Tuesday, July 20, 2010

October 1975 thru Nov 30 1975 Elder Jones

Elder Jones



October 23, 1975
The longest day. We made the transfer today. Elder Reichman and I got up early and were ready to go by 7:00. We caught the 54 E and were at Zoo by 7:30. From there it was on to Steglitz in Lankwitz with Elder Jones. I really like our new wohnung. Will live with an old lady by the name of Rosenhale (Rosy). She is really something else. It is just one big room in her apartment. I really like it but it presents a lot of problems. Like where to get up and study? I’ll have to figure something out to get back on schedule like I would like to. We didn’t get a whole lot done today. We went to Tegel airport and picked up all the new Elders. After that we went to Spandau again with those Elders going there. We came home and did a few call backs and went to an Investigator’s house and just talked for 1-1/2. We didn’t even get home until 10:30. I am really dead this morning because of it. This is going to be a whole new experience for me. My new companion does things a lot different than I am used to. I am going to have to follow him in all the things but they are not really the way I would do them. I’ll have to admit I am a little discouraged in this area. (How things are done and the work itself.) I think there are going to be a lot of changes than that, that I am used to. I want to be a totally different Missionary than what I see before me. He’s a great Elder but a little different than I am used to. I’ll just have to get adjusted is all.
I am really dead this morning. The bed I sleep on has 3 sections. I have been sleeping on such a good one that now when I come to a German special I guess I don’t know what it’s like. There are a lot of changes for me right now. I am just going to have to take them one by one and ask harder for some help from the Lord. Walk in faith.



October 24, 1975
As I ponder my situation I realize a lot of things. Yesterday I was pretty discouraged. Today was also pretty slim for the first half. We didn’t get too much done and my companion had a big fight with Rosi. Apparently he had some close friends – Female friends – but only friends in Lubeck. Well Rosi has somehow got the wrong idea of the whole mess and accuses him of stuff. Well it’s gotten out of hand and they fight over it. We wasted some time this morning doing that. We had to go to Choir practice at 3:00 even though it was Friday. It was a long hard practice too.
Anyway the day wasn’t real good until after Choir practice and then something happened. I was sitting there at the end of practice, tired, lonely, discouraged – just thinking about all the things going on around my world. Being selfish, or upset I guess. Well anyway Elder Ingerstall gave the closing prayer. During the prayer I was listening with my eyes closed and I saw a man, a Knight of some kind, with a heavy load or anguish on his mind. He was radiant and he kneeled on one knee in my room and communed with the Lord in mighty prayer. Suddenly I realized that he was me. A feeling came over me of love, self-worth, and reliance upon the Lord. I realized a lot of things. First I realized that the Lord was always with me and just as close as my knees to the Floor. I knew that in the last little while it was only through my prayers that I was able to get any strength. And it’s true. When I pray, I try to really be led by the Spirit. I don’t always make it (there are degrees) but it sure does give me a strength and the courage to go sometimes. I realized just how much
October 24, 1975
Strength my prayers were bringing. The Lord is always there helping me, and in this newer situation I can really feel and depend on his help, guidance and presence.
Another thing I felt or learned was my self-worth or my personal contact. In the last few months I have gained so much Spiritual Strength, self-love, and self-integrity; through the Lord’s help of course. I just saw myself kneeling there in mighty prayer and I like what I saw. I know the Lord is really blessing me strength, courage, and the will to be that Missionary I want to be. And so I realized today, I am already him. Not that there isn’t whole valleys and mountains of improvement left to be made because there is. Just that I am him now and will improve and get stronger more and more as I go. It’s a great feeling. That was a special vision I had today in Brother Ingerstall’s prayer.
Tonight we had the privilege of seeing Elka Prince be baptized. My special story with Sister Prince will always be a faith promoting example for me. And now her daughter being baptized and all. I was really tickled. As I sat there in the evening Baptismal Service I was really touched by the Spirit. The last song I didn’t have a book so I just sat there and hummed, and felt the Spirit. It was so special. Thomas Krause was also baptized by his Dad. A very special day for his Dad. Too bad their mother and wife can’t come long in the church. Maybe someday.
I just had a special day today
October 25, 1975
My first day here in Lankwitz on die Arbeit. We had a pretty good day but we really didn’t meet that many people. We are so close to our Gegend I can’t believe it. All our buses and the a-Bahn are just 100 yards from our street and then it’s just a few doors down. I really like our Gegend it’s pretty neat. The houses are old, but they are middle or low-high class houses and it’s really a nice place to work. I am really excited. There are a lot of referrals, golden cards and all here. It’s really a good place to work although there hasn’t been that much done here for quite awhile. I had the feeling that I would love to turn Senior here. I know the Lord will call me where he wants me to go but I think this is a nice area and a big challenge and has a lot of possibilities.
I got thinking about Brother Southam’s stories and experience and it got me thinking. My German is good enough that I can really now start to adopt this attitude of faith in the Lord to baptize people. I want to work on it. That is the kind of Missionary I want to be. Courageous and confident in the Lord; consistent and humble of himself.

