This is my first mission President Pres. Schwendiman and My first Companion Elder BlackhamJune 25, 1978
Well so much has happened I wish I would have written a little more those two weeks in the mission. The last week in the mission was really great. We worked hard and passed off the D discussion on Saturday. I don’t feel bad about it, but I know I need a lot more work. Leaving the LTM I had a lot of mixed emotions, but it was a great experience and I am thankful for the things I learned and experienced.
Meeting my family was really tough. It seems like a month ago now but it was only yesterday. I had about 18 members of my family there. It was really great to see everyone but it was hard for me. My parents, grandparents, I was really touched, especially Grandma and Grandpa. I hope I get to see them again, they are so special in my life. My sisters- Dex and Brent and their families, it was great!
Mitzie and I really had a good experience at the airport. She came and it was hard for me to see her. She was so good looking and like I know, that my heart was full. I really feel close to her, and even though we didn’t have much time to talk together, it was a special experience for us. She had so many feelings and was close to crying several times. She is the most special person I have ever known and is really close to me. I really love her. I think we grew a lot in the special encounters we had.
She sent me a special send off present. It was a tape of some special people in my life and then some pictures of them also. It was really special to me and I am going to keep it for a long time. Mitzie is so thoughtful I just don’t know how to thank her. I hope my letters and stuff can tell her how much I appreciate her.
June 25, 1975
Well, going on I want to talk about the flight. We got away at 12:20 from Salt lake. Before landing in Chicago I was able to give away a J.S. pamphlet and he said he would open his Book of Mormon that he had at home. From Chicago to Frankfort I sat my Bruder Hudson. There wasn’t enough people to go around so we just had a good time.
We made it to Frankfurt then on the Hamburg. We have had a great time here with the President Schwendiman and the assistants here today. The first thing after a little business they sent us to bed. Then about 6:00 P.M. we got up and showered and ate. Then after a family home evening and a short pause we got our assignments.
Well I can’t believe it, tomorrow I well be flying to Berlin. The Spandau area of Berlin. I am so excited and everything that I guess I am just high. I would be happy with any assignment but I am especially pleased to be going to Berlin. It’s going to be great. I am so thankful to the lord for blessing me with this opportunity. I just can’t count all my blessings. I really love the lord and all he has blessed me with. I hope I can shoe that gratitude by working hard and giving it everything I got.
June 27, 1975
Well, I’ve been here two days - doing the real thing. When we first touched down in Berlin after we got off the plane all our companions were there to meet us. We got our baggage and were off. My companions name is Udell Blackham from Provo. He is really a great elder and really know his stuff. He had 5 1/2years of German before his mission and has been here a year and 1 month now. I don’t thing I’ll be with him a whole lot longer because he is going to go up from here. I really appreciate all his help and everything though, he is a very good missionary.
After a very long haul with all my luggage across Berlin we finally reached the Spandau area. It is really beautiful here with lots of rivers, parks, and small wooded areas. The people here are great but as everywhere they feel a little trapped so they have a lot of these “natural areas.”
After we got here and settled in a bit it was off to work. We opened up a new gegen. My first door was an old oma who wasn’t too interested but during the evening I was able to make some real good contacts- and including a few “complete” door approaches. Tracting is hard work, most people just don’t want to listen but I think it’s challenging and I like to do it. We tracked for a while and came back about 9:30 and then I ate my first DICKMELCH. Not too bad. I guess I’ll be eating a lot of them.
Friday was a good day. We had an appointment at 10:00 but it fell through, so the rest of the day was ours- P-day. We shopped, got me registered, got a bus pass, went to the Stadtbad, and did some letter writing before it was back to work.
June 28, 1975
Well today was my first long day of Missionary work. I was up at 5:15 for study and got in two good hours on my own before breakfast and another one hour companion study before we left. We had a good long hard day. We trackted all afternoon to about 40 doors but did not have much luck. We worked on call backs all morning but all but a couple were not home. It’s vacation time of year here and most were not home. It’s vacation time of year here and most of the people are off on vacations, so its sometimes hard to find to many at home. We came back for lunch during which I cut up the C discussions from a book we had kicking around here. My discussions are so poor I wonder what I did in the LTM sometimes. I have a lot of work to do.
When I got home I was dead. We are going over 16 hours yesterday and working all day. It was really great and I can see why time passes so fast. You just work it to death. It’s going to be great. Now if I could just be not quite so times! Na… Ya…
June 29,1975
Today was my first Sunday in Deutschland. We went to Priesthood and the people were really nice to me. I was asked to say the opening prayer, so I did but it was really scary. Priesthood and they Sunday School went good but I really didn’t understand too much. My understanding is coming slowly. After Sunday School we went to Tschirpigs. He is the neatest guy. We went to see him yesterday in the hospital where he is recovering from a heart attack. Today we went to his home for dinner. It was really great! Then it was a district meeting, companion interview, and back to church.
I had a hard time staying awake in Church. Last night I got a cold somehow, and now my throat hurts and my nose runs. Oh well, I really am tired though. Tonight I had my first Abendbrot at Tschirpigs again. It was really good and a good first start for evening meals in Germany.
It is really great here. I just hope I can get all the study I want and still make it through the day.
July 1, 1975
Today I want to write down some feelings if I can. First though, everything is going great. We are working hard. Doing a lot of tracting and everything is great. We have had 2 D.A. in a row. It’s falling into place for me. This morning I woke up discouraged. Last night we went to the Opera which was really neat. I couldn’t understand it but it was great, it was Ortello in Italian. Anyway we got home late, I was tired. I have a cold and this morning was not too good. But I washed my hair and just got perked up I went in and said a prayer and my entire day was great. I really felt the sprit with me today.
Today we stayed home for a couple hours after lunch. We worked over our tracting books and also had some talking. My companion is a great Elder but he had some Onks Heute. I really don’t know why but we had a good talk about it.
Tonight I taught my first discussion. I learned so much and have so many feeling that I just don’t know how to describe it. First I realize how much I don’t know. Over the discussions especially. I have really got to get in and work. My language the same way. Also, I marveled at the way the spirit directed our thought to lead Mr. Egert into the things we wanted him to do. I wanted him so bad to feel the way I did and it was hard to see him not accept all of it, but it will come. I really feel the spirt when we teach and it’s a good opportunity. I really love the work.
July 4, 1975
Well it’s July the fourth which here in Berlin doesn’t mean anything. Tina the landlords daughter made us a good old American chocolate cake but that’s about it. I can just see everyone back home with all the fireworks and stuff. It’s great to thing about and its just as good for me to imagine the good old days. The pre-existence as we call it here.
Well today was my second P-day in Berlin. It went real good and I got a lot done. I feel good about it, I made a tape today for my family. I hope it gets to them okay. It was a lot of work but I really wanted them to feel how I feel at this time in my life and mission.
