July 1, 1976
Most people in the Church view new callings as a challenge an opportunity to serve, and an opportunity to get to know the Lord better by relying upon his guidance. These are at least my feelings anyway. I traveled alone today from Wilhelmshaven to Hamburg. It was a funny feeling. I had to umsteig in Bremen and since it wasn’t that big of a deal I didn’t even call the Zone Leaders in Bremen. I just did it myself. As the miles passed by I prayed and prayed for the Lord’s help and guidance. By the time I reached Hamburg I felt like a new man, ready to take on the responsibilities of a District Leader.
Upon arriving we took my belongings home and went straight to the Airport. The new Mission President, President Roglence and his family were flying in. What a special experience. First of all, come the big reunion with a lot of the Elders I know from the Choir and Berlin days. Elder Reichman, Hill, Whitlock etc. It was really a neat experience seeing them all again.
Finally his Plane landed and the whole atmosphere changed. They were brought up to the check-in point and of course we couldn’t even see them. The Mission had rented the V.I.P. room in the Airport and all the Missionaries from both Zones were there. As the President and his family came into the room we sang Come, Come, Ye Saints. The Spirit was so strong. I had tears in my eyes to see this beautiful family. Two older boys, and five girls after that. It was so special. The two littlest girls were holding hands and they all had a rose in their hands. Sister Roylance is pregnant and she looked over at her husband and it was hard for them both to control their emotions. To realize the sacrifice they are making as they come here is to realize the ways of the Lord. I was so touched at that scene. They were all tired from the flight, so after the President met us all he and the family left. It was an experience I will never forget. I think about the day I can bring my wife and children back to Germany in the capacity of a Mission President. I sure was touched today.
July 4, 1976
Today on the 200th Anniversary of this great nation I feel proud and very, very blessed to be an American. It was my first Sunday in the Alton, Geminide. They talked a lot about America and how it helped and was of course necessary for the restoration of the Gospel. It was my first day at church. We meet in a great big white Mansion that was built in the 1890’s and then in 1958 dedicated after a renovation by President Romney as a chapel of the Lord. I really love it. The members are like most Germans, a little different but I really think a lot of them also. It was a great day. After Church we ate with Bro. Picklapp. He is a lonely man, divorce, who really enjoys the company of the Missionaries. He wrote and writes poetry. A great guy. Tonight we also had our first District Meeting.
July 5, 1976
Yesterday wasn’t much of a 4th of July. I remember so well the last one I had at home. This will be my last away from home but I’m sure it was a big festival back home. We had good things planned though. First we met and played baseball at the Staltpark. That was a lot of fun. I really like to play ball. I couldn’t do anything until the last inning when I finally connected and powdered a triple over the left fielders head.
After playing, and some good homemade Rootbeer (provided by Elder Harrison and I) we traveled to Wartenes for a special program. We sang songs, heard talks, and special music numbers all on America. The Spirit was there. I don’t think we could have had a better Program in America. The feelings of so many Missionaries so far away from home, expressed towards their homeland and heritage. I just don’t think it could have been better. It sure was special. We have a lot of Talent in this Mission. We really do. I was impressed. My own heart is full as I think about the many blessings I have as an American, and I particularly very grateful for the heritage I enjoy as a Mormon.
July 9, 1976
This morning we attended a special Conference at Wartenau. President Rolaynce wants to meet all the Missionaries before the big transfer next week. He is so great. He met all of us so he would be open to any revelation that could possibly come for this transfer.
The Conference was special. Both the Assistants talked, which by the way were way good, and came President Rolaynce. I sat in awe for over an hour. I just couldn’t believe the words he told us. Many things, many feelings I have felt for a long time which touched upon in his talk. I was touched by the Spirit. Needless to say I was impressed by him.
Later in the Day I had a personal interview with him. It was also great. For some reason he and I understand each other very fast and very easily. To me that was a testimony right there of his Spirit and calling. He told me a lot of things. The most important I guess is that he liked my Spirit, and felt that I knew what he was talking about and could go out and do it. We had a good talk. Tonight as I think about it, I am very impressed and humbled. It will be the beginning of a New Era for me. A special day.