I talked with my companion all day today about the work and his feelings. He is really a great Elder. He has had a few down experiences on his Mission and he is just a little tired of it all, and maybe a little negative. But deep down in him is a small flame of desire and he really has great intentions. I can see where maybe I can king of help him feel good about it all. He has tremendous potential and I feel maybe the Lord directed me here to see if I can help him find himself and be the Missionary he can be.
October 26, 1975
October 26, 1975, I really can’t believe it but it’s been 6 months since I walked into that old Mission Home there on North Temple in Salt Lake. I remember how hard that was. At the time I didn’t understand a lot of things that I do now. It was a trying week there at Salt Lake. The General Authorities were great and all but I guess I wasn’t really prepared to leave my family and all when I went in. The LTM was a lot better. I worked hard and really loved that and now I just can’t believe how fast the time is going and how much I love the work.
It was the realization of one of my goals to go to church today for the first time and be able to understand all what was going on. I had made a goal a long time ago to be able to speak the language at 6 months out. Well I was able to talk to everyone in the Lankwitz Geminde. I really feel good about the progress I have made and I know the Lord has really blessed me.
I have really been feeling some wholesome feelings about the work the last couple of days. I know there are some people out there waiting for me to find them. I know if I develop the faith and work hard and put these other worldly things aside that the Lord will bless me, and use me and my companion as tools for bringing people into his kingdom. I know there is a family out there, just waiting.
My companion and I had companion interview tonight. He is really a great Elder and really wants to do good. He sits here and tells me he has no desire but he does. He just needs a little direction. Apparently he had a few bad companions at first and it has affected his whole outlook. Tonight we set some goals. A first for him, but I know he wants to. We will be working hard and I can really feel the fire coming in him. He has lots of potential, I just need to help him find and use it and develop the self-confidence that he needs.
October 28, 1975
I just feel real good tonight. I am one-fourth done with my Mission and it has been a beautiful experience. I shall call it the learning and preparing stages. Now I will go on learning and all but I have other assignments and I can feel new things coming up for me.
I am faced with several challenges, new companion, new gegend, new Geminde but I am ready to face them head on. I am real thankful for the opportunity to work with Elder Jones. I was so discouraged at first but now I can see that light way up ahead. I can help him. I can really love him, and help him be the Elder he was meant to be. He is a great Elder and a great person, and a great Missionary and I feel a real strong attraction to him.
I love this Mission and the many wonderful opportunities it gives me. I am so thankful the Lord called me here to labor in Germany. I love the people, the work, and my calling. As I take the first corner – my heart is full.
October 27, 1975
Today was a long day. We went to Choir this morning and did just a little work (not near enough) and then went and saw Sister Gerdoff’s Austelling at Tiergarten, again. We have had so much hassle with all that I really wonder about its effectiveness and all. It’s pretty well done but bores the people to death. Then we have all these personal conflicts. I really wonder about the motive of a lot of people. Like her, Elder Nasland, among others. What would I do in this position? This human relations and personal opinions area is something that you have to work out. Be led by the Spirit.
October 27, 1975
“FEELINGS”
Today I had a few minutes to myself and I just went into the room at Tiergarten and thought for awhile. My mind is always working and I couldn’t really concentrate on any one thing but I was thinking about myself. Who am I? What am I doing here? Well I’ve done a lot of thinking in these areas before but I was once again brought to a point of amazement as I really contemplated how it was in the Pre-existence. I was there with God and Jesus, - I knew them personally, with Adam, Moses, Abraham, - I knew them all. I am here upon this earth to work out my own salvation and come back into their presence. I am a man, only a man. But only a man means also a Son of God. Sometimes, and it happens all the time, I will be sitting there looking at the people or walking down the street and it seems like I am not there. I see this world as just a place that I am not really a part of. I know why I’m here. I see those people out there that don’t and I yearn. They are lost. I can feel the inhibitions of this world come down on them. I am free. Jesus said it. I know the truth – it has made me free. I feel like some people are like animals. This world is their zoon. I want to help them. I want to give them the knowledge that I have. I want to point them back on the road. I pray to God to lead me to those people that are searching for these answers that I can give them. I feel this. I know it – and every time I go out I want to find that man. The one that’s searching. And with the Lord’s help, I will.
Now there’s a question I have here. Why do I feel this way? My companion and many other Missionaries don’t. Is it a blessing God gives me? Is it my own Spirit? Do others have it but don’t know? Can I help other people feel this way about themselves and life??? I love the Lord. I am truly blessed!!!
October 28, 1975
Another long day is finally over. My companion and I were called about 8:00 to go to Sister Knaetsch’s this morning for breakfast. Wow I have never eaten so much for breakfast in my life. She had wurst, and fish, and eggs, and bread and salad and cheese and jam and toast and hot chocolate – the works. It tasted so good, I really couldn’t believe it. Then she brought more stuff – and more. I was pretty full, but I can say I have eaten an eck Deutsch breakfast. It really was great. I will have to show my parents.
I was on today and we worked harder than we have for a long time. I really felt touched today by the progress my companion is making. I want to just keep pushing him with my 24-hour positive attitude and make him see the positive things of this work. I was really touched by a lot of things and tomorrow I am going to start something real special. I can’t wait – but tomorrow is really going to be special.
We dropped by Frau Kuhnau tonight. She is so nice but her son is a real devil. Wow I can’t believe him. She fed us and all, but I really didn’t have good feelings about the whole thing because of staying too long and just nor working. She is special to Elder Jones and I let it go but I will wonder about it in the future.
I am really tired. I got up late and that didn’t matter a bit. I am still tired. Tonight my companion is making cinnamon rolls. He is a little off, sometimes.
I have had a lot of feelings about things lately, but tomorrow I am going to do something really neat. Maybe I can get some of these feelings down. I really don’t know. It’s hard to write what you feel.
October 29, 1975
We went to the Choir this morning and learned 3 or 4 new songs. The practice was not bad but there was a lot of playing around. Afterwards I got checked in (Amelded) here in Steglitz and then went on the Arbeit.
We gave one discussion on an appointment and then also one just dropping by this man on a referral. We gave him a discussion right then. His name is Herr Fink and he married a Korean lady. He said he would take and read the Book of Mormon and pray about it. We’ll go back on him. It could be good. It’s the first investigator we have found in this new area. Anyway it’s the first one I have found. The others are already there, ya, but he is new flesh.
My companion and I talk about attitude and feelings toward missionary work all the time. I have my own and he has his. There is not strife or anything but we have a lot of different opinions. It is really hard sometimes but I know in myself what kind of a Missionary I want and will be and am. And sometimes these feelings we have are really strong. I know how I think people should be taught but I also have learned a lot with Elder Jones.

I really enjoy my Mission. These things I am learning are so great. I can’t believe the progress and things that are happening to me. Today is kind of a special day for me. It has been one month since that special zone conference. It has been 19 years and 7 months since I was born and just a few days past my 6 month mark on my Mission. It is also special because tonight I am starting another special diary that will really be a treasure to my wife to be.
October 30, 1975
A week has gone by, as it would be, a week here and I still feel lost sometimes. I am doing pretty good but there are still things I am mixed up about. We don’t do much Tracting and we really need to meet more people. I want to find some new people.
I have really been thinking about the work. I can’t wait until I get my Golden and a brand new gegend to go do the Lord’s work. I am working hard and I am really trying to help the work and especially my companion along but just the same I am thinking about the day and what I will do when I am Senior. In a way I look forward to it but I right now don’t feel ready.
I am really trying to help my companion but sometimes he gets so many rebellious feelings he just gets upset. I wish I could help him but that isn’t his nature. I really don’t know what to do but that’s one of the biggest problems. He just wants to chew on people, members or anyone. Na, ya, maybe it will come.
I want to write some of the feelings I have about my District and other Missionaries. Today we ate by Sister Kuzel and we were there 3 hours. I couldn’t believe it. The other Missionaries use the words “guys,” “D.L.’s,” etc., etc. I just can’t be that way. I won’t let myself get in that old way again. I don’t feel good around all the Camera talk and worldly things. I am here to baptize people and it bothers me to be with those Elders sometimes. I am real quiet around them, which usually isn’t me, but I guess I am changing. For the better I believe. “Conduct yourself with ‘quiet dignity’” says our handbook. I am a Missionary, but not an ordinary one. Maybe the others think I’m “proud” or “goodie-goodie” or something but I know what I am and will be and that’s all that matters. I am true to myself and my goals. It’s tough sometimes but the Lord knows and I believe he will bless me.
October 31, 1975
Happy Halloween. It was Friday today and Halloween. I got up in good time and was able to write some good letters this morning. We didn’t have companion study though and that’s not good. I guess I really do need to work on getting myself together. I am losing ground in some areas. I have been getting up as I would like to. I need to get myself back on the path again.
Today we got our haircuts and then went to the Sisters for lunch. They had lasagna. It was so good. I am going to have to get the recipe. We had a good time there – and I felt I had a little too much fun. One time I slipped and said something about old maids to the group. I was really embarrassed and felt real stupid – and not in time. I feel dumb and bad about it now. Oh, well, I am learning.
After choir practice we had a special Austausch. I went with Elder Blaine from Roy, Utah and Elder Jones took Elder Ingersal and also a Spanish guy from our branch and went and taught a couple of Spanish families. It was a complicated austausch. We had to get the right people at the right time with that family. I get excited when I think of the ways we use to reach people. All the time, effort, and money that goes into this Missionary work. I am so glad to be a part of it.
I can’t believe tomorrow is November. Today was Halloween although it didn’t seem like it. The days are really flying by. I talked with Elder Ingerstall at his wohnung this evening for a few minutes. He has quite a story. How after he joined the church he got kicked out of his home and family. He went to Idaho and was taken in, etc., etc. Another night I guess.
November 2, 1975
I was on today. We worked hard and did some door-to-door finally. We walked all over the place. It was kind of a bad day. We went einkaufing (shopping) this morning and we stopped at a music store (so my companion could get a flowered guitar strap for his camera, na, ya). Anyway I picked up a Music Score for America’s Homecoming Album. It trunked me out. I had negative feelings the whole day. It was a long hard day and I am dead. It was kind of a down day for me.
Sunday, November 2, 1975
Yesterday was Sunday – I am writing this early Monday morning because I didn’t have any time last night. I had a very special day yesterday and also a few hard places.
After Sacrament meeting – which I didn’t bear my testimony even though I wanted to – we came up to Tiergarten for the Ausstellang – No one was there (investigators) so I went into a little room and thought. I wrote my letter to the President and was just pondering what to do next when Elder Grey came in. He is an Elder from Ogden, I think, and in my District. He’s only been out 2 months. He is a good Elder but I had put him in the “dink-off” class. Well, we got talking and soon I realized how much like me he was. As the conversation developed I began to realize a lot of things. As we talked further I began to really open up. He did too. We were both honest and really had a wonderful conversation. We composed our ideals, and realized we were very much the same. Then we compared our environments – me first in Spandau with Elder Blackham and Manwaring and he first in Lankwitz with Elder Wolf. We both realized a lot of things but he realized and understood a whole new concept of Missionaries through my explanation of Elder Manwaring to him.
He caught a whole new vision of the Missionary he really wanted to be but had never seen so didn’t know how. I realized once again how lucky I was to have come to Spandau and to the situation I did. I will ever be grateful for the wonderful start I had on my Mission. Elder Grey and I both realized a lot of things as we talked and talked. I was really open to him and I even told him a couple of things about myself that were too personal. I have been doing a lot of thinking about that and I realize the Lord gave this special experience to me to grow. I learned several things. (1) I learned that when I talk about desire, “ducks in a row” as I call it, seeing a goal and reaching it being the Missionary you want to be, catching the vision of Missionary life and life in all respects – like I was with Elder Grey last night; I find that it strengthens my own testimony and convictions in these areas. It’s the thought and living it as you say it. Like bearing testimony builds testimony. Same principle. I was really helped last evening as I talked to Elder Grey in many ways by listening to my own words as I told him my ideas. It got me thinking again and reevaluating again. It was good. (2) The next thing that I learned is that you can talk about these inner feelings and goals with someone but you have to be careful. There are some personal feelings or goals that just should be kept to yourself. To me Elder Grey and I are going to be good buddies but I took him into my confidence on a few points that I wish I hadn’t have. A feeling later told me that it cheapened or lessened my very personal or inner feelings by sharing them. Only with my wife and the Lord should I ever share these things. Well, it’s not that bad. It was a good experience for me and I know now that the Lord gave it to me to open my eyes. I made a good friend yesterday, but I also learned a very good lesson.
Well all that happened in the afternoon. My companion and I sat down and just started talking. Soon it was our same old fight about faith, and work and desire to do things. Our ideas are just exactly opposite. I know what I am and what I know is true and I know it’s the right way. It’s the way our Prophet has outlined for us and it is taught by all the church officials – you read it in the Bible – FAITH without WORKS is dead – and I have a testimony about faith, desire, working, etc., etc. My companion can give me all the excuses or anything else he want but I know it to be true and won’t be influenced. Well I was trying to press my ideas on him but he is just as stubborn as I am in his views. So I realized that maybe I just better listen. Soon he was telling me his story. I asked him questions that lead the story farther and farther. I just tried with every effort to be that listener that everyone needs once in a while.

