experience for me. I am very thankful, amazed, and humbled tonight. I praise God!
September 15, 1976
Another very productive day. This morning we took Elder Casey to the train station bright and early came back with Elder Pillmann and the 3 of us were here for quite awhile. Elder Rogers and I prepared for our school presentation while Elder Pillmann caught bees. He really has a hard time settling down to anything.
At 11:30 we went to a Gymnasium here in our area. That’s like a high school for the advance placement students. A Herr Pfluger was the teacher. He is really a nerd. I couldn’t really believe it. He was supposed to have a projector and everything ready for us. He didn’t. I was a little ticked off at his attitude towards the whole thing. When we first met him through our friend Uwe Somel he didn’t say much and thought very hard about what we said. I took him to be a very smart man with lots on the ball. Now after working with him I realize what he really is and I’m sorry to say this but he is really quite dense. I listened a couple of minutes to his class and I realize what a joke it really is. Well we needed the projector real bad so we ran down to the office (about 3 blocks) and picked up one of our own.
The Vortrag itself went pretty good. There were a few smarties in the class but we were able to handle them pretty good. I thought we would have too much time but it turned out we didn’t have enough. So with a little pulling of strings we managed to get another appointment. So will be back there next week. It went pretty good. We will have some good kids to teach after next week.
We also taught Mullers tonight. They are a little “profy” but very good. They sure like me and I really think we could get them in the water with some extra work and fasting and prayers. I really love them a lot.
September 16, 1976
We had the Ausstellung this morning. Despite the rain it went real well. I think we got 6 addresses this morning. The rest of the day wasn’t too good. Two appointments fell out. We went to Sister Temme’s and she wasn’t there so went to Palm’s. She told us Tschuss so we went back to Temmes and she was there. We taught her some of F and invited her to the baptism Saturday.
September 17, 1976
Today was preparation day. We got haircuts this morning. I sure do look different. I also cashed a check yesterday. With it I bought some shoes, paid my phone bill, and bought books of Mormon and food. It felt good not to be in debt. It was a pretty good day except I didn’t get many letters written as usual.
Well today we went to Guesers. I really love that family but it just breaks my heart sometimes to see the situation that has developed. Petra, the daughter moved out to somewhere in the housing development. She has been spreading stones around about her parents and her mother, Frau Gueser, talks of her as if it were a mean neighbor or something. The family ties don’t mean a thing. It’s so bad I really can’t believe it. Frau Gueser has the mind of a 10 year old anyway and it is all she can do to even cope let alone understand or be loving. I feel so bad about the situation. It breaks my heart, and makes me appreciate my own family ties so much better. It’s not just her, Herr Gueser told how he went to his father’s house before he died and as Abendbrot was served they didn’t serve him. They were both just too proud. I can’t believe it. He said he about didn’t go to his funeral. That is the story all over. People too selfish, too proud, to reach out and help someone, even their own family. I think of the scripture turning the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to the fathers and I see now what it means.
The need for love in the world is great. There is no true love. Tonight after Guesers we went to Hildego’s for a few minutes. He is our friend from South America. He asked us all types of questions about God, repentance, forgiveness and punishment. Then he talked about sex and it’s obvious that he has a moral problem. He really likes the girls and from what I’ve seen of the girls here there is no problem jumping into bed with them. It’s a lack of love. Lust and physical desire but oh such a lack of love. These people need the gospel so bad. It breaks my heart to see people like this but that the way it is. We really have a calling in this “mission of love among our brethren.” I pray to God for his help.
September 20, 1976
I want to try and describe the battle that we are going through, if I can. It has to do with the worth of a Soul, or better put the salvation of a Soul. We met and have taught Sister Temme in the last few weeks. Saturday through a lot of persuasion and the Spirit of the Lord and our Faith we were able to get her to the Baptism we had invited her to. That was quite an experience in itself. She was suppose to be home Saturday and we were suppose to call her at 2:30 and pick her up at 3:00. Well we called but she didn’t answer, she wasn’t home. I was nervous but we decided to go pick her up anyway. We really had faith. We never doubted. We got to her house at 3:00 and she had just gotten home. We talked to her and she surely didn’t want to go but I told the Lord would bless her for it and she finally came. That in itself was a testimony. It was a great Baptismal Service.
Today we fasted for her. The whole district did. Elder Kettner and I were austausded and we went by tonight. For some reason she had read the wrong part in the Book of Mormon. She had read some part about the curse or something. She was for that reason not prepared for the lesson.
We had a good discussion. Elder Kettner and I laid out all the simple truths of the Gospel very clearly and she could also understand it. But when it came down to putting it all together she couldn’t see past the end of her nose. We had fasted and prayed and then to have her not understand our message, when she realized that the individual facts leading up to the message are true, was quite a blow. I had tears in my eyes as I tried to explain to her how important it was. She is searching for the truth. She can understand that there was an Apostasy and that these things are necessary but she can’t believe our whole message. Her intelligence says it can be true but her heart won’t let her believe it. Oh, it’s such a battle. Oh, that I were an Angel. Well, I don’t know where to turn except to more prayer about it. It’s a real struggle but we’ll get her in the water somehow. I’ll fight to the end.