This last week has been a hard one for me. My feelings were drifting a little too much to home but because of the things I am learning and the schedules and stuff I feel I have overcome the hardest part now. It’s tough to get going but I really feel the Spirit and I know that the lord is with me and is blessing me. I really love my family, my home, and everything but I am convinced of the importance of my calling and I really want to do a good job here.
I have so much to learn that if I ever get these feelings of homesickness I think of all I want and need to learn and then start studying and working a little harder and things get good again. I love what I am doing here in Spandau.
July 5, 1975
Well I want to talk or write a little bit about some of the people I’ve met. We are lunch today with an Untesucker named Reiberstein. She is 80 years old, but very clear in thought. She has had all the discussions and is just trying to put it all together for her own situation now. She’s thinking hard about baptism but she has a few worries there. A real special sprit was with me as we talked with her today. I don’t know but I hope the lord will bless here and she can come and be baptized. We tracted 5 houses today and during the time we met a lot of interesting people.
We talked to a very, very nice old lady who played the piano real well and talked extremely fast. She teaches the young children for the Protestant Sunday School, but read about us in a book. Just wants to know a little more, she says she is too convicted in her own religion to leave, just curious. Most of the investigators we have are just a little interested, they really don’t want it, usually argue, and won’t humble themselves to sincerely asking the lord whether we have the truth or not. It’s really tough to teach people like this but we feel we both give it all we got. There’s always a chance and when we do all we can then and only then have we done our job. I don’t want anyone coming up to me in the spirit world and saying: why didn’t you convert me, why didn’t you work harder etc. I want to be able to say to them, I tried, I did everything I could. These tough discussions with uninterested or unreceptive people can only be looked at that way. Not as a waste of time. We have tow sister named Platz and Fran Reibestein and other than that about all our investigators are hardnecked and tough kind.
July 7, 1975
I never have time to write all my feeling and it bothers me a little bit, I should take the time but it’s hard to do here in the Mission Field. Well yesterday was a good Sunday. IT was fast and Testimony meeting. I love my testimony and even though it was with many mistakes and all I felt good about it, I think the members felt good also. I have really had a lot of feelings about my mission. One of the worst is discouragement at myself for not studying as hard as I should. It is really hard for me to learn these discussions. I know I should be putting all my time but there are so many things I want to lean that sometimes it is hard.
A thought though “If you know the discussions you will baptize people.” Loren C. Dunn.
That make it clear and it really helps because one of the things I really want to do is help somebody into the church. Sometimes I feel that we could work a little harder. A few more GQ’s, little longer tracting etc. My feelings sometimes are not always on the work and I think if we did a little more work we would kill those feelings.
Tomorrow is an austausch with me and Bruder Reichmen going together. It should be pretty good and since it’s my day we are really going to do a lot of work. It will be good since both of our German language is not so great. The lord will bless us through.
July 8, 1975
Today we had an austausch. Elder Reichman and I were together all day. We had a really good day and we worked real hard to talk to everyone. We trackted for 6.5 hours. That’s a lot of tracking. I felt good about it because I was in charge and I really wanted to do a good job. Some feelings Bruder Reichman is a great elder and will make a very good missionary. He already has, but yesterday sometimes I felt like he was in a rut. He said the same things the same uninterested way most of the time. Maybe he was just bored with me; I really don’t know. I just hope I don’t sound that way to the people.
It is extremely hot here, we just about die wearing our coats all day. I want to wear just my brown pants one of these days but I don’t think I will get to. My feelings towards the work are getting better. Every day I learn so much and I really feel better about my language and the discussions. It’s coming along and I can feel me growing. Sometimes I feel real spiritual and other times not so. I need to be closer in tune with my Father in Heaven. There are a lot of things about missionary work that are really great, but there are also some things I feel we could do better. I maybe just green but I feel we don’t always work as good as we could.
July 15, 1975
Wow this is terrible. I have gone a whole week without writing in my journal. Well I am making a new goal. Namely this, I am going to figure writing in my journal everything I can about my thoughts and I am going to do it everyday. That means if I come home in the evening and there is not enough time then it’s journal time in the morning. This is my 82nd day in the mission field and only 49 pages of notes, I have really fallen down, so my goal stands.
This has really been an interesting week. We worked hard all week but really didn’t have a whole lot of success. We have a few good investigators and a lot of crappy ones. We have two sisters by the name of Platz. They are making marvelous progress. I really feel the Spirit when we teach them. I hope we can bring them along now.
Sister Reibestein is an 80 year old oma that we hope will be baptized soon. She has had all the discussions but just doesn’t know about the baptism step. We have challenged her and all but we are still working. I hope she’ll come along. Friday we taught a man that I just couldn’t believe. He only had one leg but he had a fake one he could use pretty good. He was so spiritually dead that we couldn’t believe it. He picked apart the Joseph Smith story with a needle and a pick. Every little detail, it was really dumb of us to spend the time with him that we did. He was so set in the warps of men. I couldn’t believe it. One time he said something about god, and that god didn’t make man (Adam and Eve) and he swore a little. My companion Bruder Blackhan really lost his cool. He told him not to mock the things of God. I didn’t know what was going on but it was pretty neat to see. He was just an old hermit type of a guy that couldn’t believe on anything but the teachings of man- moon, scientist, wild thinkers, etc. It was really a waste of our time, but we bore our testimonies and I told him that when we both got to the spirit world I hoped he wouldn’t find me and ask why I didn’t teach him better, because we had done our best with him.
I am doing so much better in understanding and speaking. My understanding is going along a lot better than the speaking I really need to study in that area. Yesterday I had a great experience. It was as austausch with Bro. Hill the zone leader. Sunday afternoon we meet the zone leaders in downtown Berlin and I went with Bro. Hill and Bro. Alders came home with Bro. Blackham. It was really a great experience. We took an investigator to church than after had a district meeting. Then we took the long ride home. They live in a real nice little place with an O ma in Hermsdorf. Bro. Hill and I had a great day together. In the morning after a couple of visits we went to Splantnitz in the city to give a man a blessing. Wow, he had a story. He Came here in 1967 with the army, got out in 1970 after they tried to kill him, had to marry a German girl, one boy, than a brain tumor, trying to get home. It was a sad story- I was counting my blessings. Later in the evening we did some tracting. Bro hill was so friendly- everybody loves him. We made 2 appointments in 1 ½ hours. It was really neat to be with the experienced zone leader. He’s been zone leader for 9 months and goes home in 3 weeks. He gave me some grammar study cards but more than that a great example that I am going to work to be like. (Note: I also learned how to cook “toads in the road” from Elder Hill.)
July 16, 1975
Well, I had a great day. A real good day, in fact I think the days are getting better by leaps and bounds now. I don’t get as tired as I used to. My language is improving. We are getting cooler days. It’s doing wonders for my. Today was my first good day of study for awhile. Also we spent 3 hours this afternoon moving in some furniture and cleaning and rearranging our rooms. It is really great. Now I feel a lot better organized and I will be able to study better I know. I always have liked to be organized and now I have all my stuff right where I want it. My “ducks are in a row.” We ate a little time but it was worth it.