Elder Jones told me his story, a story that was hard to believe. I felt so bad and wanted to help him all the way but it was just hard. He told me how he came without a testimony, how one of his girlfriends died of cancer, the other wrote him off. How he got into debt at different times. How he just about got sent home. How the many times he tried to work and be the Missionary he wanted to be but failed. How he got mixed up in a dumb situation with a lady member in Lubeck. How his companions were really negative towards him. His battles, his feelings, his attitude, etc., etc. It was quite a story and I gained a whole new look and insight on him. I tried to encourage him and be his friend but that is only a start. He is really a mixed up Missionary but wants to do good but doesn’t know how. I really want to help him, and right now I guess that means just being his friend and an example for him. I really want to help him bad.
November 3, 1975
I was on today, and didn’t feel very good about the job I did. Not that it was my fault – just that we had a bad day. We had to go see two girls off at Bahnhof Zoo to take them Elder Jones basketball hoop. That threw our whole day off. We then went to the chapel after an hour of early morning G.Q.’s for choir practice. The choir is doing great. I really enjoy it. Anyway after choir Elder Walton and Grey came home with us for lunch. After making pizza and all we just couldn’t get going. It was 4:30 before we left – what a lazy bum.
We had a good evening though. First we met a lady that is a member but inactive. She was so neat. She still has a strong testimony of the church and everything – she just got plowed under by too much work. They made her GFV President and she just spent her whole time working for the Church. I have never thought about such a situation as we found. She is a tremendous lady and just can’t say no when they give her more and more work. One day she will come back to church but right now she knows she will be asked to do more stuff and doesn’t feel up to it with her other job and all. Sister Ross is her name and we broke the ice by talking about St. George. She had been there and stayed with Brother Shefield. We really had a lot of fun talking about my town. At first she didn’t have much time for us but after that good talk she made us tea and cookies. She is a wonderful lady and we’re going back.
We also went over and saw Sister Kuhnau. She is a fantastic member of the church. For being just 2 months baptized she really is strong. She feeds us, mends our clothes, and is even sending home some Christmas presents for our families. What a lady. I can’t wait until I baptize my family like that. What a joy! I know if I am humble and worthy the Lord will bless me also with such a family.
November 4, 1975
I wish I could pull out a tape recorder that worked for feelings. I sure have a bunch right now and I just can’t express myself. I got a lot of post this morning and I learned a lot of things. First of all, Marc, wrote me a letter. He is doing great with Missionary work but his trouble lies at home. His Mom is going to get married again and then move to Phoenix. He doesn’t know what to do. He has fasted until he lost 9 lbs., and prayed and prayed but he still doesn’t know. He asked me for some advice. I really don’t know what to tell him but I am fasting and I can feel the Lord whispering a few things to me that might help. He is a great Elder and a great friend and I am going to answer his call with every help I can.
Mitzie also wrote me a beautiful letter tonight. She has really been pressed for time lately and hasn’t really written a good one for quite a while. Today’s made up for it though. Just a few things before I get on to the touching parts. She said Amber and Karen are not waiting for their Missionaries anymore. That is really hard to believe but I guess it’s true. That makes me think about my own situation. Na, ya, Harry too. He is pretty dependent upon Sherri – I’ll have to maybe shed some light for him and think it out myself. I really was impressed by Mitzie’s feelings on the Temple. She is going to make someone a terrific wife. She has the best qualities and is really preparing, she is just a great girl and special spirit.
The thing that really impressed me was what she lived through last week. Apparently someone we both knew, a good LDS girlfriend of ours – waiting for a Missionary, turned up pregnant at the office. Well she was going to get an abortion and Mitzie knew about it. She can’t break any confidences but she can talk to the person involved. She knew it would be really tough and she fasted and prayed for strength to help her because she knew it was her responsibility. As the time came she was able to talk to the girl about but unable to help her change her mind. But Mitzie said a feeling came over her and she knew that she had done her part. She had been an instrument in the hands of the Lord and she had also been true to herself enough to stand up and do what she knew to be right. The whole experience really touched me and I know that Mitzie is a girl that has her values straight and will make a tremendous helpmate for any man. I really love her, and even though I know the risks involved, I hold her special to me and the time we have spent together will always be my memory of her whether things work out or not.
Today I wasn’t on and so I took a magazine with me. It was an Ensign and I spent our travel time reading, contemplating, and pondering my situation in life. My personal goals, the people I am associated with, my family, etc., etc. It was just a good day. I am so thankful for who I am and the most wonderful blessings that I enjoy. We talked to a Frau Heller tonight who was so mixed up I could hardly believe it. She was married but says she wished she wouldn’t have. She has and wants no children. She believes in nothing and has really no purpose for being here on earth. As I gave her a D-1 I wanted so much to let her know the truth of those things. Elder Jones was laughing at her because of her surprise at the things I was telling her. I was so mad at him. The whole situation was so dumb and could have been so good. I just stood back and watched both of them. Neither has what I have. Even Elder Jones doesn’t realize a lot of things. I am just so thankful for the Gospel and the knowledge that the Lord has given to me. To have children and live with them forever is the most precious blessing I have and I really can’t believe there are people here that don’t want kids. I love my God.
November 5, 1975
Another good day. I felt pretty good about today. We worked hard and got a lot done. We had two discussions. They were both with men that are pretty intelligent and therefore find it hard to believe. They have a lot of questions but don’t try to seek for the Spirit. One a Herr Falkenburg was really trying to tell us some stuff. He said that there is no such thing as Evil. God didn’t create any and doesn’t know any. I was really wondering how he could say that but he believed it. He just couldn’t understand God. We tried to tell him about opposition in all things and etc. but it didn’t work. Na, ja, he just couldn’t understand. The more I see people and the more I talk to people the more I understand the importance of the first vision. When people understand the true nature of God they have a goal to work for and so many doors are opened. It is the most important piece of knowledge we have. I know it to be true and thank the Lord for letting me be a member of his kingdom.