September 25, 1976
It’s been quite a week. A lot of things have happened this week. I guess one of the neatest things is that we’re able to reach our goal that we set for the week. A goal of 70 hours and 15 discussions. That was really a faith-promoting experience. We worked long and hard enough that we knew we could get the 70 hours. That came just from hard work. But the next thing was being able to teach so many discussions. We had about 7 or 8 scheduled and 4 of those fall out so the rest of the week just worked to get. On Friday evening we had 12 and we needed 3 more. Well on the way home we gq’d a man and were able to teach him Saturday morning. Then we were able to teach a GQ of mine from the Ausstellung, a guy and his girlfriend and then Sister Temme for 15 discussions. It was neat to reach our goal.
We reached our goal but our people didn’t come along. I can’t figure that out. How we can work our guts out and try to set high goals so we can teach people and bring them into the church and then reach the goals but have the people so bad. The last 5 discussions we taught were terrible. Especially Sister Temme. We were really discouraged tonight from her attitude. She hadn’t read she hadn’t done anything and was very defensive of everything we said. We could hardly even talk to her. We left her house last night pretty down in the dumps. Its got to come from her now. She’s got to read and it’s got to come from her. It’s disappointing – it really is.
September 26, 1976
Today I have been in Germany 15 months and on my Mission 17. It’s so funny to think I only have 7 left. I know it will go fast too. Tonight we helped an American from the Navy by the name of Russel Pendergross. He is a convert and really a great guy. We brought him home from Church and fed him and just really had a good talk with him. He’s going to work Tuesday with us. 7 more months. I can’t believe it. I’ll be home before I know it. Tcha.
September 30, 1976
The end of the month. I wonder where it went. My feelings are quite mixed as I try to write a few words tonight. We didn’t reach our goal – to baptize in September. Its disappointing, it really is. I don’t know where to start in expressing myself, but I know this – I tried. Oh, I tried. We had probably the best month ever this month. The most hours, the most discussions, everything. I don’t know if I have had a better month. I just can’t seem to be worthy enough or something to get someone in the water. I don’t know what’s wrong, I really don’t. I know I need to be led by the Spirit better and be closer to the Lord in my prayers, that is the best place to start. God help me.
October 1, 1976
I had a good talk today with President Roylance. We went in for our weekly shower and he was there and had a few minutes so I talked with him. I told him how I felt about not reaching our goal. About how I have worked a whole year and never baptized anyone. I told him how I knew there were a lot of things I could improve on but that I felt that things were pretty well in order. We had a good talk. I realize that there are a lot of things that I need to do better and I am striving in these areas.
But President Roylance told me some things that really touched me. First of all he said that no supreme effort goes unnoticed. The Lord takes good looks. He said that the Lord has his own pay scale. He requires all the faith we have before we are able to receive his pay. All the faith we have! Sometimes it comes soon or later but we pay out the nose for it, said President Roylance. We are in the big leagues now. We sometimes have to be like Moses. Have done all we can, and be backed up to the Red Sea with the Egyptians on our backs. Then and only then can the Lord take over. President Roylance told me that my feelings were in the right place. He said that the Lord will recognize our efforts and that sometimes a 30 day pay scale is not what he wants. He told me to keep after it and the blessing will come. I believe that too. It was tough missing our goal, but we’ll keep working – hard.
October 5, 1976
Tcha! It seems I never take the time to write my feelings. Sunday the 3rd we were able to attend General Conference by way of a transmission from Salt Lake. It was a beautiful experience. Many of the talks touched me, but I can’t think of any in particular at this moment. It was a special experience for me. It always is. That was 3 or 4 that I will hear here in Germany. My time is really flying by.
Yesterday was a very good day. We’ve moved out to Blankenese to work now. We have started to tract out there and center our work there so to speak. Well yesterday we started with a family questioner. It worked pretty good and we were able to make 5 first contacts yesterday. It was really good. Today we went out with the same idea and tracted and asked G.Q’s for about 7 houses and only got 2 addresses. It was tough!
But tonight there is really a beautiful feeling in me. I have come to realize that lately in my prayers I haven’t been getting through. Joseph Smith says that in order to lead a soul back to heaven we must commune with God! This is so important. It might also be one of the important factors why things haven’t been coming as good for me as I’d like them to. Well last night I really poured out my heart to the Lord and did a better job. Today we had a tough but I just felt it was tough because we were working hard and the Adversary knew that and wanted to discourage us. It was a great day. Tonight I have the beautiful feelings that come from a job well done.
I realize too, how important it is to pray always and commune with God. This is an area that for me personally needs improving. I am really going to pray for Sister Temme. She is such a neat lady. I just know the gospel is meant for her. I really want her to have these blessings also. I’ll be praying hard for her.
I am also in the process of writing a special letter to my Parents for their birthdays. It was surely a good day. Today was Mom’s birthday!