We did some really great tracting tonight. We didn’t get out until 4:00 but we made 1 discussion appointment with an older fellow and a F.A. CB with a nice Frau. Those have been a long time coming. It seems like we have been turned away too much lately. We then went and visited Sister Prince. It was really a spiritual experience. She has been coming to church for 19 years and knows its true but her husband won’t let her be baptized. She has a strong testimony and wants more than anything to be baptized. So tonight we went to her house and just told her, right out, that we thought that she should be baptized. It took her by surprise but she just lit up. We are going to try and help her to talk to her husband some more but even if he is against it we both feel the she has been denied the blessings long enough. I know, and I felt the spirit strong tonight, that with the lords help he will help find a way that we can help Sister Pringe be baptized. It was quite an experience for me.
July 17, 1975
Today was a great day. I couldn’t believe how much the lord helped us today. We tracted in the morning and then went to Schwester Feiks for dinner. It was the best meal I have had here in Deutschland- meatloaf and potatoes. Than we went to Kladow. We had real good luck in meeting a lady. We have her a Book of Mormon an should have an appointment. Then we went to the South end by the wall. It was really beautiful county with a lot of trees and nice houses. The wall there was nothing. It had just a shabby barbed wire fence. I guess it is patrolled somewhere else but that part didn’t look to mean.
This evening we made a good appointment for an F.A. I really felt the lords help today in getting all our stuff done.
July 18, 1975
Today was preparation day but even so we went out at 10:00 and taught a discussion to Fran Reibestein. It was a very spiritual discussion. Finally at the end we committed her to baptism for Aug. 23. It was so neat. Always before she has talked about her church being the Evangelist Church but we just told her to pick out a date, so she did. Five days after her birthday, her 81st birthday I think. The spirit was so strong there I felt overwhelmed. We played Suche (Man’s Search for Happiness) before the discussion and my eyes watered the whole time. I don’t know but the blessings are really special to me. When I see the older man die and go back to his wife I just get chocked up. It is a wonderful experience to be here on a mission and to be able to be in meetings like I was this morning. Sister Reibestein was really touched by the spirit today or she wouldn’t have decided to commit herself. I am grateful to the lord fro blessing us and her so.
This evening we went to the mini conference for our zone. I meet all the Elders in the zone and learned a lot from what the brethren taught us. In our zone -mini- conference they are going to try and teach the everyday side of missionary work where as in a zone conference it is going to be more of a spiritual experience. Our next one is on Aug 5, I can’t wait to go, they are suppose to be great and I am so excited to see.
My feelings at this point are really strong toward my mission. In a short while I have learned so much. Right now it seems I have lots to learn and I do, but its coming and I feel good about things.
July 19, 1975
Today looked like a pretty dull day when I first started to plan it. We had a few besuchts to make and that was all. Now looking back it was a good day with a lot done. I feel we could always do more but I don’t thing we are not working very good, were doing okay.
This morning we had the type of discussion that I don’t like to have. We called on a investigator named Frau Bottcher. She is a short lady and plays the piano for the church and also teaches the Sunday school in “her” church. She was so closed minded I couldn’t believe it. We talked and showed her scriptures out of the Bible and she had an excuse for everything. If Paul, and John or one of the other Apostles said it, it wasn’t necessarily true. I can’t believe how the people can study the bible and be so far off. When it says it right there they still don’t believe. I guess the devil really has a hold of these other churches. Oh they have a lot of truth and they worship Christ but the teachings of men are so prevalent that I wonder what they actually do believe. Fran Bottcher was so closed minded she wouldn’t even consider praying about asking the lord if Joseph Smith was a prophet. There was several times that my companion just got so frustrated with her he couldn’t believe it. When it comes to learning the truth the people in the other churches just are taught to be closed minded. I think that’s one of the biggest failures ( and probably the most carefully planned by the adversary) the other churches have. I’ll write more on this later.
We went and saw Olto today. He is still in the hospital. He is a wonderful man, I hope and pray that he will get better.
July 20, 1975
I can’t really express my feelings that I have today. The ways of the lord are so beautiful and the gifts of the spirit seem to be with me a lot. I have felt the spirit just with me, bearing witness to the divinity of the things we do all the time. Discussions, meetings, companion study, district meeting, songs in church, personal feelings. In all of these and other times I feel the spirit and I am so thankful for the lords help and guidance.
My personal feelings and real strong on the gospel but I really want to decide what kind of missionary I want to be. Right now I feel growing, to competitive, or striving for some vague image that I want to be. Of course I want to be a good, successful, missionary, but what exactly is that. That’s my problem, I need to do as Bro. Southam says ie.. picture myself as something, solidify it in my mind, in full form and content and then strive to be like that. Like baptism, you’ve got to picture yourself in the water saying the prayer and then do everything you can to work for it. Well, tonight I am going to have a personal inventory and write some goals down and solidify in my mind the kind of picture of the kind of missionary I want to be in 6 months. It is so important to be striving for a goal. After I write a few things I’ll set some goals and write them down here.
I want to try and express myself concerning a few things that have happened today. At the first of July we set a goal for ourselves to have a baptism this month. That was all fine and good except I really didn’t visualize and work for it as well as I could have. These last couple of weeks I guess I sort of lost sight of the vision; but let me try and express my feelings as the following situation occurred. Last Sunday, my companion felt we should go talk to a Frau Prince. Mrs. Prince has been coming to our church for 19 years and never been baptized. Her husband is dead set against it and has been holding her back all of these years. Well we went and saw her during the week and just told her right out that we thought now was the time. She lit up and I could see the excitement in her face. She has a strong testimony and talks of it as “our church”. Well the problem comes in because of her man. He just hasn’t let her be baptized. We told her to think and pray about it, and then we left.
This morning as I walked into the chapel, Sis. Prince came up to me and asked if we could have her husband sign the paper today and a few other things that I couldn’t understand. I went and got Elder Blackham and we had a little talk with her. It was amazing she was ready, said she could get her husband’s permission, and would like to be baptized. Just like that we both about fell over. It was so special. We talked about either July 26 or Aug 2 and told her to think about it and we’d come out after church.
Well a lot of things went through my mind. I realized how prevalent the lords hand was in the experience. I think of our goal and how hard we worked this month and then just like that the last week a special lady wants to be baptized. The lord works wonders here on earth, everyday of the week. It was a testimony to me and of my faith to experience such a situation.
Elder Blackham and I decided to go out just before church. It was raining pretty good but we put on our raincoats and took the bikes and headed out. By the time we got there we were both soaked. We knocked on her window because her bell doesn’t work and she came out. It was an Eingel house and she came into the yard and told us to come around on the back porch were the door was. We went just inside in a little entry way and talked with her for a few minutes. She decided to be baptized on Aug 2 so that her daughter could be there also. (She was on a trip)
Suddenly her man walked by, saw us there, and came up yelling his head off. I have never seen anyone so upset. He told us it was his house that we were in, and that if we ever were seen there again he would physically throw us out etc….. He was yelling and Mrs. Prince was trying to calm him down and felling bad for us. I feel so much sorrow for her. That’s why she hasn’t been baptized before was because of him. He is a fat, hot headed, rude individual and she is so nice and I really feel for her. The yelling didn’t bother me I just felt so bad for her. She felt bad for us and it was really a poor situation. I just about said something to him but fortuanatly I didn’t.