November 6, 1975
I’m not going to write too much tonight. I had a good day and mom sent me a good encouragement letter. I did a lot of thinking about Brother Southam and being the Missionary I want to be. We had a good day and I took a little time to reevaluate. Tomorrow should be a good day.
I want to live my goals better.
It’s tough – it really is – a day by day, hour by hour struggle.
November 7, 1975
This has been a great week. Today was really good. I bought Mitzie a clock today. I have had a clock like this one on my mind ever since I was in Europe last time and today I finally bought it. Now the trouble is getting it home. I don’t know if I trust it parcel post but air mail is too expensive. I’ll have to figure that out later. I got some other stuff too for the other people I should give stuff to. Christmas is a hassle. There are so many good things I could get – but it’s so expensive and takes so much time. I have everyone now but my family. I will have to get them taken care of next week.
I just feel good at the end of another week. We didn’t do anything spectacular but it just feels good to get our things taken care of. It was a good day today. We had an appointment with this English family, Campbell. We ate a real good Roast Beef dinner there. We don’t talk too much on gospel and if I have my way I won’t go back because of that reason. I just don’t feel good about “making friends.” I am here to find the people that the Lord has prepared to accept the gospel. It’s real hard because I want to buy all these neat things and take all these neat pictures but that’s not why I am here. It’s important to take pictures and learn of the culture and all but I am here as a Missionary and when I do these other things I just don’t feel the way I want.

Tomorrow I am going to be up early – back on schedule doing the things the way I want to. It will feel good I need it. I pray for the Lord’s help to strengthen me.
November 8, 1975
I learned something today. I was listening. Listening to those little whisperings that often come to me. Usually I think they are just dumb ideas in my head that just pop in. But I really don’t think so. I remember once back in Spandau I was in a Sacrament meeting and I felt like I should go out and see what was wrong with Elder Manwaring. Well, it was the worst thing I could have done. Elder Blackham was already talking to him, everything was under control, and I had just made a commotion. Well I did a lot of thinking after that. I guess I was a lot more cautious as to the things I did. It’s hard to know if the Spirit is really whispering something to you but tonight – right now I know the reason why – but tonight I was listening and was paid off for it. I usually see people and my heart yearns for them but I don’t know to help them. Well today I was really listening. First one time as I got in a bus I saw a man and his son. Later when I got out I looked for them but they weren’t in the bus so when I stepped out he was there walking away. I ran up and G.Q. him. He was completely negative but I felt good about it and maybe if I see him again I will get another chance. That was the first example but the second was better. I was standing there in the U-Bahn station and a young man was standing there. Suddenly something told me to ask him if he was a Berliner. I didn’t know what to do but I told my companion (he thought I was crazy) but I walked up to him – pulled out a Zweck des Lebens Schrift and asked him if he was a Berliner. He was a little surprised but I was able to start a conversation. We talked for a minute. He told he was a student and was from Southern Germany. He had only been in Berlin for 4 years as a student. I talked to him about the church and then asked him if he believed in God. He said no but then I asked him what his purpose here in life was. Well about that time the Subway came so I asked him if he was going south and he was so I got in with him. He only went one Station but we talked for a second. The thing was he could feel my warmth. I was projecting my feelings. I cared for him – I really did – and he could feel it. He was busy and didn’t have too much interest but his first experience with a Mormon Missionary was a positive one. As he got out I gave him the tract and wished him good luck on his school work. He smiled back – thanks. Wow, I have broken through. I felt so good. The Spirit had led me and I was able to care enough to let it show. As you love the people and let them know it – they can feel it. I learned something today. It was a short five minutes but I learned a key that if I can continue will lead me to success on my Mission. Learn to show my love for these people. And I really do love them. I see these poor young people and these drunks and lost families and my heart is heavy. I want to help them so bad.
As a Missionary fighting for truth I realize a lot of things. Sometimes I find myself in places with people where I can just feel the filth and corruption all around me. There are a lot of people that just are not going to make it. The wicked and unbelieving people. But on the other side I think of the people that I probably knew in the pre-existence who I promised I would find and bring the gospel to and I realize that I better make every effort. Use every bit of time. Get prepared as good as I can because I know that somewhere, someone is waiting for me, and the Lord will help me find them if I am ready.
November 9, 1975
Today I guess I received a personal Revelation. I know I did. I have been studying in Rosi’s room early in the mornings lately and sometimes when I go in she has these stupid German newspapers. Well they are interesting but they have a lot of pornography in them. It is a problem here. The whole place, the whole way of German life is one big show. Well I knew a long time ago that like the President says, “I wasn’t lusting after it and it isn’t the desire of my heart” – but even so it’s distracting, and it doesn’t lead to Spirituality. Well I’ve been fighting the whole mess or a long time. This morning it was really bad, I was so distracted I could hardly study. So I got down on my knees and prayed. I wanted to really receive some concrete help. Well as I prayed a thought came into my head. A personal revelation. It’s simple. I’ve heard it a million times but it just hit me through the Spirit this morning. I was looking for something I could say or do to stop the negative thoughts. Well I came to my mind to ask myself what I would do if Jesus were there. To ask myself – what would Jesus have me do? To rely on his example and strength. It is something we should all be doing all of the time but too often we don’t. To look to the Lord for help. I am convinced of the power of prayer and the realness of personal revelation. This one was a testimony to the workings of God.
I had another big talk with Elder Jones tonight on Faith, work, attitude, desire, confidence – etc., etc. I really feel strong in my attitude towards life. I am very happy and feel very positive. He is just the opposite. Very negative on most things. Tomorrow is Zone Conference. I am real excited. I love Zone Conference. I am going to soak up every minute tomorrow as I always do. They are such a Spiritual experience every time. I will also get to talk to the President about all these things.
November 10, 1975
ZONE CONFERENCE – NEUKOLN
Wow another Zone Conference today. It was again a very spiritual day for me. The first session was especially good like they always are. It was really a great day.
Before I want to talk about the Zone Conference I want to talk a little bit about a Frau Kranz. We made an appointment last week to go by and we went by tonight just for a discussion. She had pork chops, potatoes, the whole meal for us prepared. It was real good. I was really touched. We had a great talk and left her another Book of Mormon even though she has already read it. She is a great lady and I sure would like to bring her to the truth.