July 11, 1976
Here it is my second Sunday already in Altona. Time is really flying. We at at the Bishops house between meetings. I had a talk. I came home and we only had an hour to go before church. Consequently I rewrote a talk I had given at Wilhelmshaven. As we went to Church everything was fine until the President and his family and the Assistants came in. Then I got scared. I gave the talk but it wasn’t very well written or the type that makes for good thought flow. It wasn’t as good as I would have liked it. I talked to Elder Brinton after and he didn’t say much, but the President did come up and say he liked. The German wasn’t bad it just wasn’t very well put together. Well, it was another learning experience. We also had a District Meeting tonight. I learned something tonight about people. I learned something about my District. I wanted to study the Discussions in District Meetings like we used to do in Spandau. I put it forth to my District Members and the whole mood changed. We used to do in Spandau and it really helped. I know it helped me but they felt like they didn’t want to study in District Meeting because as it were “we study them enough”. It was weird. Judging from the reports there isn’t one Missionary among us that is doing very well in this area. It’s funny, because they don’t realize how it could help them but they felt it would be a waste of time in D. M. As I sat there I felt deeper feelings and I knew exactly what was going on, because I’ve been there. If you don’t feel good about something you aren’t as ready to study it together with other people. It was a weird feeling but I said okay we won’t, and I guess we’ll stay in our rut. People are funny. I have more to comment on this subject, but I’ll let it pass.
July 17, 1976
Today started out so well but sort of went down hill after that. No companion study, getting out late. Its just been a battle getting things done around here. We have different views sometimes of what’s important and what’s not important. To me a lot of things are wrong. We aren’t “Meeting enough People” for me thing and we spend too much time waiting for buses. This next week I want to work on these things a little better.
Tonight we came home a little early and watched the Olympics Opening for Montreal. It was really neat. All the countries coming in and all. It was really great. I loved when the girl and guy came running in together with the torch. They ran so beautifully together. It was so neat. She was so cool. I love sports and especially girls that can run easily like she could. That was by far the neatest thing – just to see them run in together. It was neat to see the Opening. I sure did catch the Olympic Spirit. That’s for sure.
July 20, 1976
Today Elder Harrison and I were riding today in a Streetcar (just like in San Francisco). Well anyway we were right behind this couple. They looked kind of funny but we weren’t too interested as they kissed each other and stuff. Finally they got out at a stop – they were both girls. I couldn’t believe it. It almost made me sick. They got out and walked down the street holding hands. It was terrible. Now maybe I shouldn’t have even written this but the things we see and experience in a city like this are hard to believe. Some people are just so mixed up it would be scary to really know. Hamburg needs the Gospel, that’s for sure.
July 21, 1976
Today we were austauched with the Zone Leaders. I worked in my area with brother Geary. He is a great Elder. From Coalville Utah. We talked about sports and football a lot. It’s funny how you sometimes have the same interests with companions, and sometimes don’t. It’s hard for Elder Harrison and I to talk about football, he just doesn’t get into it. Well we had a real good day on the doors. H’s an Army guy. We’ll spend the next ten years in school and in the Army. W had a fine day together.
July 23, 1976
Another preparation day. We had so much to get done today and we just didn’t make it. I think I got 3 letters written. Then are about 10 more I need to write. We went over to the office this morning to grab a shower before our day started. Elder Reichman was there so we sat down and had a good little chat. We are thinking about taking a tour of Europe together with his parents next Spring before we leave. If my mother doesn’t make it here then I would surely like to do that with him. I wonder how serious my parents are about coming. Na, ja, time will tell. We had a good talk with Mr. Ampofo tonight. He’s black, from Africa.
July 24, 1976
Realizing that this is the 3rd 24th of July in a row that I have been in Europe I wonder if I will know what its like when I get home. Last year in Berlin we went to an American feast, when hamburgers and tacos really tickled my fancy. The summer before that I was here with the College Tour. On the 24th we were in Rome. The day of the bus workers strike.