Fran Prince is going to be baptized, with her daughter there at least if not also baptized, on Aug 2 after all these years. It is truly wonderful!
As I look at it in perspective with my own efforts toward reaching the goal of a baptism this month I feel really unworthy. The lord has put this wonderful experience in our grasp and I wasn’t even working that hard for it. It has really made me do some thinking about myself, about my faith, about my personal progress, and making works and actions. I realize that I really hadn’t caught the vision of making a baptism this month and as it turned out we aren’t going to have one; but on the other hand, our efforts or maybe my companions faith was enough for the lord to bless us with the inspiration to talk to Sister Prince, in that she is now going to be baptized. It is a wonderful blessing and I know that if I would have kept sight of my goal and had a little more faith we would have baptized her on the 26 and would have had the experience we asked the lord to have. It’s going to be a great experience to baptize her but its an even greater learning experience for me to take evaluation of myself.
My feelings are really strong toward personal growth and progress. Like I said earlier I feel I have been studying but maybe only to study; not studying to learn as much as I should be.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
It’s so important to have a plan in which you strive after a fixed image of yourself as you want to be. I think of Bro. Southam and his wonderful teachings on faith, goals, personal accomplishments. Getting your “ducks in a row” as I call it. I also have a great example here in my own district. My District Leader, Elder Manworing is this kind of person. He gets up at 4:30 and has everything planned out for his day including time for thinking and praying. This is what I want to start doing. Concentrating on my studying, my praying, my progress, and especially on the goals (such as baptisms) that I set or we set as a companionship. More diligent in all things.
July 21, 1975
Well I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and here are the things that I want to work on. I am getting a picture of myself that I want to be like be- say Christmas. The things listed are for me everyday to work on.
Character: Learn to communicate better in prayer
Be more aware of the promptings of the spirit.
Keep my mind pure and virtues in thought.
Be more aware of others feelings.
Be concerned for others- loose myself in the work.
Don’t always spout off everything I know about something.
Physical: Always have study planned!
Get up at least by 5:00.
Take time to think, ponder, evaluate, and pray. Evaluate and plan weekly.
Be dressed and ready by companion study at 6:30.
Be faithful to my exercise program.
Eat less- especially in the evenings.
Always look good and take care of my clothes and myself.
Write in my journal every night.
Items for study: Discussions- First review and retain- 1 hour a day. Second all learned by Jan1
Grammar- ½ hour a day, new outline everyday. Verbs, prep, sentences. Etc..
Scriptures- English and German, Read for understanding!
Other- Work on F. A. Book, read the pamphlets, get ideas for your I.P. book, memorize scriptures, mark you scriptures, write talks, geography, proslyting protic, also picture and thoughts on my back. Don’t waste time.
“Be true to myself in the goals that I have made.” Jeff Rogers 21-7-75
July 21,1975
I really blew it in companion study this morning. I couldn’t even spit C-1 out this morning. I really planned out this week good and all but I didn’t have much time for my personal study, so I blew it. Sometimes my companion and I have a little strive. He told me yesterday that he has always been a loner and didn’t ever share his thoughts. Well it wasn’t anything new to me. When I get to be a Senior companion I am going to let my junior especially if he is golden in on everything. Its not bad but sometimes we just do things and I don’t know why or the story behind it. It’s not bad and I have learned so much from him.
Today I lead and we did a lot of tracting, which especially happens when I lead. I like that. We knocked on the door in Pillnitzer Weg, a Fran came and said that she had already had a family home evening ahd wasn’t interested further. Soon her 3 kids came up and one of them ( a cute little girl) recognized me as the man that always plays tricks with the kids. Well she grabbed me and hugged me just so suddenly that I was taken back. So I kneeled and asked her name and she hugged my again and asked me if I had any more magic. Well all this time Elder Blackham was talking and when the Fran saw what was happening, we got an appointment. It was really neat, I can’t wait to go back. I guess a little magic and kindness doesn’t always hurt.
Les wrote me a letter today. I can’t believe how much his is changing. I think he is really getting into the work. It sounds like his mission is really tough like mine but he says the lord is blessing him and I know that to be true. Good old Les is going to come a long way through this experience. Dew wrote me a special letter also. I will write on that tomorrow.
July 22, 1975
Today was the first day I really felt good about my study and my planning. It was the first chance I had to do it but it also worked out good. I studied really hard on my discussions today. C1-5 is pretty solid. I realized that I really haven’t been getting it together with my discussion studying. I probably learned more today in one hour than I did all last week. From this day forth its concentrating and straight upword course for this missionary discussions. The key is review.
We had two discussions today and about 4 termine. I ate all day long. I am getting sick of eating all this German (fat soup) stuff. I would rather cook for myself sometimes. Not really that bad but sometimes I wonder, attitude my friend!
Marcia, Grandma, and Mitzie all wrote me good letters today. Marcia hasn’t written for a long time but it sure was good to hear from her. Apparently they got the tape okay and all so I won’t wonder about that anymore. She said a lot of good things. She said she is really enjoying working with grandma. That’s great, she said Grandma gets so excited about talking about her two missionaries. Marcia is really growing up fast. I think she is a really special spirit.
Mitzie wrote a beautiful letter also. She is really concerned for me and is getting some chances there at home to do a little missionary work. I really like to get letters like tonight’s , they really encourage me. She things I am down, maybe that’s the way the tape sounds. I hope not. But that was 2 weeks ago. I am doing a lot better now.
July 23, 1975
Wow, everyday holds a beautiful experience or two or three for me. This morning we had the opportunity of teaching Sister Prince the discussion before her baptism interview. She has been coming to church for 19 years and knows more that I do probably. It was so neat I just sat down and said “Sister Prince, maybe you could tell me that Joseph Smith story. I just sat and flipped the pictures as she told it to me. In fact we gave her all 8 discussions in 1 hour. She just knew it all and we just reviewed more or less. It was really a special experience. All 8 discussions in 1 hour. I gave C, D, and I, Elder Blackham gave the rest, it was really neat. Afterwards she had an interview with Elder Manwaring and then decided on Elder Blackham to baptize her. I can’t wait until the second to see it be done. Baptism, that is what it is all about. We are going to have our first one in quite awhile Saturday August 2nd.
Today was really interesting. Many wonderful experiences. We worked in Kladow all afternoon and really had a good day. It’s more of a residential, retirement area, really beautiful and there are a lot of tourist there. We met these 3 people in a VW bus who were from Australia. They wanted to have some directions for a campground. We also meet a photographer from Scotland. He was just a kid traveling around the world taking pictures. We helped him find his bus and had a good little chat with him.