Well I really don’t know where to start on the Conference today. It was also good. The President talked on 1 Nephi and families and faith and love. His talks are all so good but a lot of things impressed me today. One was that he said that there were Missionaries among us that had the Faith of Moses. We just don’t realize it. We have all these qualities. We just don’t realize it and haven’t brought out our potential yet. I can feel this. I know what he’s talking about. I feel these feelings and this Spiritual strength that he speaks of. I can feel myself being led by the Spirit – I need to really learn more but I can feel it. I was very last to be interviewed by the President and had a pretty good talk with him. For once he had a little time. He told me a lot of things. He told me how he had the opportunity to serve as a bishop’s councilor once and that the bishop was a little off but he supported him faithfully for 3 years. He said there were some times when he just knew the guy was doing it wrong but he stuck by him anyway. This idea of loyalty and realizing where the authority lies. He said he is prouder of nothing more than this time when he was loyal. It was his greatest accomplishment. I think about it and realize a lot of things.
November 10, 1975
I learned a lot of other things too. I was sitting there in Schwester Schwendiman’s class and a thought suddenly hit me. I was thinking about what she was saying on creativity. And it struck me. When I become Senior and am responsible for my investigators that if I would take time to think, ponder and pray just like I do for my personal affairs that I could help them, but not only that, be more creative and use this time to think about things I could do to love them more and show my love. It really hit me.
I was also talking to the President about this and he told me how he prayed. He says he wakes up early and lays there and just commences with the Spirit, or takes walks around his house late at night looking out the window being close with God. He says he is led by the Spirit and doesn’t even know what he is going to say but just really communicates with God. It’s being in time. He says he carries a prayer with him all day in the things that he needs. A little prayer or asking for help there. It’s called meditation and spirituality and I can feel it. He is a very spiritual man.
As I think about the things that have happened and where I fit in to this process of things I realize a lot of things. First I realize how much I don’t know but then all the things I do know. But I want to know more and will work towards that effect. The most important thing is that these things that the President is talking about are real. I can feel them. When he talks about faith I know what he means and I can feel its influences on my life. I am learning to commune with the Lord in Prayer and I am really feeling the Spirit and learning to be led by it. I thank the Lord for my Spiritual progress. It is a great blessing. It has been a great day and a Spiritual feast. The poem on the following page really touched me when I read it. It has deep meaning for me.
TAKE TIME

Take time to work with love,
It is the assurance of success.

Take time for joyous play,
It is the secret of renewing youth.

Take time to think creatively,
It is the foundation of wisdom.

Take time to love your fellow men,
It is the gateway to Heaven.

Take time each day for silence,
It is the storehouse of God.

Take time to worship God,
It is the highway of peace.


November 11, 1975
Wow I was dead all day. This morning we ate by Sister Knaetsch’s. It was so good; I can’t believe the breakfasts she makes. She is a great lady and a fantastic member of the church. She really knows how to cook. I think she is a great person.
I was a little bit down today I guess you would have to say. I was real tired for some reason. I weighed myself and according to Rosy’s scale I weigh 178 pounds which is not too good. I must have really lost a little weight. My exercise program and less eating must be working but now I need to balance out. Keep good weight but displace it. I was real tired today – maybe I better eat a little more. This being down is really a psychological deal more than anything. After I got on the work and got going everything was good. I really need to keep myself psyched up. Physically and Spiritually.
Tonight we went and did a little Abend tracting through our call backs. We made 2 or 3 appointments. I felt good about it. Then we visited a Family Schroeder. They are a very special family. I sure would like to bring him into the church but he just can’t believe it. Elder Jones started telling him about the book of Mormon. He was so fanatic it reminded me of a J.W. They felt it though, I can’t knock. It didn’t feel right to me but the Family felt it. They really believe Elder Jones. I gave my testimony several times hoping that the Spirit would touch him. One big problem is the fact that they haven’t given them the discussions right and therefore they haven’t taught them how to feel the Spirit. You can teach a million ways but I am so convinced that the discussions using and depending on the Spirit is the best. I don’t know I felt funny about the way they’ve been doing it and tonight too. I’ll have to do some more thinking about it.
I have been thinking over the Zone Conference yesterday. Especially my talk to the President. I have been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things but one is really impressing me right now. When I look at Missionaries, men, or just people I try and see what kind of people they are. But too often I compare myself to the. I have learned a lot of things but this has also struck. The Spiritual growth of someone can only happen between a man and the Lord. I look at what I think are good Missionaries and they might be just mediocre but look good. Then again someone who I think is a real downer might be the man that is Spiritually in time and will end up in the Celestial Kingdom. A man is a man and what he is, and not what other men think of him, is what’s important. It’s an eternal truth but one hard to understand.
In consideration of these truths and principles I want to try and direct my life towards the Savior. I want to become a very Spiritual man, one who is in time with the Lord. I want to learn to be the best person I can and not in comparison to anyone else. I am setting a goal to always be very careful in my judgments of people, to never compare myself, to accept all and love all men. To judge only to the extent that I keep myself in good company but never put any limits on a man. To work out my own salvation and try to help all my associates any way I can. To love all men. To follow Jesus in all these areas. To make sure all my actions are for the right reasons. To develop humility and love. These are goals that will last my whole life. Not obtainable in one day, but a lifelong pathway.
November 12, 1975
Today was a great day. We had an Austausch and I WENT TO SPANDAU. It was so good to see the whole place again. I couldn’t believe it. I have only been away for three weeks and already it seemed a little different. It was so good to fahr the cad again. It was really good to sleep in my bed again also. I went there to handle an appointment by a Herr Bolle. We had abendbrot and really had a good appointment but he is really unbelieving. We also taught two other discussions. Frau Meckbach and a real nice young family Shinmacher or something. I bet if they keep going as they are they will be baptized. It was a good day. Elder McCowin and I had a good time. We really had a good talk and thought some good things out.

I got two big Christmas packages while I was there. I couldn’t believe it. The one day I come I got two packages. It was so cool. The only day out of all of them and they come. It was all my Christmas stuff from the family. I even got a Christmas tree. They are so good to me I couldn’t believe it. Mitzie sent one and Mom sent one but I could tell it was a coordination job. Na, ja, more later.

November 13, 1975
Well I’m back home again. I brought all my stuff with me and set up my tree. We had a good day but I really couldn’t get into it. Mom sent me some thermals and a new Ensign from the conference reports.
Tomorrow is preparation day. I have a lot to do. I hope I get it all done.
November 15, 1975
I only want to write a little bit about yesterday. It was Friday, preparation day and we just lost time left and right. We went to the church at 1:00 to “play” Basketball. It was okay. I was just going to shower and study which I did and felt real good.
After a good, but long, choir practice we went to the show. It was called the Eiger Sanction with Clint Eastwood. It was not bad. Showed a lot of Zion National Park. I remember when Clint was in town making the show. It was not too bad of a show but the language, and mender, and sex it was all bad and I just felt rotten. It was not my idea to go and if I ever get another chance I won’t be seeing another show in Germany on my Mission. I just feel it takes away from this strength I have been feeling. Na, ja, that’s all I am writing on that.
Today was a pretty rotten day. I was on and since we came home late last night I didn’t get a chance to plan it out. We were lost all day. On my days Elder Jones won’t do anything, it’s just like a free day for him. We didn’t do too good today. Right now he is talking to Rosy. We had our usual fight. It’s about Faith. I always tell him what I believe on Faith that if we commit ourselves and dedicate ourselves to the Lord and make a covenant with him to do his will – like baptize someone – that he will bless us. I even believe that if our strength is strong enough and our will is his he will bless us. He is bound like the scripture says. It’s terribly hard to do but I believe the principle is true.