Today wasn’t a very good day. I had a headache all day and finally towards evening I just couldn’t take the pain. It was really bad. The Olympics are playing every night. Every night we come home and watch with Frau Rumpf. I really love those sports. But I was dead tonight.
July 25, 1976
Today was another Sunday. We didn’t have time for anything. After Church it rained and we had to take a bus. What an experience. We could only take the closest one to the Church and it goes right through the Reeper, Bahn. I really couldn’t believe how bad it was there. It’s off limits to Missionaries and I can see why. It’s just like a carnival, or Las Vegas or something but it’s all Sex. Sex shows, theatres, the whole smash. I rode through on a bus and got sick. I know those people are really the scum of the earth. It’s a real pit, and I wonder what will happen to them on judgment day. I have seen it from a distance, and I hope and pray to be always as far away from that place as I can, and by God’s power I will.
July 27, 1976
Tonight was our America Abend at the Church. For a July 24 celebration I guess. We saw a film of America and then had food and etc. We as Missionaries sang a couple of songs for them. It didn’t go over too well but it wasn’t the worst thing either. We also made a big batch of Popcorn for them.
July 28, 1976
We taught the best family tonight! Schenettger’s again. Fantasitc! Future Members.
July 29, 1976
Right now my feelings are so messed up and torn apart I don’t know how to express myself and my scope on things. It’s been a long time since I have felt on schedule with my Missionary Life and since I’ve felt good about the work I’ve been doing. Not because we haven’t been working hard but because its become too mechanical, very unorganized, or a “what-do-we-do-next” attitude. A disillusioned picture of good missionary work. Part of the problem is I haven’t been getting up before 6:30 and I haven’t planned out my personal study. I call it getting my “Ducks in a Row” or “on schedule”. It just makes the day run smoother to be organized and knowing where you are going. Steven R. Covey calls it a ½ hr. planning, scripture study every day. It’s a great idea and I wish I could do it. It is so hard to do. It really is. I am going to start in the morning with a new start and plan. As a Missionary it seems like one would study the scriptures everyday, but I am always working on my discussions (which are also very bad) and German and it just doesn’t seem like I ever keep things up and get much done. I am making it my goal for the month of August to put these things in order. To study the scriptures everyday in the Spirit and develop my Spirituality. I feel so low in this area sometimes. My tank needs filling. At this time I feel the need for the Lord’s help so much. I really need to change and conform, putting myself better in position to receive his help.
I really love and appreciate my companion Elder Harrison. He is a very deep thinker and a very spiritually developed person, or at least he understands the concepts of the Gospel deeper than most people. This comes a lot I think from his mother and family. Very spiritually developed thinkers. This is where I feel sometimes I fall down. I learn things from other people but to do any deep Spiritual thinking on my own is out of my ball park at this time. I am a child in so many ways. My companion understands things that I haven’t even thought about before. I really look up to him. I have to really be humble. Lord help me.
July 31, 1976
I could write for a week and not express my feelings properly. I really have a lot inside me tonight. The most important is the feeling I have for my District. Right now they are really having troubles. Sister Lou Young who I have known for almost her duration is really having trouble. She has been sick and has really been unable to go on the work very well. That makes her feel even worse and it all adds up to one sad Missionary. We talked it over the other day and then today I called the President. We had a good talk and then he and she talked. It was decided that he should bless her at his home. The Mission Presidency was there and they would assist. I sure do love President Roylance. I hope I can grow to be the man he is. A man of God.
I think Sister Young will be feeling better and will realize the blessing as she applies her faith. She and Sister Maples get along so well. It’s so good for Sister Maples who has a hard time as it is. They are doing great now.
Monday of this week Elder Merrill was sent to Berlin and Elder Erich Pillmann from Vienna was transferred to Elder Casey in our District. Elder Casey is so special. Each of the Missionaries have their own special story. Anyway Elder Pillmann was first in the England Leeds Mission but was transferred to this Mission after 6 months. He has had a real hard Mission. He has a girlfriend in Berlin that he calls and writes all the time. He is a special Elder and needs all the love I can give him. I really feel the responsibility.
I really feel the President trusts me to send such good and special people to lead. We have a very fine District and I need to really rely upon the Lord’s help to be the kind of leader that this District needs. It’s humbling, I pray for help.