We also had 2 discussions, one good, one bad. I’ll say something about Fran Mckay first. We brought her the book last time although we didn’t get the chance to talk with her about the Joseph Smith Story. So we went with C1-4 today to explain a few things about our church. I couldn’t believe what a mixed up idea she had of everything. She was goofed up I really thought it was comical. She was talking about dates and names and mixing the Bible names with Book of Mormon names. It was one of the worst jobs I have ever seen. It was a pretty bad discussion. We got C1 out and that was all. She knew there was 2 stories but just couldn’t get it through her head. I think the advisory had something to do with it. It just goes to show you that without the Spirit one can read even the Book of Mormon; the most perfect book on earth, and get a wrong impression. I learned something from that discussion.
Well I’ve been saving the experience for last. Today we went into a house to teach a little old Oma the C discussion. We sat down and started and said we’d like to pray. I gave a simple little investigators prayer. When I got done tears were streaming down her face. It was that way the whole discussion. She was 10 years without anyone and was really lonely, so we gave her the part about life after death, eternal prayers, and living again with your family. She melted, she said she wanted to know more then anything else if these things were true. The Spirit was really strong, she was crying most of the time we talked to her. Her name Fran Schade. It was the best I've ever done on a discussion. It really was a beautiful experience. We prayed with her after and made another appointment. She is going to read the Book of Mormon and come to church this week. She is really golden and I have my hopes in her. She wants to know it so bad that I know the Lord will bless her with a testimony. A beautiful experience for me.
July 24th 1975
We tracted a lot today, it wasn't the same old 24th of July I used to know. I had my first FA today, this evening anyway. We went to this little family in Pillnitzer Weg. I really couldn't believe it, the father really wasn't very smart but he sure ran his family like he thought he was yelling at his kids. I really felt stupid trying to give a lesson while he was yelling “Shut up and listen!” or something all the time. I am just thankful that I am who I am with all the opportunities I have. I remember those good old 24th of July's we would have at Pine Valley. I sure do have a good heritage.
July 25th 1975
We had a pretty rough day today, it started out OK but Ray came to visit us and went with us shopping. We just got further and further behind. We had an appointment at 3:00 and about 2 hours to write all our letters and get there... so we were behind. Well we rushed everything and made it but I wasn't too pleased with the time we had for letter writing. When we got there the appointment fell through, it was a pretty rough deal so we went and got something to eat and got our hair cut.
After that we did some tracting, neither one of us could feel the Spirit and the people could tell I guess. Anyways we had a real hard time, after one evening we went and talked it over. Lately we have been have little pride arguments. Well we decided that Satan was just working on us and we needed to do better. We felt better after the talk and the work went better.
July 26th 1975
Today we ate with Sister Reibestein, she had so many questions and so much doubt I couldn't believe it. We talked and talked and finally had to get a little bit upset. We re-told the Joseph Smith story and told her to funnel her doubts into asking the Lord. It was well before we finally left but I couldn't believe how far she had digressed before we came. I feel like this is a big war sometimes.
In the afternoon we went out to see what Horst, he is my companions only baptism that has been living with his sister here in the ward because of family problems. Well last week he moved to Renigendorf and wanted us to come see, so we did. It helped him I think. Horst is quite home-ish but he knows the commandments and the things pertaining to the Church. We got there and after a little trouble found him. He lives in a dorm type of deal. He had Vodka and coffee in the room. Elder Blackham was a little upset and we spent most of the time trying to convince Horst that these things are wrong. He knows but he makes stupid excuses. The dorm room was bad, it reminded me of prison. His uncle lived across the hall, both were bad. I had a lot of time with all the traveling so I read the entire book of Genies. Those stories really touched me. I especially liked Jacob and Joseph, they seem to always talk about their blessings and families. When I see the things here in Germany that I do, it just makes my eyes water sometimes. I have been so blessed to be born where I was, the heritage my grandparents and forefathers, my blessings and my opportunities. My heart is full in thankfulness to the Lord for all he has given me. I am a very blessed and happy person.
July 27th 1975
Today I was under the weather all day, I couldn't eat much and slept for 2 hours this afternoon. I just hope I can be good tomorrow. We have a long day ahead of us; I know the Lord will bless me. Sister Schade came to church today, I think she had good feelings about it... I hope she can come along.
July 28th 1975
Well I was really not feeling that hot but the Lord has blessed me and I have made it through the day. My stomach is steady now and I feel stronger. I know the Lord is with his missionaries always, I am getting a stronger testimony of these things all the time. Today we had another discussion with Sister Schade in Kladow. It was a good discussion but she is so worried about being alone and everything her own little world so to speak that she has a hard time really thinking on these other things. We have a hard time keeping to the subject, I still have hope for her and I think that she can come along and enjoy these blessings. Today I read the Ensign of the last Conference report. When I think of all the beautiful words and messages the apostles and general authorities have given us, missionary work, consecration, sacrifice, commandments, blessings, love, marriage etc. When I think of these things and the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I get the chills, the “woolies.” I really love the gospel and all the opportunities we as members have. I love my mission and I can't wait to go back, marry, and be a faithful Priesthood Holder in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
July 20th 1975
Today was the austausch with Elder Manwaring. He is my district leader and a top-notch elder. We had a good days work even though we had 2 discussion dump. We talked a little of faith and other things during the day. He is a good elder but I learned that he didn't always serious, he has a good time and that helps the work sometimes. Tonight was Tina's birthday party. We went to a pizza place and stuffed ourselves. She made me eat 2 and I think I am going to be sick tonight.
July 30th 1975
Today was a rough day. We had a lot of trouble on the doors and the Herr Egert dumped. Then to top it off we went out to get my tasche that we left at the pizza place last night and it wasn't there. That was upsetting, it had B. Blackham's picture book, all of B. Manningways German scriptures and my triple and our taufe book. I don't know but we are all really under tonight because of our bad luck. Sister Pring had a real tough time getting her husband to sign the baptismal papers. Now when we can't get them back we will have to get them done over again. After 19 years I wouldn't want anything like that to happen. It is my triple too, I hope the Lord will help us tomorrow in recovering it.
July 31st 1975
Well sometimes we have good days and sometimes we have hard ones, but never bad ones. Today was hard, the Lord gives us bad days to make us grow I guess.
Aug 1, 1975
Well, today was a pretty good day. I got a tape from Marc's farewell from Mitzie. It was pretty good I think the old kid is going to make it. I hope when things get tough he can rely on the Lord and be the Missionary he knows he should be. Marc's a great kid, I wish his family was just a little closer, he could really use the support.
Tonight after a fairly good preparation day, finally, we went into the city. Wow, I can't believe the people and the things you see there. The iniquity of the Earth is really bad. And the thing is in the these big cities it is just a common thing. The young people really don't have very much of a chance because they haven't seen the good side. What it means to be happy. I really doubt if very many people find it here. It is a shame that we don't appreciate what we do have more at home.