Well Elder Jones can’t see it. He says it doesn’t matter what we do it is only when the Lord wants us to that we’ll achieve success. He has seen a lot of dink offs baptize people and therefore he says I am wrong. It is true the Lord uses all his Missionaries and even the dink offs but the principle holds true. If you can put yourself in a position to be used by the Lord he will bless you. It is completely clear to me. It doesn’tmatter to me what he says. I believe with enough faith and hard work the Lord will bless us as we bring his children into the Kingdom. It’s just a matter of faith. He says nobody is that faithful except Christ and that we might as well go the easy way because once in a while the Lord uses those Elders too. He said he did his thing when he signed to come. After that the Lord takes over. I say we work and work and have faith and use it and put it to good works and put ourselves in a position to be used for the work by the Lord. It has to be done for his glory for the right reasons that is true but I believe the principle is true.When I turn Senior and feel I am ready I am going to try it out. Anyway I know it’s true and my mind is made up and I guess I won’t say any more to him about it because it leads to strife and it isn’t worth it. So discussion closed.
Today was a bad day. We did some tracting and didn’t have too good of luck. Oh, well, we have just got to have a better attitude on a lot of things. I did some looking at myself. Wow I have really gotten lazy and slow. I haven’t been getting up. I haven’t been communicating in my prayers. I am way behind in my discussions. (I read today how I was going to be true to myself and reach my goal of all the discussions in 6 months.) Well I need to really buckle down and work. I might not get all of the “J” done in time but I am really going to work and get “F” and “H” learned by January and then “J” for sure in January. Here’s a goal that I might fall short of but I won’t feel bad if I can get all but “J” done by the 1st. I am really going to preach and I am going to be a good discussion Missionary. It is so important. I am also going to work harder in my other areas. One of the most important is my prayers. I haven’t felt like I have really been communicating too well with the Lord. There are a lot of things that I need to work on but I will start feeling this strength again when I really ask for it. We all have our ups and downs and I guess this is a little down for me but I know it really isn’t a down. It’s just the Lord showing me how much I am dependent on him. I love this work and the experiences I am having here on my Mission. It is a wonderful opportunity to be a Missionary here in North Germany. I honestly believe that if I keep working hard and keep developing my faith the way the Lord would have me to it that he will bless me; that I may become an instrument in his hands to bringing in a family into the kingdom of God. If I work hard enough and my righteous desires are strong enough I will be blessed. I feel it; I know it and I am working hard to accomplish it.
November 16, 1975
Well I had a very good Spiritual day today. I started fasting last night for my Dad. Mom wanted me to fast with her Thursday but I couldn’t because I had that appointment for Abendbrot with Bolle. I actually felt real bad because I had forgotten. The day came and went and I forgot all about it. I fasted today though and felt real close to the Lord. When you fast you have to really pray and keep your mind on the fast. I want to fast more for Richard. I can really see a vision and I want so bad to see Richard come into the fold. He went to the ward dinner last week and I am hoping that these temple experiences will touch him. I pray he will be touched.
November 16, 1975
I felt better today. Even though I didn’t get up until 6:30 I did get my exercises done and some great studying done. I copied all my discussion scriptures and put them in my little blue notebook. It will help me put things all together as I teach.
I was really touched by a lot of things today. I was just in the Spirit because of my fasting and praying. I read a story by Thomas S. Monson from the last conference. It was how he was inspired to go give a little blessing to a little girl. It was called “Suffer the Little Ones to Come to Me” or at least that was the theme. As I read that story, I was riding the bus going to church. Tears came to my eyes as I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the story. I tried not to let my companion see but I don’t think I could have prevented it. They just come. As I was touched by the Spirit I couldn’t read for a couple of minutes because of the tears. It was really a special talk. Mom, sent me the conference reports Ensign and I have a hard time doing anything else. It is really the word of God and I know it.

Today in church Sister Woite talked about her trip to Salt Lake and she talked about the temple and a little bit about Brigham Young. She was telling about his personality. He really loved his wives and kids and his house that he built showed it. His personality and family life must have really been quite something. I can’t wait to get home and read about him and these other men of early Church History. I have so many good books to read, but these stories of early Church History and about these special men are going to be looked forward to.
I had a good though about talks tonight. Whenever a real good talk is given it is good because the stories are good. I will try to get good stories and where possible personal experiences. That makes the best teaching.
November 17, 1975
Wow did I feel good this morning. I got up in good time, exercised good, shaved, etc. and was studying by 6:00. I said a special prayer and I felt the Lord’s help with my studying. I learned F-4 this morning and most of F-5 today. Tomorrow I will learn F-6 and then it’s all downhill. I can’t believe how easy it comes when I apply myself. This really is blessing me and if I will only work hard I can get over this work. I am learning my discussions by the overblick method like they do in America. I am tired of messing around. I feel if I really apply myself I can be done at least superficially by January 1. That is my goal. I will give it my all. Right now I am on fire.
Another big step happened today in the Mission. 4 of the Elders only four weeks ahead of me are turning Senior this month. That means my days are numbered. I better be ready when that call comes. It could be December 18 but I really don’t think so. It will probably be in January or February but I better be ready in any event. It’s important though that I remember Elder Manwaring’s words in any event. And that is to be humble and don’t worry about when a calling comes.
I have to think about a lot of things that my Seniors have done through the months. I think one of the most important things is to be one in all that you do. That’s one thing I don’t like about Brother Jones. Everything I hear is “I,” “I.” I hope I learn that. It has to be done in twos. Make your companion a part of everything you do. I want to learn that lesson good. There are so many things great about a Mission but one of them is learning to get along with someone and really make them a part of your life.
One of the greatest experiences you will ever have is when you make a best friend out of your companion.
November 18, 1975
I had a good day. We didn’t get much done with 3 member branches. Sister Knatsch this morning for breakfast. That took a long time. Sister Melzer for coffee and kuchen this afternoon. And Sister Kuhnau tonight. All we did was eat. We talked to 2 people today about the church. Wow thinking about it I guess we really didn’t do too well. I really feel sometimes that there is so much to do and we are standing still. I don’t really know what to do. I try my best to make my days go good but we just don’t get that much good work done. I don’t know, sometimes.
I am thinking about the time, very short now, when I will become a Senior. I really want to be a good Elder and above all do the Lord’s will. I hear all these Missionary stories about great things happening and I just hope that I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to bring about his will. Most missionaries might get a baptism or two but I believe that if you live right and are working hard and show and use your faith the Lord will really bless you to bring about his causes. I really want to show my Faith on the Lord and work hard and bring about his work. That golden family is waiting for me. I know it. I can feel it. I am in the preparation stage now. I have been getting up good the last 3 days. I am marching through that F discussion like crazy. It will be good to get it out of the way. I feel good about things and I thank the Lord for it. I hope sometime in my Mission I get the opportunity to work in a little dorf somewhere. Where it’s just me, my companion and the Lord. I don’t really want all these big leadership positions. I want to just be the good old plain missionary that baptizes people. I feel the Lord will really bless us in reaching our goals of 5 times as many people. I can feel some good things coming for me in my Mission. I am really excited and thankful.
Here’s a good thought about days and time, etc.
THIS NEW DAY
This brand-new day is mine to spend
Exactly as I choose –
To mark with real accomplishment
Or squander and misuse
To fill with love and cheerfulness
Or bitterness and pain –
It is MY choice to make this day
A total loss – or gain.
So, counsel and direct me, Lord
That when this day shall end
I may rejoice at work well-done.
Be richer by a friend –
And when I sleep, may angels pause
Beside Your throne and tell
That I have lived this day of mine
Not wastefully – but well!