October 6, 1976
Another great day! We didn’t seem to get too much work done this morning but this afternoon we sure worked hard. This morning we had hamburgers for District Meeting at Elders Pillmann and Kettner’s apartment. It went pretty good. I still feel sometimes that our District Meetings lack a lot. I have a long way to go to be the leader I should but I also know there is a lot of special situations in our District. I feel basically good about it. I just want to do better.
After the meeting it was raining. We worked on our Auestellung here at home for a while as we listened to Devery’s tape. He sent me a tape on all the activities that he was doing. It was great. Dev said Susi dumped him after two years of waiting which about did him in he said, but that in the mean time he has found himself another little toots too marry. Her name is Shelly Hill from Bountiful but she is only 17 so they have time. She still has to finish her High School and a year of college before they get married but he is serious about her so that’s what counts. His voice sure was different. I’ll have to make him a tape and give him my scoop.
This afternoon I also took time to finish my letter I started yesterday to my parents. It was a very special letter because in it I expressed my feelings and thanks to my parents and also come right out and asked Richard about the church. Actually I explained to him that it would be the greatest blessing of my life to have him standing next to me as I got married in the Temple. I know that sometimes our true feelings have to come right out. That’s what I did in my letter. It was so special. I pray that the Lord will touch Rich and that he will receive the desire to gain a better testimony and take the steps necessary for a temple marriage. What a day that would be for me.
We worked hard this evening. We tracted and taught 2 discussions. The first discussion was a Frau Meuer and she seemed very impressed. We can’t come back for 2 weeks but she will have read in the mean time. I can’t wait. The second one was the Millers. We talked about the Book of Mormon. It was also neat. They are a great family. Oh I pray they will be touched to come into the fold!
October 7, 1976
We worked our tails off today. It paid off too. We tracted 4 hours this morning. It proved to be very fruitful. We met the neatest lady today. She was only in a house robe – but let us in anyway. She was with her two little boys Oliver 8 and Philip 5 so it was okay for us to stay a minute. She was really neat. We talked about the church and about the F.H.E. program. It was a neat experience. The Lord really blessed me. I sure think a lot of neat families. She could feel our Spirit more than anything else. It was neat.
We also taught Punger’s again today. They sure are a good family. He is a little skeptical but she is really neat. She was able to understand all we tell her. We taught a D discussion. It went well. They a young couple. I really think a lot of them. They gave us Jasmin Tea. It wasn’t very good I didn’t think. It was a neat discussion. I feel so blessed. We are really doing a good job I feel and the Lord is truly blessing us. I felt really inspired in my teaching. It’s great. I thank the Lord.
October 8, 1976
Today was supposed to be our Preparation Day when we would get everything done and all these letters written. That is until Sister Maples called this morning. They needed some help, so we answered the call. They were supposed to Tausch with Sister Kunert and another girl in the ward. Well they needed us there because the other girl wasn’t a set apart Missionary. They were to teach Anke Todt today. We taught her the 4 principles of the Gospel. It was a good discussion. Tonight I went with Brother Pawlowski and Brother Hanson to Wilhelmsburg for Filmabend. We went under the Elb tunnel then across the Sky Bridge to Harburg. It was really cool. I’d like to come back here after my Mission and tour with a car. It’s really cool.
Today Sister Young and I had a special little talk. She received a letter from her (lover) Elder Brunner runner now in the Army. We had a good talk, though. She’s cool.
October 9, 1976
Because yesterday was so fouled up we took a couple of hours off to write letters. Then it was out on the road again. We were working on our Austelling this morning. It was pretty tough but we did find one Golden contact. Made a Temin for Monday Evening. He looked real good.
Then this afternoon we visited Sister Schult. We stayed a couple of hours there and then gave her a blessing before we left. She hasn’t been feeling to well lately. High blood pressure. We blessed her that through her faith she will feel better and receive her health again. I sealed the blessing and for the first time it just really flowed in German. Last time when I blessed Sister Paplow I was shaking. I felt the Spirit and the words came okay but I was still quite nervous. Today the Spirit was there and I strived to feel him and say the right things. I really felt good about be able to serve Sister Schult. It humbles me to think about the power of the Priesthood.
After Sister Schult we came home and had a chance to talk a little with Frau Rumpf before we left. She is a very special lady. She was telling us today how she receives thoughts from somewhere and how her conscience leads her. It’s so true what the scriptures say but she can’t understand it. She is a good lady though and she is going to be a long way ahead of a lot of people in the next life. She’s got a head on her shoulders.
Tonight we had a great experience. We went by Behns again to make an appointment for the F.H.E. we want to show them. They are so neat! I love that family so much already. She could really feel the Spirit. We talked a little about the church – well quite a lot and we gave them a Book of Mormon and the Joseph Smith story. They want to read the Book and they asked us about visiting the Church and everything. They are so neat. Golden. I really want to bring this family the Gospel. They have two kids. This might be the family I am looking for. I sure pray and believe it is. It was a special experience to be there.
A neat day!!