We went and looked at cameras a little also. I am really mixed up in what I should do. With the dollar so high now I could just about buy it here and may e save me the hassle of going through Chan from Hong Kong.
We all went to the Americanish Folkfest in Dallem in the evening. It was pretty good. I guess. I had fun but as a Missionary we didn't go on any rides or anything. We watched Rosi, James, Seigfried, Tina & Ray instead. It was great just seeing the things & the food. Wow I loved the food - real hamburgers, corn on the cob, tacos - it was great. Just for the food. It was really kind of neat being a Missionary there. I felt like a Missionary. It was neat being there and not going on any rides - in the world but not of it - It was a great feeling.
Aug 2, 1975
My heart is really full as I try to write some of the feelings I had today. First of all we went and saw Otto this morning. He has been 2 months in the hospital now. I really think a lot of him. He is such a good-natured old guy and such a great member. When we go in to visit him he just beams and the love he has for us, especially Elder Blackham because he's been here 6 months and knows him so well, it just radiates from him. He has had several more heart murmurs and the doctors aren't even talking of letting him go home for a while. We don't know how long he will have to stay there. I just hope and pray for the blessings of the Lord to be with this fine man so he can get better and go home to his family.
This afternoon the baptism was held for Sister Prinz and Tina in Dallem. It was the most special experience I have had. I was a witness and I watched the whole thing, because I had to make sure, from about 1 foot away. It was really the feelings of the Spirit as I witnessed the baptisms. Sister Prinz, Tina, an older lady who was only taught for one week, and two young people by Elder Hill were the people baptized. My companion was going to baptize Sister Prinz but her brother came from Dortmund. We were glad to let him do it but the Assistants couldn't get any verification on him from his Stake President. So, E. Blackham got dressed at the last minute and was ready to go. Then half way through the meeting the assistants got a hold of the man's Stake Pres. And everything was fine. So, at the last possible minute he changed into whites and baptized his sister, (Sis Prinz), and my companion was left sitting there in his white clothes. It was great that her brother could baptize her and my companion had no calms about it; but it would have been hard for anyone to be sitting there in your whites ready to baptize the lady you received inspiration for and helped get ready for this big step. We were both glad that her brother could do it but still I am sure it was hard for my companion. Not
Aug 2, 1975 (cont.)
because he was thinking of himself because he wasn't. It doesn't matter who baptizes as long as it happens. Its just that a missionary sees himself in the water as his drive for the work. That 's what its all about - bringing people into the kingdom. It was hard I am sure to be anticipating helping someone partake of these blessings and then not be able to. We are both happy, though, very happy, that after 19 years Sister Prinz is finally now a member of the Church. It was really special.
As the participating Missionaries in her conversion we were able to lay our hands upon her head, along some of the Elders in our Branch, and confirm her. Her brother also did the confirming. “I want to testify today, that as I stood there with my hands upon her head my whole body was filled with the Holy Ghost. As the prayer was being said I could just feel it run out my arms, and hands. It was a very strong feeling and I am so thankful that I am a strong Elder of the church capable and worthy to exercise my Priesthood along side of the same type of men, other Elders in doing the work of the Lord. I know this is the true church, my testimony grows everyday. The Lord Jesus Christ is my redeemer and has made these wonderful blessings available for me. Amen.”
Today several other beautiful stories went on also. E. Reichman baptized Tina. E. Manwaring is the senior and did most of the teaching but he let Brother Reichman do the baptism. I think about that and I can really learn a lot. To many times people, Elders, get baptism hungry - for the wrong reasons. In Mitzie's blab all they report on is Baptisms. That's great and all that its supposed to be - the name of the game because you don't even help anyone by just teaching them - but to many times to many Elders are working for the wrong thing. Well I really can appreciate Elder Manwaring. He hasn't had any baptisms and here comes his first one and he “tells” E. Reichman that he will be baptizing Tina. It was really a tremendous and Spiritual boost for E. Reichman so early in his mission but I feel E. Manwaring has given me an example to dwell and ponder upon. I will make it a thought, that will take prayer and inspiration depending upon the situation of course, but I will make it a thought that when I am a Senior and receive a Golden if we get a baptism early he will be the one baptizing. Its quite a great opportunity to baptize and I thing E. Manwaring has shown me the right attitude and example in the true meaning of the work. Jesus gave us all types of these examples but I think I have been witness to a beautiful parable right here in my own District.
I hope when I become a Senior I can be as humble and dedicated and seek for the Glory of God not my own as E. Paul Manwaring - a giant to me - has clearly done.
There were a couple of other things that touched me today. Elder Hill, another giant of a Missionary, leaves for home this next week. He was my Zone Leader and I got to work with him on that Austausch we had the other day. He is a fine Elder and really taught me a lot. Well, today he had the opportunity of baptizing two young people into the church. Alex, 15, & Gabi, 16. I think that's right. Well anyway they are both pretty special people and he knows it. After they were confirmed a talk was given on the Holy Ghost. I looked over to him and tears were streaming down his face. His joy was overwhelming. I really was touched by his joy and he didn't even know I was watching him, I could really feel it. Being able to just be here and feel these wonderful Elders Spirit and the wonderful feelings of new converts is a blessing to me beyond most of the things I have ever done in my life. I really love this Mission of mine and I am looking forward to the day when I can find, teach, & baptize that family that the Lord is preparing for me to bring into the Kingdom.
Tonight, after the Baptism we went over to Rosi's. James has been feeling sick again. He had a real bad case of stomach ulcers last Christmas and just about died. He said he could feel them coming again so he asked us to give him a blessing. E. Blackham anointed his head & E. Manwaring sealed the anointing. It was such a spiritual experience. Again I felt the Spirit. Not so strong as the baptism but it was there. E. Manwaring was really lead by the Spirit. Afterwords James was in tears. He testified that he knew we really had the Priesthood because he could feel it as we blessed him. A very special experience. August 2, 1975, a day that I will always remember.
Aug 3, 1975
Today was a good day. We had fast and testimony meeting this morning and I had the opportunity to bear my testimony again so I did. My grammar was real poor. I had most of it all thought out but by the time I stood up it just left me. I guess its the thought that counts but I blew it with the grammar.
We ate at Rosi's after church and then went down to Gatow to visit Brigetta, she's in the hospital for a whole month to lose weight. It's what you call a crack diet. No food - just liquids for one whole month under medical attention. We came back and had cake - wow good - and pretty well blew the whole day. We didn't get back until 9:00 so the whole day was shot I think.
Tonight we had a real great District Meeting. It was really good, we all bore our testimonies and worked out some problems. It was really a special meeting and the Spirit was real strong. It was so great. Our district is really close and we really feel that we are all here for a purpose. It's a testimony to us because of all the unusual circumstances and the success that we are having.
Elder Reichman said a few things that I thought were choice. He has always had a little bit of a humility problem. Well it came to a peak today or yesterday I guess and he & E. Manwaring had a little spat. Tonight I think E. Reichman really grew a lot as he expressed his sorrowfulness to us & said he was ready to be the Missionary he was supposed to be. He's going to make it, he's a good Elder.