The reason I wrote this poem is because I think that living one day at a time for the Lord is so important. If I can concentrated on making this day the best I can in his service then I will be happy all of my days.
Brother Page, my old Zone Leader, had a good little thought. He said that we pay a price everyday for the time the Lord gives us. One day of our lives. It’s a big piece to pay for the precious time. So in exchange of the price we should get all we can out of it and especially live it righteously.
I think it’s an excellent thought.
Wow I crashed and burned this morning. I got up and was just dead tired. I went into Rosy’s room and climbed on her couch and slept. I just couldn’t do anything. I came back into our room and slept some more. I was just dead. I have been getting up pretty good lately but this morning I was dead.
Choir practice this morning was great. I was really touched by the way we sang and the feelings I had for some of the songs. Tears came to my eyes on several places. I really felt the Spirit. I am excited to sing in this Choir and if the people feel what I do when we sing I think it will be a great Missionary tool. Elder Breitenbeker is in charge and he is really putting his all into it. He’s a good man. I feel he’s doing a great job.
Tonight we had a Familiaheimabend with Frau Krachadale and her 12 year old daughter and her friend. I thought it was a fantastic F.A. We showed “Suche” and the Spirit was so strong. She said she was wordless afterwards. I could really feel the Spirit so I bore her my testimony. We told her about the Restoration and Joseph Smith and all the things that were important for us at our time. The Spirit was really there. She had tears in her eyes. I really felt great but she said time was short before Christmas. We are going to take a Book of Mormon by but won’t get to teach her until after Christmas. I really was touched by the Situation. I really think she will be a great member if we get the chance to teach her and bring her into the Gospel. A great experience.
Today I am with Elder Hubrisch. We’re Austausched so I get to work with him tomorrow. I am sleeping and everything. It should be real great.
November 20, 1975
We had a great day together with Elder Hubrisch and I. It was great talking to him about a lot of things and just working with him. His parents have quite a story. They lived in East Germany and then decided to leave. This was in the early 50’s. At that time people were free to move around but they got suspicious easily. So the family said they were just going on a trip. They didn’t take hardly a thing. They just left and came to West Berlin. Two years later they came to Salt Lake and Elder Ronald Hubrisch was born there, the last child. He speaks excellent German. He has spoken it all his life.
We had a great day together. He has a girlfriend named Jerri. She is exactly like Mitzie. We talked about them for 2 or 3 hours. They are a lot alike. We had a good long talk about life and everything. He is a great Elder and we made a good friendship. We had a great day working together. Both of the appointments fell out but we still had a great day. We talked about Faith and Missionaries and the kind we want to be. We will be both going Seniors within a couple of months and we talked about a lot of ideas. He feels the same way I do. I told him my feelings on a lot and he agreed. I learned a lot of things from him too. We also talked about the ten tribes and the tribe of Ephraim and other things. It was just a great day. I really enjoyed it. We had a good time and we will be great friends. When were home he’ll come and stay with me in St. George. Maybe he and Jerry and Mitzie and I will do something together. We are exactly in the same position and feel the same way about them. Jerry sent him some thoughts. I have the book and am copying some of them. The one on the next page is real good. I really like it.
FREE WHEELING
I have often wondered
As the weeks go by,
How my footsteps were guided
From time to time.
Who turned the wheel
When I knew not why.
And took me away
From the way I planned.
Who led me up
To an unknown door,
With a familiar message,
“Would you like to know more?”

Today came the mail,
With letters of cheer,
From friends and relatives
Far and near.
I read them all
And then I knew;
For each one ended:
“We pray for you.”
November 21, 1975
Sometimes I wonder, I really do. Today we didn’t get a thing done. My companion got up late, played basketball, took pictures, and etc., etc. We didn’t even have a companion study and I was on. It’s real hard to work with him. I really don’t know but I feel down. I had a good long talk with Elder Hill at the Choir practice. He is such a good man. I wish and hope and pray that I will get to work with lots of Elder Hills and Manwarings before I fly home from here. I am more than a little perturbed in my present position. I guess I shouldn’t worry about it so much. I am not the Senior so I should just spend my time studying. But then I feel immer noch that nothing gets done. I am just sort of lost. I will have to seek the Lord’s council better I guess and draw on his support better. I will also have to use my own time better and plan things better. Just get myself better in tune with the Lord. I really need to work in a lot of areas.
It’s been a hard day. If it wasn’t for Mitzie’s good letter and support this morning and the support I feel from the Lord I could have really gotten down today. I guess we all have these days once in a while.
I’ll have a letter day tomorrow.
Here’s a good scripture:
“If thou art called to pass through tribulation….know thou my son, that all these things shall give thee experience and be for thy good.”
                                                                        D&C 122:5, 7
Na, ya, tomorrow will be great. The Lord will bless me.
November 22, 1975
Another not so good day. We used the Lord’s time this morning to go shopping and get the things done we didn’t get done yesterday. It wasn’t very good. I don’t feel good about it but na, ja. I had a real good day. I was up in good time and really got some good studying in. I feel good that way.
I met a guy from the Unified World Church today. He is a Norwegian and really cool guy. He is as ubergengst in his church as I am in mine so I guess I won’t get a chance to teach him. We had a good long talk. Their ideas are basically sound but they don’t have the truth. That’s plain to see. They are really lost. They’re idea of God is really mixed up and therefore their ideas on faith can’t be right. It’s a testimony to me that Satan gives them so much truth and in that last percent of untruth he really leads them away. I really felt that this guy was really a great guy and I wish I could reach him. I had an idea. If  I could get him to write to me and make a friend out of him, then maybe through the years when his ideas change because of the feeble foundation he is now sitting on, I could reach him. I don’t know it’s only an idea but I sure would like to reach him. He would make a great Mormon. I’ll work and pray and maybe I can do it someway.

As we were walking all over I had some time to just think about how I would do things. I think it’s so important to love the people. Do things with them. Ausflugs, etc. Do things for them. Fellowship them. Teach them. Bring the joy of the Gospel into their homes through yourself. Love them. Share your joy with them. Commit them. Make them find themselves. Give them a Spiritual experience and teach them to seek after the Kingdom of God.
Sunday, November 23, 1975
I really love Sundays, but not ones like today. “We” decided about five minutes before hand that Elder Grey and Walton would be coming over for lunch. But first they were going to bring the food from their house. Then we made pie and pretty well shot the whole afternoon. I wish we could get it together. We had to call Elder Brunner tonight to give our hours for the week. I give up sometimes. I have a good attitude towards all the quatsch – at least I try to do my part. I just wish I could do something to improve things. I will have to just have it out maybe but I know that won’t do any good so I will just have to ask the Lord to help me in other ways. I feel good about my personal study and habits but our companionship’s hurting.
November 24, 1975
We went and talked to a Herr Guth tonight. He’s a preacher in the Evangalish Church. He was really a great guy but – well it was quite a discussion. I learned so many things from our discussion. I think the first and most important I learned was that with people, especially pastors, you can talk about everything under the sun but unless you talk about Joseph Smith and the Restoration and repentance the principles of the Gospel it’s all just a wasted effort. We were there for 2-1/2 hours. I couldn’t believe it. We talked about a lot of principles and concepts but to no avail. I kept trying to get it back to Joseph Smith but my companion was going off in every direction. We just wasted our time I think. The buy was a great guy too. I wish we could have helped him. He was Evangalish. They really do understand most things. His concepts on most of the Gospel Doctrine are correct but of course he didn’t understand the true concept of God. It happens every time. It is really a testimony to me of how Satan leads them along in so many truths but when it gets right down to understanding who they are in relationship to God and his nature and character they just don’t have it. It is so clear to me and I was again today reminded and strengthened in my testimony of this very thing. Another thing I learned was that same old thing about time and discussions. I believe that if you start getting into all areas (like Elder Jones and I did today) and talk for hours like we did today, that the Spirit is just not there. Oh, it can be but usually not. The way to bring people into the truth is through the discussions and testimony. Today we were in the class of all the other long winded preachers with just a few different ideas, instead of the humble Missionaries bearing a short simple message and leaving it to the people and the Spirit to do the converting. Well anyway I was pretty discouraged. I knew all these things but Elder Jones was just rattling on to try and prove a point here or there etc., etc. I just let him go and sat there and watching. At the end I bore my simple testimony in the name of Jesus Christ and let it go at that. I hope I will never do that as a Senior, never! We didn’t even close with a prayer. It was really a rotten discussion. I learned a lot though and I will try not to make the same mistakes.
I had a little thought today as I was walking along. And that was this same idea with saying everything you know about something. My thought was that I think I shall try to speak less in most areas. I know a lot of stuff – but the trouble is I like to blab it too much. I am going to try harder to have wisdom but have it that when I do say something its humble, planned, and just more organized. I am not really bad in this area but I understand how my Companion makes a fool of himself sometimes and I can’t help him.
November 25, 1975
We had a pretty good day. I was on and we worked pretty good, could always be better but na, ja. We copied some stuff today and I am going to send Mitzie the story on Christ’s appearance in America. It really touched me and I think she will enjoy it.
We had everything ready, after a special trip to Neukolm this morning to give family Hill a film but they weren’t there. Na, ja.