Tonight we saw as a District, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. That was really special. So much food for thought. I loved it. It means so much.
On the way home tonight I talked to young girl of 16 on the Balm. She was very beautiful and I was very touched. She laughed at me and couldn’t believe on God but it was tender for both of us. I really wished I could help her. She needed it so bad. She touched my heart – I wish I could help her.
Aug. 1, 1976
Today will be a special day when I can realize the things I have learned and put them into daily use. We had a tough day. A very hard day. This morning I wanted to pass out some invitations to an Open House we are going to have next month but they had a grammar failure in them. I wasn’t responsible but sort of sheepishly took the blame for all of us Americans. The day went just accordingly. Bro. Pawlowski had us do a little skit with him, which went okay. It was okay.
Tonight at District Meeting is where the important things took place. We got through a poorly planned meeting which started an hour late because Elders Pillmann and Casey were late. Anyway the meeting was lousy. There was no Spirit. At the end I tried to say something and apparently it didn’t come out very well. Elder Pillmann was against me and the feelings of the whole room were bad.
Afterwards talking to Elder Harrison I really got my eyes opened. He said that when I talk like I did that he doesn’t come out like I mean it and it sounds cocky. I try to give a Pep talk and they thing its me being cocky. I really appreciated his comments and love him. He sure helps me.
Needless to say I have really thought over what he said and I believe it to be true. I need to really be humble in all my strivings. I need to do more listening and less talking. I need to be ready to help but not suggest things every time. Sure maybe there are ways that I would do it but they need to learn that by example, not by my spoken suggestions. In working harder, listening better, talking less, and most important – be a humble Missionary. Humility is a hard quality to have. I have always had a problem in the area and that’s really to bad because I don’t have anything to be cocky about. I have a long way to go. I make it my goal to be a better, humbler Missionary. A broken heart and contrite Spirit.
Aug. 7, 1976
We have had a real good week. We tausched out with Elder Pillmann and Casey, Tuesday and Wednesday. It was pretty neat. I really learned a lot and I don’t really know if I was able to help them out too much but at least it worked out well. We had a couple of good days and were able to strengthen our District Ties a little better I think.
We have had a much better week than last week. We have taught several discussions and tonight we had a pretty good discussion with Schnittgus. We gave them the first the 3 leitgedankes of “I” talking about Christ. We learned one thing and that is that you can’t give a very good “I” without the foundation of a “D” first. It went good but could have been better. She is expecting in early September so we will see what happens.
Tonight coming home my companion Elder Harrison and I had another argument about the stupidest thing – the Sans path. We talk and argue about things like that all the time. Just stupid things. Well tonight we made some interesting comparisons and judgments on things. We had a very good talk and it went into deeper things. I find it hard to express.
We starting, and I told him the worst thing with communicating is attitude. He said it was our inability to express ourselves with words. I disagreed and said the attitude had to be right before we ever started with words. He agreed sort of but said as we talk we simplify and explain ourselves deeper until we both understand each others feelings – but that the words were the problem. I agreed that the biggest “physical” problem was words but too much of the time people won’t listen – they have a wrong attitude because they want to put their point across and be right; regardless of the others opinion. It was interesting that just as our two opinions differed we didn’t finally come to an agreement until he took time to listen to me and understand my opinion – and until I took time to do the same to him. It was very typical of people to see what we did. WE were talking about communication – but the whole time we weren’t communicating!! We proved a very important point. He later agreed to my point, by his own realization to a basic fact that he understood and took as granted the whole time. I of course tried to make my point, and could see his as a secondary point that I took as granted and well founded – if the first point was accepted. WE WERE SAYING THE SAME THING. Okay we were but we weren’t communicating because our attitudes were wrong – we didn’t try to understand the other one. And that of course was my argument. He later agreed You have to. The biggest problem in communication is an unwillingness to listen or an attitude of getting our two-bits in worth regardless of what the other is saying. The second problem is our inability to formulate our ideas with words. An inability to express ourselves with words – flimsy, abstract words.