Aug 4, 1975
We went down to Templehof today looking for my tasche. We checked with both the police & the BVC but it wasn't at either place - or my books. I guess that's the way its supposed to be. I'll just have to write home and ask Mom for another one. There's really no problem, just that she had given me that one for my Mission - special. Plus it had some good notes from the L.T.M. in it.
We went down to Kladow after eating at Sister Börners (which we do every Monday). She is a fine old lady. She is sincere I think but she feels so sorry for herself that she thinks of nothing else. She has so much self pity and asks God why she is alone. We told her she had a great work to do for her ancestors & that's why she was still here on the earth but she just asks God why he has left her so lonely - and sometimes to take her. I feel real bad because here we are trying to give her the very reason, I feel, of why she is alone and she can't think about anything other than her loneliness long enough to hear us. It makes me feel bad, I think of what Bro. Southam told us in the L.T.M. He said whenever you feel sorrow for yourself or are deep in self pity - you are in a sense denying the atonement of Christ, because you are saying his suffering is not good enough we think we have to take a little on our own selves. I don't know if that doctrine but I do feel its a good idea to ponder.
We also had a discussion by the Platz sisters. They have reached the point where they need to gain that testimony of Joseph Smith that's all important. We want to help but couldn't get another appointment.
Aug 5, 1975
Well, I can't believe all the great experiences that come to a Missionary. Today was my first Zone Conference. It was so neat. I just sat there and soaked in knowledge. The Presidents talk was so good, he just sits and teaches us for a couple of hours. Then his wife takes a turn and then we have classes with the Zone Leaders and the Assistants. Lunch is also served. After that we had a short testimony meeting and then closed the conference. It was really a great experience. The President talked on a lot of things about the work about ourselves & about how to stay in tune all the time. He also said something that I thought was really appropriate for me. He talked about the thoughts we have even though they may sometimes turn towards girls & love & stuff aint always dirty. He says we have to ask
Aug 5, 1975 (cont.)
ourselves what we really want. Are we lusting? Or is it just the natural God given interest & attraction that all of us have in us. As Missionaries we have to really be careful but he said sometimes we fight things & get mad at ourselves for things that aren't bad. I know myself I get mad at myself for looked at there young people here in Berlin. When if I was lusting or thinking dirty thoughts it would be bad. But I shouldn't get mad at myself for being attracted or interested in a young lady - instead I should turn these mad feelings into thoughts of realizing the best of what the future with an eternal marriage and the true meanings of love mean. It was a great talk - one that I really learned a lot from.
Yesterday was quite a day. I saw E. Hill & E. Elwood for the last time. E. Hill leaves tomorrow & E. Elwood leaves next Saturday. It is really weird to see them leaving I really look up to and admire E. Hill because of the great leadership & missionary qualities he has. E. Elwood I feel like I have known for all my life. His just that kind an Elder. They have been fine examples to me and I hope I can “eternalize” some of their great qualities.
As I look at my life, at this point, I can see the whole thing unfolding before me. I remember the first time I went to school looking at the older kids, I remember thinking about going to the High School - and now I'm out. I remember my college, - two quarters gone. The LTM looking at those Elders flying - and now I've flown. Being a Golden and now its nearly 6 weeks in the field. I look at all these things - now E. Hill going home - and I realize that time marches on. It won't be a whole long time until I turn Senior & the 21 or something and then go home, etc. It may seem like it, but it really isn't going to be so long. What I am getting at, I guess, is that we have to learn to live each day at a time and not want things to come. My life is going fast enough as it is. I am learning to live each day for its fullest and it is really great. Happiness & success are a journey - not an endpoint. I really love what I am doing and I am really happy with where I am going. I used to think that sometimes I would never get there and I can't wait; now my thoughts are there isn't enough time& enjoy what I have. That's komisch coming from a Golden isn't it? Oh, well, I believe it.
One more thing, my companion E. Blackham found out yesterday he was going to Bremen next Thursday as a zone leader. See, another step for me! My second companion. It's going to be great though.
Aug 6, 1975
Today I was austausched with E. Reichman in his gegend. We had a real fine day. We worked in their single - house area over by the wall. Right next to it in fact. A few streets there you could see the wall 100 feet past the people's back yards. How would you like to have a Communist Wall in your back yard? The people don't worry about - they're on the good side.
We did have a pretty good day. In a single house area the people sometimes are friendly because they have to come out and see you. I really had fun talking to a couple of these old Oma's and etc. It is great to be lose and just talk to them in fun as you give them the message. It really works good. We either get a 2k or appointment or turn a (no interest case) into a friend.
We really had a good experience today with Petra. She's the young German girl that was in America last year. I don't know exactly why or the whole story but she is really negative now. She just says she won't join our church and her mind is closed. I had to really think to even get her to talk. I left the religion a little and just told her what I felt about life and hoped that she would be touched and ask why but it really didn't work. She's just lost. I realized one thing again, though, and that is that some people just aren't ready to accept our message. The Lord will touch the people he wants and we must learn to be instruments in his hands. Do all we can and then leave it up to him. I really believe that.
We also had a discussion or chat by a Herr Hale, a member of the parliament here. He is a great guy. I really hope he'll make it.
Aug 7, 1975
We had a good day. This morning we went to the central part of Berlin again for an Ice Cream Banana Split. Sounds like a little unusual behavior for a Missionary, nicht wahr? Well E. Blackham's first baptism was here in Berlin from Hamburg. She called him last night and asked if she could spend a little time tomorrow with us. Well we couldn't say much, it was really a great opportunity. The only thing is we blew all morning. It was really fun though & I had the best banana split ever right there in a little sidewalk cafe looking at Gedecknis Kirche. I felt like a tourist.
This afternoon we had pretty good luck. We made a couple of appointments and had 3 discussions. The first was by Herr Lemmonhirst. He is an older man I really don't think he will pray to get a testimony. The second was by Herr Egert, the computer programmer, (also where I taught my first discussion). He was a real pit. I can't believe how hard the hearts of some people can be. He had a Catholic book that said Joseph Smith was a drunkard and all kinds of stuff. He just doesn't believe God can talk or communicate with people & he won't humble himself enough. He wasn't very moved by our testimonies. We are going back with “Profiles of a Prophet”. I hope we can reach him.
The last of our 3 discussions was by Herr Beur. It went really well. He is a little bit dumb sometimes, not really, but has a small attention span but he really made progress during the discussion. At the end we gave him the prayer challenge and then just kneeled down and he was put on the spot. He just came through & gave a beautiful prayer. It was a first for me, a great first, I have hope.
Aug 8, 1975
Today was preparation day again. We didn't leave the wonung until 5:00. That's unusual for us. We had so much to do. We had to wash all our clothes - what a hassle. It was a good day though.