I had some bad feelings towards Elder Jones today and I realized that I have really got to do better in loving him. I am going to really try harder to love him. And give him all the support I can. I don’t like the way we do things, but I know that the Lord will bless me if I really support him.
November 26, 1975
Seven months ago today I walked into the Mission Home in Salt Lake City, Utah. I really can’t believe it has been that long. That means I have been 5 months here in Germany. The time is really going by. There is so much I still want to do that like tonight I just don’t know where to start. Oh, well, I have really learned a lot in the last 7 months. I feel like a new man. As every month passes by I realize how much I have grown – but then I also realize that that time is gone forever. I use my time pretty well but there are still lots of ways in which I could do better. My morning study is real effective I wish I could get more is all. I really do feel good though after 7 months in the field. As a Missionary I realize so many things that I never did before. I will go back a completely different man. New ideals, new goals, new dreams. Not really new but a new outlook on life and a lot of additions to my old dreams. It’s great to be here and I am looking forward to my next short 17 months.
I had a real special experience today singing. There are a lot of times when I feel the Spirit when I sing but today we were singing “What Child is This” and I was completely overcome. Tears swelled up in my eyes and my voice just sang out praise to the Lord my God. It was a very special Spiritual experience for just me. I know others there feel the same way but nobody realized what a special feeling I had. It was just between me and the Lord – but you know I think most of us feel that way. The Spirit is so strong I really enjoy it. I love to sing. Music is going to play a lot bigger role in my life when I go home. I really feel something in music and I have really appreciated it all my life but never really taken time to get that involved. I will now though!
We fixed Rosy’s record player today and played some true German Christmas songs. I loved them! All these things I have been learning it was great to hear. I really liked them. I think I’ll send them home so my family can hear. When I go home I am going to take a bunch of German Music. It’s so great because now I understand what they are saying. It really gives me the feeling of Germany and Europe too, something we usually don’t feel around here. I really enjoyed it. I need to get in on more of the culture. That’s important too. Tomorrow we are going to the Philharmonic for Thanksgiving. That should be classy also. Na ja, the music – I love it.
I had a real great day today. Elder Hill told me a great story about Elder Olsen, the Zone Leader in Hamburg. He said that Elder Olsen had a real rotten comp and just made a friend out of him instead of worrying about the work. As it turned out they baptized someone anyway. It helped me a lot because that’s what I am doing. Elder Jones and I are really doing great and even though we don’t work as hard as some I think we’ll be blessed for being “one.”
November 27, 1975
Today was a great day. We didn’t get much done this morning because Elder Jones bought some stuff for a Pfeffer Kuchen house he is going to build. So we blew the couple of hours we had doing that. Then we went to Zehlendorf for THANKSGIVING DINNER. It was great. We ate by a family Thueseson. Actually two brothers and their wives. It was really great. There were 6 Elders there, but wow did I get full. Real turkey and dressing and fixings. I haven’t tasted such good food for a long time. Tears about came to my eyes for several reasons. I was just so thankful for everything. We could just have easily been eating salami sandwiches somewhere. I was so thankful for that family. One had served a Mission in Sweden, the other in Brazil and they had the Missionaries over all the time and acted like it was nothing – but we, at least I, was really grateful. I have so much to be thankful for. I think about the big group at home. I guess Mom will have the whole “bunch” there as usual. That will be hard to miss. But I have a whole lifetime to and longer to enjoy my family. I just had a thought about that. I think when I have all my kids and they get older and married I will want them all, no matter where they are, to come home and talk about the good times. Sometimes I think about the good times I am missing, but to me it isn’t a sacrifice. Sure maybe I’ll miss a couple of years with my family but I think of the many years ahead and all my blessings and I just think this is the best I can do to pay back the Lord. People like the Thueseson’s make it easier.

Tonight we also went to the Philharmonic. It was great. Tchaikovsky’s 4 Symphonie. I really liked it but it was new to me. I like them better the 3 or 4th time and have heard them once. I really do like good music and I really love the Philharmonic. We are going again next month it will be great. A great culture treat for me.
November 28, 1975
What started out to be a good Friday ended up in the usual way. Elder Jones was going to bake and I was going to do a bunch of stuff around here, but Elder Grey and Elder Walton came over and we went shopping. I just wasted my time. There was actually no reason why I went – I just had to be with my companion. As usual more wasted time. We didn’t eat or nothing.
We went to Tiergarten early so the others could play basketball. I had a good shower and then had some time to unwind. It was just what I needed. I went into my “office” and read a little and then wrote to Mitzie. I just felt good when I came out. We had a pretty good practice. We sang lousy. I guess you always do things bad on the dress rehearsal – but I felt good – I think it will be good tomorrow.
Afterwards we had a very special testimony meeting. It was real great. I appreciate the opportunity I have to be with such a fine group of Elders. I bore my testimony. I have a strong burning testimony of the Gospel. It was a very special meeting. A great close to our practicing choir and special starter for our singing Choir.
November 29, 1975
Well the day that we’d been working so hard for finally came. Today we sang for the first time. First on the steps of Gedechnis Kirche and then at the Europe Center. It was quite an experience. At first it was tough because all the people were looking at us and everything – it was tough. It didn’t take me too long to get used to it though and then I really had a fun time. After 6 times singing our whole repertoire I really was tired. I was able to get 3 addresses which wasn’t too bad as far as I could tell. I am trying to think of a good goal for referrals to get this month. I want to really work hard on it and really put myself in a position to be led by the Lord to those people who are ready to be visited. I really want to catch the vision and find those people. This choir is going to be a great tool. I sure get tired but I think it will really be an experience this month. I really have a lot of fun singing and it will be worth it too. It was a long hard day though. We were sure tired tonight as we came home. I worked on my F.A. book for awhile but we were both pretty well shot. A long day.
November 30, 1975
Well, today was a good day. It started out bad, wow I didn’t get up until 7:00 this morning. That’s a bad sign. That’s the first time on my Mission. I will really have to get on the stick and get going again. One thing that makes it bad is that I can’t go in Rosy’s room anymore because she has started to sleep there. That’s a real bite. I had that so good, I was able to get so much done. I guess I’ll have to think of something else. I guess just turn the light on here.
Today was Advents day – the first one. We ate with Sister Kuhnau. She is so nice. I can’t believe how she worries herself over us and everyone else. She is a fantastic lady. Today Uwe was getting out of hand so I hauled off and hit him good. It shaped things up fine – it’s just what he needed but I felt bad about. Sister Kuhnau was glad I did it but still I shouldn’t have. He really deserved it because he’s such a little hellion but it shouldn’t come from me. I had a good talk tonight with Sister Kuhnau about it and we both feel real good about it. She is so neat.