These two concepts were agreed upon by both of us at the end of our very deep discussion.
1. An attitude of love and understanding is the most important prerequisite for good communication. This of course takes in being a good listener and trying to understand the other parties views.
2. The second thing we decided was that its hard to communicate because of the inability of words and language to point a pure true picture of an idea or opinion. We have to talk things over long enough until we both through semantics (the art of defining a word or concept) can really understand what the other is saying.
As we talked about things a picture came to my mind of how to make a diagram of communication and more expressly-discussion. As we talk with someone about a subject we both try to reach a point of absolute truth.
On a subject where there is absolute truth but no one really knows it we can only approach it to the best of our ability. On subjects where there can be no absolute truth we have to find and define what is truth or right for us. i.e. Opinions on things, feelings, personal situations and experiences etc.
So in order to make a physical example, which is usually easier for all of us to see in comparison to an idea, I should like to sketch this idea or example that popped into my head last night.
This is a good diagram because it gives a picture of something hard to explain. The canyon walls represent the path of our explored knowledge or ideas. We wind down our path of knowledge until we get closer and closer in our ideas – approaching the truth or in many instances the best way to define something Of course in some areas opinions only exist. That’s why the Basis of Opinion. We reach our desired opinion (dotted line) which still might be different then that of someone else. In the areas of revealed truth or absolute truth both parties have to eventually talk and discuss things until the bottom is reached. This also applies where the Lord reveals things to us. Eventually we can come to the very point of absolute truth.
This is an interesting diagram explaining an interesting theory. If you really want to learn then discuss a subject with someone who knows more about it than yourself. As he follows the path down you of course can pick a similar path on your side of the canyon. The idea being, if he is leading to some absolute truth you can also get there. This is just another way to decide learning.
There are some interesting side lights I learned out of this and in fact that’s why I came to this idea. As we travel deeper into the canyon we suddenly come to a point where we don’t know anymore or haven’t an opinion, because we haven’t thought about it that deeply before; anyway we reach this point and from then on its all new ground. As we discuss and learn from each other, something learned deeper can change the paths above! And what often happens, our opinions can often change right in the discussion. This is hard to explain but we see things closer and it changes our previously pondered opinions. I think in this area it requires a great deal of personal honesty to realize ones ideas on a subject were a little wrong. Being true to one’s self and realizing that the things we hold to be true can be a little off. It takes a humble man to learn and realize his path to truth might be a little off. This example shows it pretty well.
The whole idea here is to hold good discussions and explore canyons of the unknown. It has to be done with an open mind, searching for truth regardless of personal opinion or other outside presences. It’s a great concept though.
Aug. 10, 1976
Well a lot of things have happened in the last few days. Since all the members were in Dortmund over the weekend the Missionaries came together. We had a very special Priesthood and Sacrament meeting.
Elders Brinton, Rheam, and Stephens spoke. All three gave very good talks. Elder Stephens gave a very good talk on the word SILENCE. It was a very well written talk. I sure could work on putting my thoughts together better. I’ll work on it.
Monday the transfer came. I am to receive a Golden. Suddenly the whole situation seemed to change. I really can’t believe it. My companion is going to Wedel as a Senior companion. He will be opening up Wedel. That will be quite an experience for him. I’m excited.
Aug. 13, 1976
Well in just a few hours I will be picking up my Golden. It is a funny feeling. The responsibility of receiving a Golden is really overwhelming. Its like being lost at times. I think of suddenly having to know the whole area well enough to get us through. It will be an experience for me. I really feel the need for the Lord’s help. He already knows how many other worries I have with the District and all. I really need the powers of heaven.
My Golden will look to me with full confidence. He won’t know anything about teaching, tracting, discussions, etc. etc. except what he has tried to learn in the LTM. I remember how lost I was. I really can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday when I flew into Berlin.
I can’t even write my thoughts are so scattered. A thousand things are going through my head. Sister Knaetsch is coming in today to meet me for lunch. That will be an experience for him. I’m excited, nervous, lost, happy, confident, dependent, and most of all humbled at this new call. I pray for the Lord’s help-to help me give a special Elder the start he needs for a successful mission.