Aug 9, 1975
Today was a pretty good day. I felt we could have worked harder but it was still good. It is so hot I just don't know. I am soaked in about 10 minutes from the time I leave until I am soaking wet. It is really bad and it hinders the work sometimes. I should be pretty used to it coming from St. George but it doesn't work that way. Here there is a lot of water in the air. It's a lot different.
We had a discussion with Sister Reibestein today. She has decided to not get baptized. I really feel bad, but she says she wants a stronger testimony of Joseph Smith & the other prophets of today. We would also require her to have a strong testimony of this before we would baptize her anyway so it's good I guess. We now need to help her. What we're going to do is fast & pray with her next Saturday. We are going to fast Friday and pray with her Saturday for the Spiritual manifestation that she wants. She has had several very Spiritual manifestations but I guess that wasn't enough. If the Lord wants her to be baptized, and if she is humble & willing enough she will know Saturday. I know the Lord will bless us.
Aug 10, 1975
We had a great Sabbath. E. Blackham gave a talk on Christ in Church. It was real good. We had a family home evening today at 1:00 with the Scholz Family. It went real good and was a very Spiritual Experience. They have a boy 10 and a little girl 6. It was so neat. After the last song the Frau reached down and kissed her little girl and then wiped the tears from her eyes. I really feel strong that the Lord has made peoples family ties for a purpose. We know of family exaltation but these other people don't and I think that the F.A. Program is an inspired tool of the Lords to help his children, to help us share the message. I sure felt it today.
We went and had a little talk with Sch. Hessler. She is half crazy. She gets so upset when we come unexpected. She has this complex about offending people. Everything offends her and she thinks once that's happened nothing can be done. She was offended somehow in the Geminda & wont go back.
We had a special companion interview today. E. Blackham and I both expressed our appreciation for each other. We talked how when we saw each other in the Spirit World we would hold our special experience with Sister Prinz close to our hearts. No one will ever understand except us. He's a great Elder, I have learned a lot from him.
Aug 11, 1975
Today was a good day. We worked hard and I lead. Tonight wasn't so good at the Familie Abend we have at Rosi's. It was just a big gab session. I ripped my pants leg on the bike coming home. I know who my new companion is though. Elder McKaran, that's great with me.
Aug 12, 1975
Today was a different day. After we ate and studied and everything we went over to the Tschirpigs. There she had another continental breakfast there waiting for us. I wonder about my eating habits sometimes. We miss meals all over the place and then sometimes will have 3 in a row at different peoples houses. It is really weird. Oh, well, I just don't want to gain weight is all.
I feel real good about the progress I am making. It seems a lot of times like a slow battle - especially on my discussions. This last week my language has really come a long good but I really need to work in both areas. It feels good to make progress through. I have been up by 5:00 every morning and studying. It really feels good to be able to see the progress. I have trouble trying to keep up with myself or my peers or something. I compare myself too much. I think one of the most important things I've learned is to be your own self. Sometimes I used to say I studied 2 or 3 hours a day. I was studying for the hours. Now its more of a case of studying to learn. That's the important thing. If I can realize that the things I want out of my mission don't depend on what other people think of me - other Missionaries who maybe know more - is what I'm referring to, but they depend on the progress I make and the things I learn and the feelings I have about the Missionary Work. I have to be prepared, that's a very important step. But if I am working to pass off a discussion so that I can mark down on the report then I am doing it for the wrong reason. I hope I can incorporate this idea into a lot of the other things I do. It doesn't matter what we do if it is done for the wrong reason it was done in vain. My vision of the work is for above what is used to be. My vision of the missionary I want to be is also growing in depth. The missionary I am seeing myself is going to be full of knowledge, experience, guts, and desire but he is going to be a humble dedicated servant to the Lord. I love the word humble. I have a hard time with it, but whenever I see someone I admire, idolize (so to speak), love, or strive to be like he usually is quite humble. There is so much more strength, truth, and light in a man that walks into a room - you know he is a great leader, a great man, a spiritual giant, and an Elder of the Priesthood - and he hasn't said a word. Nor will he about himself. This is the way I hope I can be. I am more the type that if anyone has a story going, I'm quick to jump in with a few of my own. If anything is cool - I've done it, etc, etc. I need to find myself in this other mans shoes. It's coming, I am working on a lot of things. This is why I say I shouldn't compare - in anything. I know what I want to be and I should learn things from all the Elders and people I meet but I should never compare myself to them. I love my Mission. I love what the Lord has made possible for me. I have a long way to go but I can see the light of the man I will become. With the Lords help and lots of effort I'll make it.
Tonight Elder Blackham and I had a long talk over each other. One of the things I realize is my pride is pretty strong. But one of the things I also realize is that you have to be true to yourself always. Your word is your will. Be what you say. We had a good talk.
Aug 13, 1975
Well, we had a good day today. It was Elder Blackham's last fall day. We have really had a good time together and have really had some special experience. I learned so much from him, even though at times it was tough learning to work with another companion. A lot of these things you just have to learn. I hope I am learning them right.
We were supposed to have a little Ice Cream Party with the other brethren there in Seegeföller Strope by a little Ice Cream Place - but the other brethren didn't show up. We talked to an old drunk instead. I guess that was just as good - not really but it was funny. He wanted some money for booze but when we offered food he wasn't too interested. So finally we did buy him a wurst and felt good about helping him and not to buy more beer.
We had a real good experience with the Reinsch Family. We walked in, she was sleeping on the couch, and he was playing cards with a Turkish guy. I didn't know if it was going to go or not but they got their son in and it was a great Family Home Evening. The Spirit was really strong and I have good hopes for them. I made the return appointment - I was good I guess. I felt good.
Aug 14, 1975
Today we took E. Blackham down to the train. It was a little sad but he is moving on to bigger and better things. He is a great Elder and going to make some great things happen.
After, we came back with Elder McCowin from Idaho Falls. He is a brand new Senior. We really got along good and I think it is going to be a great learning experience for me. I feel that he is really compatible to my being able to learn. I really have good feelings about it.
We had a discussion bei Herr Lämmerhint and also Buer this evening. They were both okay - not good though.
I want to try and relate the experience I had tonight. It was by far the most personally spiritual experience I have had. We knocked on a door in Cosman Weg and a lady opened the door. She was very friendly and we could really feel a special Spirit from her. She told me she received a lot of joy and happiness from her Evangelist Church and didn't want to talk about anything else. I don't know really how, but the Spirit was really with me and I just started talking about things. All different kinds of things, blessings, marriage, which way is right, etc. “Then I asked if she could honestly say that she knew she had all the blessing of God”. That got her. She melted. The Spirit really touched her. I was so high I couldn't believe it. I found myself on my toes and my calves were just tight. She let us in and I gave her a C-1 right there on the spot. It was so special I just can't believe it. Then I bore my testimony. It was burning in me and she could feel it. Then we prayed together and we left. We left just right, too. I know she was touched. I have never felt anything like this before in my life. We have an appointment Sunday. I can't wait. I pray to the Lord to bless her.